Careful What You Wish For
Jeffrey woke to the magnificent sounds of angelic birds. The sounds of the heavens, and all that hover above, filled his ears. The ability to open his eyes right away was hindered by the bombardment of brilliant and bright facets of light. Once able to finally peer at his surroundings, he realized that he had awakened in a beautiful, enchanted forest. What he saw overwhelmed his being. Colors he never knew existed were visible. They entered his field of vision and danced around. Clouds that were usually drab and dreary were bright, fluffy, and almost neon in appearance. Plants and trees gave off a color that was seemingly off the spectrum of green. A gleaming, lively green, unimaginable even in the most creative of minds. Feelings of warmth and contentment overtook him. Jeffrey felt as if he was getting a warm hug from Mother Earth herself. He looked around and observed a multitude of flying and crawling creatures he couldn’t quite identify. Each one seemed to be smiling cheerfully at Jeffrey, as if they were welcoming him to this new land.
How he ended up in this mystical, magical environment was unknown to him, but he wasn’t questioning that at this moment. Jeffrey was intrigued and in awe of what surrounded him. The tree stump that he was leaning against felt as if it was a pillow filled with the softest of down, as did the forest floor where he sat.
As Jeffrey continued surveying the landscape around him, he caught movement out of the corner of his eye. He quickly turned to see a small man darting quickly from tree to tree. Jeffrey thought that he was fast, in fact, too fast to be a normal person. As the little man reached the closest tree to Jeffrey, he emerged with an abrupt hop, and startled him.
“Ayy! I am Lornforth,” he shouted at Jeffrey. “I am ruler of this forest. Don’t let my small stature fool you big one, for I am mighty as they come. All of the creatures you see do my bidding, and they will do as I say. How have you arrived in my forest?”
Jeffrey was taken back by the size and confident nature of the little man, and also didn’t exactly know how to answer the question that was posed to him.
“I don’t really know. I just woke up here.”
The little man shook his head in acknowledgment, as if he knew exactly what had happened.
“Yes. It’s the elders of Wrathmoth. They send big normals to my forest to test me. They’ve indeed done this before. I always prove myself, but they still insist on trying my magic every step of the way. See, I am going for lead elf in the committee of the Golderson Faction, and the elders don’t think that I have what it takes. So they send you dumb, no offense, big normals here to evaluate my abilities.”
Jeffrey didn’t know how to respond. He just stared at the little man, still in a tremendous state of confusion.
“So you are a magic elf?”
The little man, now seemingly frustrated, as his body language showed, spoke in an aggressive tone.
“Yes! Did you not hear anything that I just said. I don’t have time for this. Just tell me your three wishes and be on your way.”
Jeffrey was as dumbfounded as ever.
“Three wishes? I thought that was just storybook shit.”
The little man was now getting extremely agitated.
“No. It’s real. I’m real. You are here, and I will grant you three wishes of your choosing.”
The little man rolled his eyes condescendingly and continued under his breath with disdain.
“If it pleases the cock sucking elders.”
Jeffrey was befuddled at the little man and the claims that he made, but also knew that the land that he awakened in was far from normal. The little man glared at him with impatience. Jeffrey thought, what’s the worst that could happen, as he closed his eyes and spoke his first wish.
“I wish I could have sex with a beautiful woman.”
The little man shook his head in disgust, as if he expected Jeffrey to say that.
“Soooooo original. Your wish be granted.”
Jeffrey opened his eyes to find a naked woman in front of him. She embodied everything that he considered sexy. She knelt in front of Jeffrey and gave him amazing oral pleasure, before turning around and accepting all of him. It seemed as if she knew exactly what turned him on with every sensual, fluid movement. Jeffrey couldn’t hold back any longer. He exploded with all of his being into the fairy of seduction. Before he could collect himself fully, the little man appeared again, as anxious as ever.
“Okay, you’ve got your rocks off big one. Now, what’s your next wish? Let me guess, money?”
Jeffrey looked at the little man with wide-eyed disbelief.
“I do wish for a bag full of money. How did you know?”
“Oh, just a hunch with your kind. Your wish be granted.”
Jeffrey closed his eyes and awaited the bag full of money. At the same time, he was pondering his third wish. Jeffrey realized that he may be thinking way too small. For his third, he thought, he’ll wish to be an executive at a huge corporation. He figured that if he was the big boss, he could have all the sex and money that he could ever want. Jeffrey knew that his third wish could be the one that would truly change his whole future. He had the rest of his life planned out in his head at that very moment. He was ready to make his final, life changing wish.
When Jeffrey opened his eyes, he wasn’t holding a bag full of money. He was clutching a cum-filled condom, with a little person in front of him pulling up his pants.
“What the fuck is going on?” Jeffrey angrily asked.
“Ayy! You back with us?” said the little man, as he finished buttoning his pants.
“Back with us? And who the fuck are you,” Jeffrey questioned, pissed, oblivious, and stupefied.
“They call me midget Tony. A bunch of us were partying at Phillip’s, and I overheard you say that you wished that you could try the new research chemical T3O-CME. So we did, and ended up out here behind Phillip’s shed. Good stuff heh? Some say it’s magical.”