Robert Guffey

flop flip

she says, “this smokin’ hot japanese girl at the vegetarian  
restaurant down the street 
has been flirting with me every day.  she keeps asking 
to see all my tattoos, just to make me lift up my 
shirt and stuff—you know that ploy.  I think you used 
it on me, didn’t you?  she came all the way into fingerprint’s
just to give me some free coffee.  she used to 
have a multi-colored mohawk, but now she’s 
growing it out.  her tats are as hot as her tight body.  oh, 
man, I don’t know if I can take it anymore.  would you 
mind if I fucked this cunt in front of you and get it 
out of the way before I go ahead and cheat on you with
this little bitch?”

I say, “jesus!  why the fuck not?  how soon can we 
get this to happen?”

she says, “oh my god, I can’t believe it.  you would do 
that?  you think so little of our relationship that you’d 
let some chick you’ve never even met before fuck me
right in front of you?  how could you even stand to watch 
that happen?  how?  how?”

I whisper, “but… I… thought… you wanted that to 
happen.”

she says, “it doesn’t matter what i want.  what are your
priorities?  what matters most to you?  that’s what’s
important here.  is nothing sacred to you?  what’s wrong
with you?”