Johnny Scarlotti

Blue Whale

it was our third date
i was confident i was going to get laid
everything was going great then
we went skinny dipping into the ocean and…
well…
we encountered a 105-foot blue whale
the biggest fucking creature on earth today
and i yelled at her
“STAY AWAY!”
but she was mesmerized
she swam up to it
“STOP IT!” “GET BACK!” i yelled
she started petting it
“NO, DON’T!”
“OH MY GOD!” she squealed
“IT’S SO BEAUTIFUL!”
and
well
she was petting it and hugging it
and all of the sudden a 12-foot-long,
1,000-pound penis jutted out
the biggest penis on earth
it attacked her
gored her, fucked her
into a million little pieces
amongst 40 pints of ejaculate
then it turned on me but
i was a safe distance away
and i made it to shore without a problem
the ocean is fucked
i’m never going in there again

One thought on “Johnny Scarlotti

  1. Well, that certainly caught me by surprise. I was with her in the enjoyment until your rival did her in. Funny ‘e wasn’t particular since ‘e turned on you next. What a lovely nightmare. My la!

    Liked by 1 person

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