Judge Santiago Burdon

Buenas Madrugada (Greeting To Dawn)

She just looks at me with these big charcoal eyes and doesn’t say a fucking word. She’s got a beer in one hand and a joint in the other and she’s sweating like a whore in church. The motel room has the AC cranked . It’s so cold you could hang meat. She stands there naked, paralyzed with fear. There’s another Angel of the Night passed out naked on the bed. The knocking at the door continues. It’s not the typical Cop knock. In the United States, Colombia and Mexico the policia golpea con fuerza (knock with force), but I’m in Perez Zeledon, San Isidro, Costa Rica, and the knock is soft and unassuming.

I begin to laugh at the bizarre spectacle taking place. The knock is now accompanied by a male voice.

Este es el guardia de seguridad. Responder.”

Just the security guard. I got this, I tell myself.

Voy,” I yell

The panic stricken girl takes refuge in the bathroom locking the door.

I answer the uninvited visitor with a cheerful “buenas” after opening the door.

Señor, hemos tenido una queja sobre el ruido (we’ve had a complaint about noise).”

Who would complain about too much noise. I hear music , loud talking and laughter leaking out  from other rooms. The sounds flooding the predawn darkness with acoustic precipitation ,but I make a sincere effort to handle this situation without confrontation.

“Yes no problem. I’m sorry for the disturbance,” I say in Spanish.

“And a question.  Is it possible you could give me a beer?” he asks.

“Of course, no problem.”

I grab a cold cerveza and hand it to him.

“Anything else, sir?” I ask.

“If you have a cigarette I would like that very much.”

I give him a couple of smokes, he shakes my hand and nods his head in a grateful manner.

“Good night or morning,” I say with a laugh.

So the reason for his visit wasn’t about the noise. It was purely a search to satisfy his vices. Gotta love the Ticos, constant quest for immediate self gratification and without ever saying por favor or gracias.

I knock on the bathroom door.

Andrea todo bien mi amor. Era sólo el guardia que sólo quería una cerveza. Abre la puerta, nena,” I beg of her.

I hear the lock click and I  turn the knob but she has blocked the door with wet towels. I push with force and it gives way. I see her cowering in the shower, shaking with a terrified expression.

“Baby, what’s going on with you? No more coca porti. Come on, Diosa, get outta there. Take an Oxaforte,” I offer, “it’ll make you feel better.”

Bigotes soy muy high,” she whispers.

Yo se bebe. Ya venga conmigo. Quien te cuido? (Come with me. Who takes care of you),” I ask.

I have known Andrea for 5 years. She stole my heart first time I spent a night and fifty dollars with her. It was Quepos, Costa Rica on the Pacific Coast when her cousin Diana  introduced us. Sometimes there’s this connection, a fire, an electricity between two souls. And there was truth in her flame no doubt in her spark. Unfortunately, it always becomes convoluted and gets messy, the sheets, the libretto,  the emotions and living.

“I had her trapped between my skin and my soul.” Mana.

She stands still holding the beer and joint then hugs me not out of affection but with the emotion of a child seeking security.

“You’re safe baby. You trust me, right?” I say.

Si papi siempre contigo,” she answers.

I carry her to the bed and take the unlit joint from her hand but she refuses to relinquish the warm half  can of beer.

Yaneth, my other companion and friend of Andrea’s, wakes then heads to the bathroom.

Que hora es Bigotes? Es madrugada?” she yells from the doorway.

Si yo creo casi. Y ser tranquilo que sólo tenía el guardia de seguridad aquí. No aumente la música así que...”

And just as I ask her to be quiet and not play the music loudly, she cranks up the volume on the TV and the music screams. She begins dancing and it’s difficult to stop the sexual display. Naked, with a body that would make men beg for just one chance to touch her gossamer skin. She’s fucking gorgeous and every move defines sensuality with refinement.

I give Andrea an Oxaforte and an Ambiene to take the edge off. She swallows the pills with a hit of beer and gives me a tender kiss.

Adelante, sé que la quieres. voy a ver,” (go with her I will watch) she says.

“It’s ok? Just me and Yaneth without you?” I ask.

You need to understand that there’s an etiquette or code of conduct when dealing with prostitutes, especially Ticas. A special client or boyfriend such as I am to Andrea is considered property or a possession. It’s a depraved twisted relationship where the doctrine only applies to my actions and doesn’t take her’s into consideration.

Andrea is a working girl and can fuck anyone she chooses for of course a price. Which is on a sliding scale depending how much she likes the client. If I fuck someone else (especially a friend of hers), that is a violation of the terms to the supposed agreement.

I was involved with a Tica off and on in a Liaison de Amor for a couple of years sometime ago. Veronica was a working girl that considered my involvement with another woman as a betrayal.

“If I fuck other women you say I am cheating on you. But how is it ok for you to fuck other men and I am suppose to accept your behavior?” I asked. “If you fuck other people then I fuck others too.”

“NO! You fuck other women to have pleasure.” came her retort. “To have an orgasm and pay them for that. Sex with others for me is work and not for pleasure.”

Of course I never believed  for a moment that she never enjoyed her work.

I just don’t subscribe to that type of logic. And so ended that relationship. However, I discovered that school of thought was a widely practiced rule by many.

Yaneth continues to dance, rubbing her breasts against my face, placing my hand between her legs.

