Leah Mueller

Warning to Literary Posers

Be careful when you try
to publish your poetry
and be on social media
at the same time. Eventually,
every indie writer in
the herd of literary oddballs
will send you a friend request.

For a while you’ll feel important
when they publish your work
on their Weebly sites.

Suddenly, one of them
will get pissed off
at the other, for being uncool,
or for having different politics,
or for being insensitive
or for a host of other
trumped-up reasons.

(Yes, I said “trumped-up.” Fight me).

They will tear into each other
like rabid weasels, and
it will have nothing to do with you.

One of them will decide
it’s your fault too, since you’re on
the other person’s friend list.
They’ll block you on Twitter,
and you can forget about ever
submitting to their shitty magazine again.

No one bothered to tell you
what the argument was about.

Mind you, these are sensitive folks
who write poetry,
people too blind to know
who the real enemy is.

It’s not me, motherfuckers,
I’m 60 years old and have been
out of high school for 40 years.
You sniveling little tattooed poser
with an MFA in your back pocket,
you don’t even know what pain is.

Perhaps you shouldn’t be so careful.