Leah Mueller

Warning to Literary Posers

Be careful when you try
to publish your poetry
and be on social media
at the same time. Eventually,
every indie writer in
the herd of literary oddballs
will send you a friend request.

For a while you’ll feel important
when they publish your work
on their Weebly sites.

Suddenly, one of them
will get pissed off
at the other, for being uncool,
or for having different politics,
or for being insensitive
or for a host of other
trumped-up reasons.

(Yes, I said “trumped-up.” Fight me).

They will tear into each other
like rabid weasels, and
it will have nothing to do with you.

One of them will decide
it’s your fault too, since you’re on
the other person’s friend list.
They’ll block you on Twitter,
and you can forget about ever
submitting to their shitty magazine again.

No one bothered to tell you
what the argument was about.

Mind you, these are sensitive folks
who write poetry,
people too blind to know
who the real enemy is.

It’s not me, motherfuckers,
I’m 60 years old and have been
out of high school for 40 years.
You sniveling little tattooed poser
with an MFA in your back pocket,
you don’t even know what pain is.

Perhaps you shouldn’t be so careful.

HSTQ: Spring 2019

HSTQ Spring 2019

horror, adj.
inspiring or creating loathing, aversion, etc.

sleaze, adj.
contemptibly low, mean, or disreputable

trash, n.
literary or artistic material of poor or inferior quality

Welcome to HSTQ: Spring 2019, the curated collection from Horror, Sleaze and Trash!

Featuring poetry by Angelica Arsan, Dave Newman, Tohm Bakelas, Meeah Williams, A. Theist, Gary D. Morton, Irvin Lee , Casey Renee Kiser, J.J. Campbell, David Boski, Megan Alyse, Omar Alexandre, Ingrid M. Calderon-Collins, Mela Blust, John D. Robinson, Winter Zakalwe, Ben Arzate, Robert Ragan, and John Grochalski.

Kindly PayPal 5 USD to arthur.graham.pub@gmail.com,
or download the FREE ebook instead!

John Grochalski

jed and ethel

jed and ethel
sleep on a bench
across the sidewalk from
the big supermarket
they sleep while people
complain about cantaloupes
and the cost of pineapple
jed and ethel
have been living on the streets
in the neighborhood
for about two or three years now
right around the time
we were told the economy
was back and full swing
jed and ethel obviously never got the memo
they sleep on the bench
while people walk by
holding wine bags and gourmet vegan wraps
jed wears a green hat
from a nintendo game character
and a free t-shirt from the new hipster coffee shop
who gave it to him
for their ironic idea of free advertising
ethel wears her winter coat
in all kinds of weather
she’s usually pretty quiet
but sometimes she sits on the bench
and screams at the people
complaining about cantaloupes
and the cost of pineapple
sometimes she says to the people
carrying wine bags and gourmet vegan wraps
hey, but do you have a dollar for me?
jed’s still able to sleep
when ethel goes on like this
he’s put up with way more than shouting
sometimes jed and ethel smoke pot
with another guy, maximillian
they sit at the bus stop a block away from the bench
and get stoned
as people walk by carrying lackluster cantaloupes
and over-priced pineapples
complaining about the smell of the marijuana
and saying to themselves
well, if they have money to do that
then why are they living on the street?
as if getting
the occasional life-numbing high from a third party
is the equivalent of them
somehow shunning the rest of us
here in boot strap america
but people like to say dumb shit like that
because they are afraid of homelessness
they see themselves in jed and ethel’s eyes
deep down
they know it isn’t all cantaloupes and pineapples
and wine bags and gourmet vegan wraps
or maybe they are just judgmental assholes
and jed and ethel
are just props
to boost up their own self-esteem
their own sense of value and self-worth as citizens
road signs to prove that we aren’t all random cogs
in an unforgiving capitalist mouse wheel
to be honest
jed and ethel aren’t even their real names
i have no clue who they are
where they came from
why they chose this neighborhood
if they’re married or just shackled together this way
jed and ethel are just names
that i came up with
about a year ago
when i was walking down the street
on some lazy summer sunday afternoon
swinging my bag from the wine store
passing them sleeping on that bench
on my way to the supermarket
for some fresh fruit
a cold six pack of beer
and one of their kick-ass
gourmet vegan wraps.

