Jon Bennett

Spongemaster 

I’d rather lick the dog crap 
off your shoe 
than wait in line for brunch 
I’d savor it, too, 
the pulverized bits of chicken bone 
the re-digested cat poop 
knowing I’ve avoided 
that line around the block! 
But, as a busboy, 
I have a unique perspective 
I’m also a foodie 
but instead of pancakes 
I’m a connoisseur of the bodega watermelon 
I spend all my extra money on them 
“Better not be mushy!!!” 
“Claro! New crop today!” 
They puzzle over me, 
the man in dirty chef pants 
spending $100s on melons 
(My secret is to forego toilet paper 
How? I use a sponge instead, 
I rinse it twice, trés francais!) 
In my tiny hotel room 
I’ll cleave one down the middle 
and devour its very heart 
the juice dribbling down my chin 
I love a good liquor store watermelon 
and I love there is never  
a line to get one, 
no cackling, selfie taking 
waffle wafflers, “I’ll do 
the million dollar bacon!” 
Though that’s not to say 
I don’t take my job seriously 
I’m an excellent busboy 
if I do say so myself 
“Look at him!” they gush,  
“the work ethic!!! Why, 
he even brings 
his own sponge!”