T. H. Rose

Two Stops ‘til Daylight

Jeremy stands at the edge of the yellow ‘Do Not Cross’ line listening to the rattling metallic screech echo in the tunnel. He shuffles backward and looks beyond the platform watching the lights come closer until the train roars past. It shrieks to a halt. Two tones reverberate off the subterranean walls followed by an electronic voice.

“Doors opening.”

Like an ocean tide, the passengers flow in and out of the train car. Jeremy steps through the sliding doors and the voice chimes once more.

“Doors closing.”

The train lurches forward immediately. Jeremy sighs after catching himself on a rubber handhold that hangs from the ceiling. He looks around the car thinking about the strangers he recognizes on his morning commute. He nods to the familiar faces he makes eye contact with, occasionally getting a greeting in return. More often than not, Jeremy is ignored. They are too caught up in their morning routines and sleepy stupor. Like the middle-aged gentleman juggling a thermos, a newspaper, and his cellphone, or the large woman with thinning brown hair and fading dye who chews her breakfast louder than the train runs.

Jeremy glances out of the window at the bleak tunnel walls. He thinks of the other sleepy faces around him. The occasional light bulb whirring past and distracting him from both the familiar and unfamiliar.

He reminds himself beneath his breath. “Two stops ‘til daylight.”

The train’s professional voice sounds off once more, cutting though the uncomfortable morning silence. “Approaching Clarke and Division. Next stop: North and Clybourne.”

A Sikh man bounces onto the train offering all who meet his gaze with a bright smile. After another exchange of passengers, the train surges forward once more. Jeremy closes his eyes after returning a smile and reminds himself.

“One stop ‘til daylight.”

Jeremy forces a low, airy laugh. He finds humor in a wandering thought regarding his morning ritual. It reminds him of turning on the light in a dark room. He closes his eyes to prepare for the onslaught of sudden illumination. The light shines through his closed eyelids. His pupils adjust. Jeremy feels silly. He had already walked through the morning light to get to the train station. The train itself has several fluorescents lighting up the cars. What makes the sun’s light different? Is it the reflective magnification off the city windows? Jeremy plays with different reasons, but none feel like a proper answer.

He shrugs his thoughts away and continues to observe his fellow commuters. He wonders how the pink haired woman with the side cut and dark lipstick reads her novel while squeezed between the loud chewer and a smartly dressed but dazed looking businessman.

The train stops and its voice informs, “This is North and Clybourne. Exit through the doors on the right. Fullerton is next.”

The doors thud open, and the car becomes emptier. The businessman rushes out pushing past a homeless man as he enters. The vagrant looks at Jeremy and smiles. Some of his teeth are missing but his eyes are bright.

“G’ morning, Jeremy, my boy!” 

Jeremy returns a smile. “Good morning, Hughie.”

“Doors closing.” The train launches and repeats itself. “Fullerton is next. Transfer to the purple and brown lines at Fullertron.”

Hughie points to his eyes. “Daylight’s a-comin’! Better close dem eyes before the sun burns ‘em out!” He chuckles and turns away to find his way to the back of the train car.

Jeremy smiles at Hughie. He closes his eyes still wondering what he shields them from. The sudden shift in light? Is it a simple game he plays with himself? Is he thinking too much about a completely normal thing?

The train rattles and screeches. Jeremy sways with the train car, lightly correcting himself with the plastic handhold hanging from the ceiling. The sun’s warmth is sudden and even through his closed eyes, he winces. There is both pleasure in the sun’s warmth and discomfort in his eyes as his pupils adjust. The sound of the train no longer echoes; it makes him feel as though the train is floating away like an object released into space.

The train slows, and the momentum makes him swing forward. The train’s automated voice calls out. “This is Fullerton. Switch to the brown and purple lines at Fullerton.”

Jeremy sighs and the doors crank open. He can feel the bodies shift in and out like the air in his lungs. The sunlight shines through the skin and blood making a find crimson beneath his eyelids. The train calls out to the passengers. “Doors closing. Next stop: Belmont. Switch to brown and purple lines at Belmont.” The doors close rapidly, and the train lurches forward.