David Sprehe

Pudding

Fluids secreted. Blood pooled beneath the moistened tissue. Warm turned hot with the pressure. Skull bugs quivered the waveform nuance. Translated proper tremble. Only these chemical geometric skull bug ejaculates emulate the sputter notation. We are nothing, if not instruments. I don’t know if I or died. All I knew was white hot wet slithering. I licked its drip. No breath. Soul forced into small Robot hole. My tits turned jelly. Flesh pudding slopped into the sheet. Tickled my armpits, almost a come in itself. His skin poured over my front. Mixed in all gloppy and stank. My immune system ate. My whole exposure was a tongue. I could taste his soggy flesh at a million points. I uh I started hallucinating (god lord them tingles! I sparked so much I turded). I stabbed a fork into my clit. I was spread out on the kitchen counter bleeding, rubbing whipped cream all over. I puked, but it was really him collapsing. Our bodies fused. I didn’t want to. He was dead. Psychologically speaking, a hollow nothing, even when alive. I was just out to get banged and have a good time, get bullshit off my mind. Took me a freakin’ week to eat his stupid carcass. I had to be careful because if I absorbed to quickly, and mutation occurred, it would probably be cancerous. The dude was a real PTSD, methhead piece of fucking shit. Definition of junk food. I doubt any part was useable. Except, of course, his wiener. I preserved his penis. A simple modification of the secreting chemicals in the uterine wall will create protective placenta for any object within the womb. This can be perfected through careful practice. Simply take a sanitized, smooth object and push it up the vagina while thinking of the object as a baby. After becoming convinced that the object within the womb is a child, proceed to gently coax it out. Soon beautiful feeling will fill the pleasant existence. If placenta is not ejected after the object has exited, please try again. This is an important gift God has bestowed. I jerk off with his dick inside my womb. Honestly, it is better than the sex. I was thinking, maybe, to see if it can combine with my eggs. I’ll turn it into a pet I can fuck or something. A little dick dog. I don’t know. If anything, I’ll eat it too. Dick on the cob. I want my teeth in the shaft. Tear the flesh. Chew the sucker. I want to swallow. The dick should keep for a year or so before it gets all sick and gross. Besides, I like the little bump it makes. I pretend I’m pregnant. I want to get pregnant just to play with myself. Not really. I want kids. Maybe. No I don’t. But I will masturbate while -IF- I get pregnant. A lot. Swollen dripping tits and moon bellies make me giddy. I watch preggo porn on my phone. Makes my toes twiddle.

Charles Austin Muir

Jim Morrison Library Poem

Inspired by “People Are Strange”

No one knows my name here.
I come here several times a week
and the only recognition I get
is from a card scanner.

As always,
the guy at the circulation desk
scowls at his monitor
as if I haven’t just walked in.
He gets the same treatment from me
even though I like his
Naked Lunch T-shirt.

I pull my CD from the hold shelf.

I enter the empty meeting room.

The doors of perception
are so clean here
that the doorway has no door anymore
and the library’s bustling floor
appears to me as it truly is:
A house of solipsistic quests,
catalogued and controlled.

I suppose it’s my hold item
that’s got me thinking about doors:
Strange Days, by The Doors.

Here’s strange in three steps.
One: Look outside
and make sure no wide-eyed
children are in sight.
Two: Open backpack.
Three: Pull out Fleshlight.

Clear. Check. Check.

Good God… I can’t believe
I’m going to put my penis
in this thing.
It’s so grandiose and sci-fi-looking.

Woooooo doggie.
The toothy squeezings
of the Fleshlight Destroya
grind me down to nubs
of ecstasy.
The synthetic sex mouth
loves me two times
and I would go for three
but for the town council meeting
that’s supposed to start.

The Fleshlight Destroya
is aptly named.
I am destroyed.

Destroyed and…
still unobserved.

Apparently
I can’t even disturb anyone
getting off
with a gadget that looks
like a planet eater
in a Star Trek episode.
Maybe I should try
the Autoblow 2 tomorrow—
from what I saw in a video
it sounds like a giant robot
with asthma.

