Robert Cooperman

Thomas Bickerstaff Buys Girl Scout Cookies Outside the Wild Weed Dispensary: Denver

“The Girl Scouts of Colorado have decided it’s now cool to peddle their baked goods outside marijuana dispensaries.”—The Denver Post

It’s about time, 
but they’re thinking too small,
like, well, like little girls,
and not a man with big ideas.

If it were me, and it will be,
they’d be selling all kinds 
of munchies, not just cookies, 
but brownies, marinara sauce,
and all of it laced with pot,
plus T-shirts, posters 
of pop stars in Scout uniforms, 
a button or two undone, 
to show some creamy ta-ta’s 
to appeal to stoners, 
who get so crazy on a few tokes 
they need instant gratification.

I almost feel like tossing away
the lid I just bought—or wait, 
selling it to one of these parents 
too tightly wrapped to sneak 
into the Wild Weed 
while their kids flog cookies—
to concentrate, instead, 
on creating a company name, 
logo, a marketing strategy,
and to find suppliers, designers, 
seamstresses, to make tchotchkes 
to my specifications. 

Free enterprise! Capitalism!
Selling everything to everybody!
What makes this country great!

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