Sex Life of Birds (abridged)
Setting: A forest glen
Scene: Two robins sitting in a tree
Robin number one: Sing me a song.
Robin number two: Quack.
Robin number one: You’re fucking another bird.
Robin number two (terse): We’re not geese.
Number one: Mother was right.
Number two: The best part of your mother is now in an Eddie Bauer down vest.
Number one (hopeless): I don’t know what you ever saw in me.
Number two: You got the cutest cloaca.
Number one: Really?
Number two: You put the breast in red-breasted robin.
Number one (swoons): I’m gettin’ a hormone surge.
(They DO IT.)
Number one: That was fast. Even for you.
Number two (irritated): Performance pressure. All those other birds watching.
Number one: They’re forming a line. . . . Thanks for stopping by. Good luck!
Number two: That’s it?
Number one: Remember, we’re not geese.