Let’s push this
Lizard King of the Library
act as far as it will go.

Afterglow.

My legs shake.
I pump them down
the central aisle.
They take me by
the book return window.
I’m drawn to something I’ve never
noticed on the other side of it:
Desks and carpeting.

And right in front of me
at crotch height,
the guy in the Naked Lunch T-shirt
is sorting media in a basket truck.
What the fuck!
He’s noticed me.
Or rather—my groin area.
And in my euphoria
I realize that despite my
failed attempt to provoke
I still wear the chain
of conformity.

I still subscribe
to the library’s
seclusive program.

But how many walls
do we really need
to police our patronage?
Must we be complete strangers?
Aren’t we strange enough already?
The clerk with his elbows in a pile
of CDs and DVDs and me
with my concealed
penis swallower, the two of us
posing as if responsible use
of lending materials is all
that matters?

The rules are so ingrained in him
he reaches for my hold item
which I haven’t even checked out
yet. His hand hovers in the window
like an American prayer
that doesn’t care if it’s answered.
And in my post-orgasmic high,
I think…

why deny him.

Here you go, Naked Lunch Man.
Here is my Doors CD.
But before I hand it over
you will do something for me.
You will break the chain.
You will touch my fingertips
on the cracked jewel case
and I will trace your toils
down your oily thumb.
No one will think
we’re being impractical.
No one will notice.

There. It’s yours. Thank you,
Naked Lunch Man.
It was a pleasure to mind meld
with your fingers.
To scan your phalangeal
barcode.
For a moment we transformed
this slotted node into a bridge
between flesh and purpose,
intimate yet still contained,
the library equivalent
of a glory hole.

I’ll be back tomorrow
(with the Autoblow 2).
But in the hours between
I’ll think about you
as I make my way through
the rain and uneven streets
of this town that wants
to devour us both.

Come to think of it,
you should get a
Fleshlight,
Naked Lunch Man.
The Destroya’s teeth
may open your mind’s
doors
to a world you’ve
never seen
before.

Judge Santiago Burdon

Buenas Madrugada (Greeting To Dawn)

She just looks at me with these big charcoal eyes and doesn’t say a fucking word. She’s got a beer in one hand and a joint in the other and she’s sweating like a whore in church. The motel room has the AC cranked . It’s so cold you could hang meat. She stands there naked, paralyzed with fear. There’s another Angel of the Night passed out naked on the bed. The knocking at the door continues. It’s not the typical Cop knock. In the United States, Colombia and Mexico the policia golpea con fuerza (knock with force), but I’m in Perez Zeledon, San Isidro, Costa Rica, and the knock is soft and unassuming.

I begin to laugh at the bizarre spectacle taking place. The knock is now accompanied by a male voice.

Este es el guardia de seguridad. Responder.”

Just the security guard. I got this, I tell myself.

Voy,” I yell

The panic stricken girl takes refuge in the bathroom locking the door.

I answer the uninvited visitor with a cheerful “buenas” after opening the door.

Señor, hemos tenido una queja sobre el ruido (we’ve had a complaint about noise).”

Who would complain about too much noise. I hear music , loud talking and laughter leaking out  from other rooms. The sounds flooding the predawn darkness with acoustic precipitation ,but I make a sincere effort to handle this situation without confrontation.

“Yes no problem. I’m sorry for the disturbance,” I say in Spanish.

“And a question.  Is it possible you could give me a beer?” he asks.

“Of course, no problem.”

I grab a cold cerveza and hand it to him.

“Anything else, sir?” I ask.

“If you have a cigarette I would like that very much.”

I give him a couple of smokes, he shakes my hand and nods his head in a grateful manner.

“Good night or morning,” I say with a laugh.

So the reason for his visit wasn’t about the noise. It was purely a search to satisfy his vices. Gotta love the Ticos, constant quest for immediate self gratification and without ever saying por favor or gracias.

I knock on the bathroom door.

Andrea todo bien mi amor. Era sólo el guardia que sólo quería una cerveza. Abre la puerta, nena,” I beg of her.