Jeremy’s eyes flutter open. He blinks at the rising glass buildings reflecting the sunlight. He looks over the familiar commuter faces and notes that Hughie is gone. There is one new face with olive skin and curly black hair. She is looking at her phone wearing a smile that shines with more light than the sun itself. Her eyes are hazel trimmed with golden flakes. She is radiant. She is a flashbang grenade stealing Jeremy’s sight and sucking the oxygen from his chest. Everything feels like that picture perfect movie moment. Two people see each other. Time slows down. Love at first sight.

Jeremy watches her for a moment. Wondering if it is appropriate to move over and talk to her. He decides against it. Who would want someone hitting on them at six-thirty in the morning? He averts his gaze outside and is taken aback by the sight.

Three birds, a robin and two finches, are frozen in mid-flight next to the window. The train is no longer moving. Nothing is moving. The trees outside are frozen in their dance with the wind. The vehicles and pedestrians on the streets and sidewalks all paused in their movements.

Jeremy looks at all the passengers in the train car. The middle-aged man’s thermos is falling from his hands. The liquid spills over the side, while his phone seems like it’s levitating away. There is a woman holding her phone to her face. Her mouth contorted in the middle of the conversation that she was having. 

“No. This can’t be happening. What is even happening?” Jeremy regurgitates the skepticism. He slides to the spilling thermos. He takes it from the man frozen in time and flips the thermos upside down. 

Nothing falls out.

He releases the container.

It does not fall.

Jeremy screams at the man’s face. No reaction. He pinches the man’s arm. No reaction. Jeremy pinches his own arm thinking of the classic trope that you can wake yourself from a nightmare with a little pain. His fingernails slice his skin. Nothing happens.

“I’m not asleep.” The words drip from his lips. Shocked tears fall from his wide-open eyes.

He lets fear take him like the high tide waiting to breathe calmly. When the fear subsides like the low tide, he looks at her. How the sunlight is fixed on her motionless frame. Her brilliant beaming is comforting and intoxicating. It makes him feel safe.

Jeremy blinks hard as if it will reset his malfunctioning brain. His thoughts race. He must be asleep. Perhaps, he is stuck in a bout of sleep paralysis on the train. Yes! He thinks to himself. That must be it! He sits and leans back in the seat growing lightheaded. The edge of his vision becomes static, tunneling into the center. Jeremy tries to control his breathing. He opens his eyes, and he immediately looks at her. 

“Is it you?” He whispers to himself, looking at her hair like black fire in the morning light. He shakes his head. “No. That doesn’t make sense.” Jeremy tries to tear his eyes away, but his gaze is pulled back. He shuts his eyes hard, stands, and turns away from her.

He looks at the floating coffee, like a liquid in space. He dabs his finger in it and licks it. A thought crosses his mind, and he grabs his phone from his pocket. Jeremy clicks the lock button, and the screen remains dark. He sighs and looks at his reflection. The man stuck in time gently tosses the phone upward, expecting it to stay suspended like the coffee. It falls to the floor shattering the screen. He sighs again. 

“How long?” He wonders out loud. “How long will it be this way?”

***

Jeremy’s stomach growls painfully. He scratches his long, grey beard then sniffs the grime that burrows beneath his fingernails. His nose scrunches. Jeremy lifts his fingers to his eyes. 

“Time doesn’t exist.” His voice wavers. He cannot tell if he is thinking the words or saying them. “This is proof. I am proof. Dinosaurs. Did time exist then? Maybe. Maybe. Maybe. Maybe. The asteroid. Did it end time? Or did it begin time? Begin. Yes. Because I knew time. Before this. Before the train. The train. It is my asteroid. This train is the asteroid that broke time.” Jeremy’s sunken bloodshot eyes flick toward the radiant woman. She looks like a religious statue carved from the most precious material. “Or is it you? Maybe. Perhaps. Mayhaps.” He hums thoughtfully laying his head down on a pile of clothes he gathered from the other commuters. 

