The Way to a Woman’s Heart?
A barfly with a purple nose and bloodshot eyes
once told me that he had never paid a woman
to have sex with him, though he did ply plenty
of women he fancied with endless gin and tonics.
He spent his income to ensure a pleasant outcome.
Ogden Nash pointed out that candy is dandy,
but liquor is quicker when breaking the ice.
Dorothy Parker explained that vice is nice
and then borrowed Nash’s “liquor is quicker”.
When I was a young man in France years ago,
I was told by gigolos, those in the know,
that while absence makes the heart grow fonder,
it’s absinthe that makes the tart grow fonder.
