Walt Shulits

Lady Breezy

Show some respect for the late Lady Breezy
Despite intimations she lived her life sleazy
And men forever fantasised her easy-
That they could do whatever they please-y.

Born into circumstance utterly glum,
Deserted by father, disowned by her mum,
Thoroughly alone, she refused to succumb,
Determined to prove that she was not scum.

Not yet adult but more woman than child,
Needing boundaries but from society exiled,
An elegant gentleman with a kind smile—
Breezy was beguiled and soon after defiled.

Now awakened by adolescent stain,
Aware of the power in her body and brain,
Sensing no limits to what she could attain,
She began to plot her lifelong campaign.

First, for a rich man in age very senior
She took work as a cook and a cleaner.
As in Pygmalion, he refined her demeanour
Assuming in bed the right to demean her.

Next came the case of the portly barrister
Who ostensibly courted but clearly harassed her.
In return for caressing her skin alabaster,
He wrote a letter to the uni headmaster.

To study law then specialise in divorce
Was completely logical given her life’s course.
In court she proved an unstoppable force,
To cheating husbands she showed no remorse.

Fame and fortune arrived Godspeed
Providing the means for pursuing her creed:
Brandishing sword on galloping steed,
Protectress of women and children in need.

Serving her gender was not about charity,
Having herself suffered barbarity.
Men cringed at her ruthless temerity:
A woman with power- a frightening rarity.

Still she yearned for a man she could trust
With humility, intelligence, and feelings robust,
Guided by more than a soulless lust,
Delving beyond her legs and her bust.

Finally she met that special someone,
Her long crusade apparently won.
Once again her world came undone
When he fathered a bastard son.

At this point, certainly no surprise,
She vowed vengeance on masculine lies.
Seductively flirting and flashing her thighs,
Breezy lured men to painful demise.

No longer rational, mentally sick,
She contrived a technique both crafty and quick:
Puckering her lips and feigning to lick,
Meanwhile her handgun blasted his prick.

Fourteen crimes left an easy trail-
Breezy was sentenced to lifetime in jail.
Defeated and shattered with no chance to prevail,
She died in two months, thus ending her tale.

So pay your respects to the late Lady Breezy.
Being a woman has never been easy.
Men, if her tale has rendered you queasy,
Learn to show respect, never act sleazy.