A Day at Hotel Landa
Sisebuta Romeral is a woman of stature
A spiritual mentor, a channeler of spirits
And a divine light for carnal paschal-like candles.
She honed her hand-job prowess
Back in her village “Linares del Arroyo”
A town submerged by the Linares Reservoir
Located within the municipality of Maderuelo
In the province of Segovia
At the foot of the Sierra de Ayllón
Part of the Duero River basin
Fed by the Riaza and Aguisejo rivers
(The latter a tributary of the former)
In the region of Ayllón.
When the water level drops
The bell tower of the Church
Of Saint John the Baptist emerges
A saint to whom she is devoted.
To me, that bell tower looked
Like the Gargantua and Pantagruel’ s phalluses
Two giants, father and son
Created by François Rabelais
A French writer with a penchant for scatological humor.
They would lay them out on the tablecloth
During their gargantuan “Pantagruelian” feasts
Proclaiming: “Do what thou wilt”
With great wit and all manner of eccentricities.
At the age of fourteen, this Sisebuta
Would pleasure donkeys by hand
And milk cows with exquisite skill
Near the hermitage of the Vera Cruz by the reservoir
In the manner of the Knights Templar
Which is why she came to be known as
“La Primorosa” (The Exquisite One).
I am Panurgo de Montejo
Montejo de la Vega de la Serrezuela
A place that Félix Rodríguez de la Fuente
“The Friend of the Wolves,”
A naturalist and environmental educator
Born in Poza de la Sal, Burgos
Once described as:
“A distant and mysterious city of vultures”
A sanctuary for birds of prey.
When I first saw Sisebuta Milking a donkey
I fell madly in love with her
My penis growing harder than a plow
So hard, in fact, that I carved
Three furrows into the ground
On the way to the hermitage.
Seeing her weep with excitement
At the sight of me
She came over, overjoyed
To offer her congratulations
Telling me: – “She had a field for my plow
A truly beautiful one, at that.”
I invited her to spend a day
At the Hotel Landa in Burgos, in its bridal suite
The very place
Where the King of Spain “The Scoundrel”
Now in Abu Dhabi
Used to bring his concubines for his own pleasure
While the cathedral bells rang out
And the whole town grew giddy with excitement.
We never left the room
Not even to eat or dine
Enjoying ourselves immensely
With the utmost satisfaction.
She mounted me like a mare
And I, on all fours
Took her from both front and back.
Whenever I plugged her openings
Without ever withdrawing my member
I’d shower her with seed in abundance
Declaring as I thrust inside:
-Not even Saint John the Baptist could save you now!
When dawn finally broke
She cried out in desperation:
-Oh, blessed Saint John the Baptist
Get this bastard giant out of me
Or I’ll throw myself from the window!
I pulled away from her
Flailing my member about the room
While she sat upon the bed
Soaking her ravaged parts
In a basin of hot walnut-leaf water
Exclaiming:
-The saint has come to my aid!
As I opened the door to leave
I said to her:
-Come now, woman, you’re saved!
It was your Panurgo de Montejo
Who brought about your salvation.
