Never Shit Your Own Pants
Heidi came running down the hall
and said that Frank had done it again.
Amy was charge nurse,
responsible for the entire building
And all the residents at the Guildwick
Home for the Elderly.
Sam was sent with Heidi to deal with Frank.
He did the same thing at least three times a week.
Went into others residents’ rooms
and stole their pants before shitting in them
and walking around the ward.
The smell was horrible.
Even for seasoned nurses and staff.
Ok Frank, pants off!,
Heidi stood back to avoid the splatter.
Don returned from lunch break and laughed.
Ah Franky, I see there was an accident!
Frank said nothing.
An acquired brain injury had left him
Sam double gloved and ran off to dispose
of the pants.
Leaving Heidi and Don to clean Frank off
and get him ready for bed.
Whose pants do you think they were this time?
Frank kept cupping water in his hands
and splashing it against the wall.
His wife had died six years ago.
Frank had no one now.
Just a power of attorney who lived
in a different city and couldn’t care in the least.
It’s pretty smart if you think about it,
Never shit your own pants,
Look in Don’s closet.
He has at least twenty pairs of pants,
but never shits in any of those.
Heidi looked over to the large brown wardrobe
across the room and laughed.
So you think Frank is some kinda genius of something?
Crazy, not stupid!,
I think you’re going to steal other people’s pants
when your time comes,
Heidi nudged Don jokingly.
I’ll have my own gig,
Shit really isn’t my thing.
Sam returned to check and see
how things were going with Frank
who kept grabbing at the towel
as Don dried him off.
I need you to go check on Natalie,
Sam told Heidi.
She’s up and screaming bloody murder again.
Heidi ran off to check on Natalie.
Amy was at the nurse’s station.
Having already begun the paperwork
on Frank’s latest incident.