In The Mirror
I’d only been there for a few minutes working on my first beer when she came over and thrust her finger into my face.
Hey she said. I thought I told you last time you were in here not to come back again.
I grinned at her. Oh I said. I just thought that meant you couldn’t live without me.
A look of disgust swept across her face. You’re a piece of shit she said.
I laughed. Hell I told her. Tell me something I don’t know. I grabbed the back of her head and pulled her beautiful face right up next to mine. I kissed her hard on the mouth and when I let her go she slapped me across the face. Another drink for this lady I yelled at the bartender.
I touched my cheek. It felt hot. In the mirror behind the bar I saw what I looked like. I opened my mouth and stuck out my tongue. I knew I looked crazy but I didn’t care. I picked up the glass in front of me and drained the rest of my beer.
When I was finished I banged the empty glass down on the table and shouted at the bartender. Another beer, barkeep and keep them coming.
While I waited for the next beer this scrawny guy with a shaved head came up and tapped me on the shoulder. He looked like a cancer patient who was losing the fight. What’s the big idea? He said to me. Kissing my woman like that?
The waitress came by and slipped another beer in front of me. She did it so quickly I didn’t have time to thank her.
Your woman? I said to the scrawny guy with the shaved head. Really? How much did you have to pay her? I heard laughter from somewhere behind me. I raised my glass to them before bringing it to my lips and draining half the beer.
The scrawny guy with the shaved head just glared at me then he turned and walked away.
Hey buddy I said. You better strap a two by four on your ass the next time you fuck her. I yelled it loud enough so the whole bar could hear. In the mirror behind the bar I saw the woman and the scrawny guy with the shaved head having a lively discussion. She looked angry and he wasn’t very happy.
You can’t win, fucker I thought to myself. Then I laughed and drank some more beer.
Out of the corner of my eye I saw her coming at me again. When she got close I quickly turned and faced her.
I said Yeeesss? Then I laughed again. I could tell she was furious with me. Her whole body shook and I really liked the way it made her tits bounce.
Why you gotta say things like that to my man? She screamed. She balled up her fist and punched me in the arm.
Your man? I said. Is that what that was?
She punched me again and all I could do was laugh.
You know I said. You’re really beautiful when you’re angry.
She leaned her face a little closer to me. Well she said. I think you’re absolutely revolting.
Then she turned her whole body like she was doing a scene from some B-grade movie and stomped back to her seat. In the mirror behind the bar I saw the different faces and they all looked the same to me. I finished the rest of my beer and called for another one.
It was early on a Tuesday but I could already tell it was going to be a good night.