“No. No. No! Wrong! Maybe time is not broken! This is limbo! Purgatory! My damning punishment! If punishment, then this must be hell!”

Jeremy laughs. Hysterical hot tears clean the dirt from his wrinkled face.

He stops and leaps up onto all fours. The birds. He crawls over to the window and presses his face against it. “Maybe this train went off the rails. This is the moment before I died. I am stuck here. Yes. YES! I did not believe in God or any religion! The universe doesn’t know what to do with me! So, I am here! Suspended in time! Yes!” He bares his yellow rotting teeth.

Jeremy’s attention snaps to the coffee man. He grabs the rubber handholds and pulls himself to the man. He crouches lowering himself to be eye-level with the man.

“What do you think, Stefan?” He cocks his head waiting for an answer.

Jeremy nods in agreement. “Yes. I understand. We don’t speak enough for you to want to answer. I apologized for that incident. I just wanted to know your name! The others didn’t mind that I looked at their IDs! It felt improper to call you Thermos Guy! Still, I think I know what you would say. You would agree with me.” Jeremy stands tall and turns to all the other commuters. “You all would agree with me!”

Jeremy sees the man’s phone in his breast pocket. He had not noticed it before. He falls onto his knees and inches forward. His fingers grab it carefully. Jeremy’s stomach drops at the sight of his reflection. His skin is wrinkled and covered in liver spots. His eyes are desperate beads in sunken sockets. His hair is long, thin, and greasy. His beard is unruly and reaches down to his belly button.

“I am my own demon.” He snarls at himself, horrified further by his decaying teeth and infected gums. He throws the phone to the side and looks at her radiance. His voice croaks with lucidity. “I am slipping! I’ve felt it for so long now. How long have I been this way? Have I always been this way? You are my only constant, yet I do not know your name.” He gestures to Stefan and the other commuters. “They have all told me their names. I-I learned what I could about my neighbors. I’ve grown to love them. They are my friends. They’ve brought me solace in this time!” 

He almost loses this sudden clarity when he says time. A smile cracks onto his face then slips away.

Jeremy grabs two metal poles and reels himself closer to the radiant. “I’ve refrained from learning about you. I stopped myself. I don’t want to disrespect you. I don’t want to invade your privacy.” His lips curl into a frustrated sneer. “We could be friends! Like Stefan and I! He shares his coffee with me! Imagine what we could share! Imagine the conversation! I need to know your name! I need to know who you are!” Spittle sprays from his mouth. He breathes rapidly and steps forward hesitating as his hand reaches for the purse hanging from her arm. He reaches in and feels until he grabs a wallet. Relief floods his veins as he pulls it out. 

The train rattles and screeches as it brakes. The sudden shift in momentum throws Jeremy down. He lands on his back. Shocked faces and voices stare at him. They plug their noses, while he grasps the radiant woman’s wallet. His chest is tight with confusion.

“What the hell is wrong with you!” The radiant woman comes into view and snatches her wallet back. 

Everything, everyone is loud now. All his friends are yelling at him. They are forcing him off the train. He stumbles off. He falls and the pavement cuts his palms and knees. Jeremy feels so weak, like the life has been drained from him. He hears the train chime and announce its next stop.

Jeremy looks at the train car. All his timeless friends stare at him. They look confused, but he did not care about them. His eyes are on her. She is smiling at him!

Jeremy smiles back. Despite that he cannot breathe. Despite the pulsating pain in his chest. That smile is enough to give him energy to fight back the pain and difficulty breathing. He stands. He descends the stairs and exits the train station. Turning into an alley, he sits against a brick wall. He looks at himself in a puddle. Old. Withered. Laughing. The energy fades. The pain returns. His breathing is difficult once again.

Jeremy’s eyes close, and he thinks of her radiance. He smiles weakly ignoring the discomfort.

His voice is hoarse. “She is warmer than the sun.” A final breath croaks outward, as if squeezed from a rusted tin can.