I hear the lock click and I  turn the knob but she has blocked the door with wet towels. I push with force and it gives way. I see her cowering in the shower, shaking with a terrified expression.

“Baby, what’s going on with you? No more coca porti. Come on, Diosa, get outta there. Take an Oxaforte,” I offer, “it’ll make you feel better.”

Bigotes soy muy high,” she whispers.

Yo se bebe. Ya venga conmigo. Quien te cuido? (Come with me. Who takes care of you),” I ask.

I have known Andrea for 5 years. She stole my heart first time I spent a night and fifty dollars with her. It was Quepos, Costa Rica on the Pacific Coast when her cousin Diana  introduced us. Sometimes there’s this connection, a fire, an electricity between two souls. And there was truth in her flame no doubt in her spark. Unfortunately, it always becomes convoluted and gets messy, the sheets, the libretto,  the emotions and living.

“I had her trapped between my skin and my soul.” Mana.

She stands still holding the beer and joint then hugs me not out of affection but with the emotion of a child seeking security.

“You’re safe baby. You trust me, right?” I say.

Si papi siempre contigo,” she answers.

I carry her to the bed and take the unlit joint from her hand but she refuses to relinquish the warm half  can of beer.

Yaneth, my other companion and friend of Andrea’s, wakes then heads to the bathroom.

Que hora es Bigotes? Es madrugada?” she yells from the doorway.

Si yo creo casi. Y ser tranquilo que sólo tenía el guardia de seguridad aquí. No aumente la música así que...”

And just as I ask her to be quiet and not play the music loudly, she cranks up the volume on the TV and the music screams. She begins dancing and it’s difficult to stop the sexual display. Naked, with a body that would make men beg for just one chance to touch her gossamer skin. She’s fucking gorgeous and every move defines sensuality with refinement.

I give Andrea an Oxaforte and an Ambiene to take the edge off. She swallows the pills with a hit of beer and gives me a tender kiss.

Adelante, sé que la quieres. voy a ver,” (go with her I will watch) she says.

“It’s ok? Just me and Yaneth without you?” I ask.

You need to understand that there’s an etiquette or code of conduct when dealing with prostitutes, especially Ticas. A special client or boyfriend such as I am to Andrea is considered property or a possession. It’s a depraved twisted relationship where the doctrine only applies to my actions and doesn’t take her’s into consideration.

Andrea is a working girl and can fuck anyone she chooses for of course a price. Which is on a sliding scale depending how much she likes the client. If I fuck someone else (especially a friend of hers), that is a violation of the terms to the supposed agreement.

I was involved with a Tica off and on in a Liaison de Amor for a couple of years sometime ago. Veronica was a working girl that considered my involvement with another woman as a betrayal.

“If I fuck other women you say I am cheating on you. But how is it ok for you to fuck other men and I am suppose to accept your behavior?” I asked. “If you fuck other people then I fuck others too.”

“NO! You fuck other women to have pleasure.” came her retort. “To have an orgasm and pay them for that. Sex with others for me is work and not for pleasure.”

Of course I never believed  for a moment that she never enjoyed her work.

I just don’t subscribe to that type of logic. And so ended that relationship. However, I discovered that school of thought was a widely practiced rule by many.

Yaneth continues to dance, rubbing her breasts against my face, placing my hand between her legs.

“VENGA BIGOTES FUCK ME!” she implores.

Andrea pushes me towards Yaneth. She sways gracefully to the music.

Un chino porfa BEBE!” Yaneth asks.

Now a chino for you rookies is, yes, the word for a Chinese person in Spanish. However, in street lingo, it also identifies a cigarette minus some tobacco with cocaine added in. It’s a pleasant high which I prefer over smoking crack. Crack instantly takes me to a level of euphoria that makes it impossible to function socially.

I comply with her request and twist up a monster, removing the filter and inserting a small piece back in its place. I look at Andrea and she appears relaxed, having opened another beer. I can’t believe she’s still awake.

She smiles and extends her hand for me to pass her the chino.

“I don’t think so baby,” I say. “A half-hour ago you were freaking out. Wait a while and pass on this one, ok?”

