Lip Gloss and Laxatives
I got caught shoplifting lip gloss
and laxatives yesterday.
I pleaded with the judge
that I was too embarrassed
to pay for those items
at the register in front
of everyone, but she shook
her head, gave me sixty hours
of community service down
at the county homeless shelter.
I don’t mind too much, though,
at least there’ll be nobody there
I’ll feel like kissing, and I know
I can help myself to a big bowl
of the bean soup I’ll be ladling out
which will solve my other problem, too.