HARD 2GET huffs up my neck, sharp
as the knife of the scribe who scrawledon the wall of Gomorrah, which he
smuggled to Avignon for Pope John
XXII (so smooth he could’ve
had him, in sissified Buddha-arm
sleeves), then headed to Southern
California to meet sex-addicted
hookers and their clients at the Lost
Oasis where he must’ve got his
knuckles tattooed like that.
“I’ll make you squirm like a
pig on the grill,” he said. Like a
girl on the pill, you heard—as much as
you’d like to have gone back in time,
just to say you won.
After-dinner swig. Krack. The bloody
edge of a black eye. You never knew
what you would learn, what you
must decide upon.
Your tears smell salty on his breath,
and his foul taste from the last over-
lubricated orgy will make
you cry even more. “I’ll take you
to the beach, where the brown sea and thrashed
sands’ll remind you of your insatiability.”
He says something to you about tanning
beds and cancer. You can’t concentrate.
Everything comes back to you: sprawling
naked on a barstool with your heart
hammering on your bladder as you tried
to remember what you’d been
researching at the library.
“…you want it in your fat beautiful
mouth before I put it in your fat ugly
broken heart? I’ll knock that whoreface out
of you with the force of a yellow firehose.
You’re fucked, now and forever. And if you ever
see me again, you’ll know exactly why. No
more advertising—it’s fucking time.
You’re gonna have to suck the
foaming top off of mine.”
On and on he went, little chains of
explosions and gallons and gallons of
concentrated fillips. When you’re fucking
that high, you can’t take pleasure in
just pleasure. You want to…you want…
to punish yourself. So you give
yourself to his manic jabber.
“You gotta give it all
to me. It’ll feel too good
to be true. But it will.
You don’t know much, but you
know that. A hooded creature with
keel-like teeth has taken your
heart away. Yeah—I can feel your
nova vigor ebbing. I see all your
wounds. You don’t know
who you are.”
It’s too much. The cracks in your
timeline start forming all over again.
Shadows strain to give birth to
the unknown in front of you from