Then it happens. A Tica displeased with being told what she can and cannot participate in by a man is  considered disrespectful.  She objects with a display of anger that would make a weaker man tremble in terror.

“Who are you to tell me no! You’re not my fucking husband or my father. You can’t tell me what to do!” she screams.

I immediately hand her the chino and strike a flame with the lighter. She inhales then passes it to Yaneth. She takes a hit and passes it back to Andrea, completely bypassing me.

“Hey, what’s going on here? What about the Gringo? Are ya gonna share?” I protest.

They both start laughing and hand the chino to me. Yaneth starts kissing Andrea and pulls down the sheet, uncovering her goddess-like naked body.

Now we’re back to the original game plan, I think to myself. I take a short hit and pass it back to Andrea, and she blows me a kiss.

Te amo Bigotes. (I love you Mr. Mustache),” Andrea sings.

Just at this moment in time, it can all change in the flutter of a butterfly’s wings.

Yo tengo tu amor. (I got your love.) Yo tengo tu amor. Yo tengo tu love.”

The song serenades us from the music video on the TV. Who said the darkest hour is always just before the dawn? They were so far off course.

Buenas madrugada,” I say.

Hope there are no more interruptions.

John Patrick Robbins

Hell Is Writing

I sat there bored and hung-over.

I sat there and I had no fucking clue why.

The little coffee shop was filled with other poets or in all truth yuppies that called themselves writers.

Social assholes whom thought reading their work aloud made it good.

It was terrible enough sober, but add a gut ravaged by a night of heavy drinking and it was dam near torture.

I was there due to a friend’s request.

I seldom read for people,

My work was either love or hate with the reader but usually I didn’t have to experience this first hand.

I herd some people whispering behind me.

“Hey who’s that guy?”

“He new or something?”

“That’s the guy I told you about he never comes to these things.”

“Got a few things published here and there total asshole from what I’ve herd.”

“How’s his writing?”

“Oh I never read him, he’s too much into drinking and antics like I said he’s a real asshole.”

I herd the woman repeat this to the guy beside her.
It was funny how my reputation as a prick seemed to follow me everywhere.

Some woman with a nose ring and flat ass took the stage if you could even call it that.

“I’m going to read you a haiku.”

I threw up in my mouth held it in.

My stomach was really kicking my ass today.

I got up walked outside I never wasted my time with crap.

I wasn’t saying the woman was a bad writer I just hated neat nice shit.

I loved the flawed things in life.

I sat outside lit a cigarette sat down on a bench watched the cars pass.

It was far more original than the stuffy room filled with judgmental moody bastards all needing their egos stroked.

“Jack is everything okay?”

Sheryl was looking down at me her face shown the concern she new I was about two steps from the nearest bar.

And already over the coffee shop shark tank.

“Yeah feeling like shit is all, Had to get some air sweetheart.”

“I was scared you were going to leave before you read for us.”

“I know how uncomfortable it is for you at these things.”

“Yeah, not my scene.”

“So why did you come to begin with?”

“You asked me to.”

“Yes but you really don’t seem very interested in the other poets.”

“Cause I’m not.”

“Why some are very promising?”

“They’re shit and their work has no life.”

“It’s just the same boring fucking thing over and over.”

“And what makes you so much better?”

“Cause I don’t care what they think, and my work is many things it’s but never boring.”

“Even when it’s shit least it can only be mine.”

Cheryl laughed.

“You’re such a prick! I think that’s what draws me to you.”

“Yeah, I can be a charming bastard on occasion. Wanna ditch this party, go have some drinks?”

“I can’t, I’m hosting, and you still haven’t read yet.”

“Yeah, I don’t think they will mind.”

“Come on and cut the crap, Jack. Just go in there and be you, relax. Besides, we can go have a drink afterwards.”

Against my better judgment, I went back in.
It was time to face the hangman so to speak.

They called my name and suddenly I was facing the crowd.

“Look, before I start, I want to say hello to a certain someone in the back. I’ve heard I’m an asshole, thank you for such kind words.”

I read my poems and some were pretty damn good, but I never let them see me.

The page does my speaking for me.