Daniel S. Irwin


Playing the Actor

Playing the actor,
I once tried Shakespeare.
That amounted to
Throwing myself to the
Elizabethan wolves.
Monty Python, it was not.
I guess they understood
That crap way back when
They chugged ale and wine
And pissed in the Thames.
Oh, right, they still do that.
For myself, I’m more of an
“Intercourse the parrot”
Kind of guy.  Clearly a
Product of our times.
Italian opera could have
Been my forte.  But, I
Don’t sing all that well and
My Italian is doubly severely
Limited to random syllables.
Which invariably causes the
Rest of the cast to turn and
Stare daggers at me when
I open my mouth…but,
Happily, most of the audience
Doesn’t speak Italian either
And just assumes I’m the
Bad guy everyone hates.
Somehow, I managed two
Performances before being
Cast out with very colorful,
Seemingly angry words,
Which, of course, I didn’t
Understand.  It was the
Accompanying gestures that  
Made my expulsion acutely clear.
That much Italian, io capisco.

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