Anthony Dirk Ray

Rye Whiskey and Pork Jowl Pizza

your wife asks you to put
a bullet in her head

normally this would be
taken as a joke but
recently she has been in
immense pain and is in
no joking mood whatsoever
trust me I know
I don’t even get a smile
when I speak of Asian
hookers or dog dick
I know it’s serious then

I feel pure guilt enjoying
this ten dollar cigar
and rye whiskey
while she aches and moans
in bed well before bedtime

I’ve gotten her water
rubbed her back
and put a heating pad
on her as requested
but I still feel empty
as if I’m incapable of helping

I am making a pork
jowl cauliflower crust pizza
I put the crust on for the initial bake
I try a sample of the cut up jowl
the dog stares at me
I take out a chewed piece
for him to sample as well
he devours it and continues
licking the patio pavement
where it landed
now the fucker won’t leave
me alone and go to bed
with his ailing mother
as a dog he’s a mama’s boy
lays on her legs at night
I have to move him constantly
he also gets up out of bed
every time she rises

here lately with the disease
this has been constant
with multiple trips to the bathroom

as my cigar now burns down
I refill my glass of rye
I’ve become a fan of rye recently
a competitor to my usual bourbon

sometimes more spice is nice
my wife needs to feel
some spice right now

more than I do

as I relight this nub
I am hating myself for enjoying life

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