Short History of Bad Relationships
Caught head lice in Mexico
from my younger brother.
My mother recommended
pet shampoo, but it didn’t work.
We took a trip to the ocean:
me riding shotgun, and
my siblings in the back seat.
For two weeks, I pulled bugs
from my scalp, flicked
them out the car window
into the highway. My sister helped.
We were nitpicking.
Going through everything
With a fine-toothed comb.
Had one-night stand in Isla Mujeres
with a drunk frat boy from Texas.
I hope he caught my head lice.
We never spoke again,
so I never found out for sure.
A hurricane hit the island,
and I contracted dysentery.
I lay in my hotel bed, moaning
as the gales roared outside.
Back home in Chicago,
I gave my boyfriend head lice.
I didn’t tell him about
the asshole from Texas.
My boyfriend was the jealous type
and prone to sudden violence.
He had to get a Kwell prescription
filled at the corner drugstore.
Later that morning I stood in the shower,
washed parasites from my scalp,
and watched nits swirl into the drain.
I didn’t think about the future,
just the eradication of pests.