“VENGA BIGOTES FUCK ME!” she implores.

Andrea pushes me towards Yaneth. She sways gracefully to the music.

Un chino porfa BEBE!” Yaneth asks.

Now a chino for you rookies is, yes, the word for a Chinese person in Spanish. However, in street lingo, it also identifies a cigarette minus some tobacco with cocaine added in. It’s a pleasant high which I prefer over smoking crack. Crack instantly takes me to a level of euphoria that makes it impossible to function socially.

I comply with her request and twist up a monster, removing the filter and inserting a small piece back in its place. I look at Andrea and she appears relaxed, having opened another beer. I can’t believe she’s still awake.

She smiles and extends her hand for me to pass her the chino.

“I don’t think so baby,” I say. “A half-hour ago you were freaking out. Wait a while and pass on this one, ok?”

Then it happens. A Tica displeased with being told what she can and cannot participate in by a man is  considered disrespectful.  She objects with a display of anger that would make a weaker man tremble in terror.

“Who are you to tell me no! You’re not my fucking husband or my father. You can’t tell me what to do!” she screams.

I immediately hand her the chino and strike a flame with the lighter. She inhales then passes it to Yaneth. She takes a hit and passes it back to Andrea, completely bypassing me.

“Hey, what’s going on here? What about the Gringo? Are ya gonna share?” I protest.

They both start laughing and hand the chino to me. Yaneth starts kissing Andrea and pulls down the sheet, uncovering her goddess-like naked body.

Now we’re back to the original game plan, I think to myself. I take a short hit and pass it back to Andrea, and she blows me a kiss.

Te amo Bigotes. (I love you Mr. Mustache),” Andrea sings.

Just at this moment in time, it can all change in the flutter of a butterfly’s wings.

Yo tengo tu amor. (I got your love.) Yo tengo tu amor. Yo tengo tu love.”

The song serenades us from the music video on the TV. Who said the darkest hour is always just before the dawn? They were so far off course.

Buenas madrugada,” I say.

Hope there are no more interruptions.

John Patrick Robbins

Hell Is Writing

I sat there bored and hung-over.

I sat there and I had no fucking clue why.

The little coffee shop was filled with other poets or in all truth yuppies that called themselves writers.

Social assholes whom thought reading their work aloud made it good.

It was terrible enough sober, but add a gut ravaged by a night of heavy drinking and it was dam near torture.

I was there due to a friend’s request.

I seldom read for people,

My work was either love or hate with the reader but usually I didn’t have to experience this first hand.

I herd some people whispering behind me.

“Hey who’s that guy?”

“He new or something?”

“That’s the guy I told you about he never comes to these things.”

“Got a few things published here and there total asshole from what I’ve herd.”

“How’s his writing?”

“Oh I never read him, he’s too much into drinking and antics like I said he’s a real asshole.”

I herd the woman repeat this to the guy beside her.
It was funny how my reputation as a prick seemed to follow me everywhere.

Some woman with a nose ring and flat ass took the stage if you could even call it that.

“I’m going to read you a haiku.”

I threw up in my mouth held it in.

My stomach was really kicking my ass today.

I got up walked outside I never wasted my time with crap.

I wasn’t saying the woman was a bad writer I just hated neat nice shit.

I loved the flawed things in life.

I sat outside lit a cigarette sat down on a bench watched the cars pass.

It was far more original than the stuffy room filled with judgmental moody bastards all needing their egos stroked.

“Jack is everything okay?”

Sheryl was looking down at me her face shown the concern she new I was about two steps from the nearest bar.

And already over the coffee shop shark tank.

“Yeah feeling like shit is all, Had to get some air sweetheart.”

“I was scared you were going to leave before you read for us.”

“I know how uncomfortable it is for you at these things.”

“Yeah, not my scene.”

“So why did you come to begin with?”

“You asked me to.”

“Yes but you really don’t seem very interested in the other poets.”

“Cause I’m not.”

“Why some are very promising?”

“They’re shit and their work has no life.”

“It’s just the same boring fucking thing over and over.”

“And what makes you so much better?”

“Cause I don’t care what they think, and my work is many things it’s but never boring.”

“Even when it’s shit least it can only be mine.”

Cheryl laughed.

“You’re such a prick! I think that’s what draws me to you.”

“Yeah, I can be a charming bastard on occasion. Wanna ditch this party, go have some drinks?”

“I can’t, I’m hosting, and you still haven’t read yet.”

“Yeah, I don’t think they will mind.”

“Come on and cut the crap, Jack. Just go in there and be you, relax. Besides, we can go have a drink afterwards.”

Against my better judgment, I went back in.
It was time to face the hangman so to speak.

They called my name and suddenly I was facing the crowd.

“Look, before I start, I want to say hello to a certain someone in the back. I’ve heard I’m an asshole, thank you for such kind words.”

I read my poems and some were pretty damn good, but I never let them see me.

The page does my speaking for me.

The Son’s Shadow, by Ben John Smith

TSS_cover

The Son’s Shadow
Ben John Smith

I haven’t attempted to write sober before
and I have my doubts on whether it will work
or not.

I try and
It doesn’t.

I write terrible poems;

but I always have
to be fair.

Ben John Smith is BACK and better than ever! Tackling themes of illness, depression, fatherhood, and sobriety, “The Son’s Shadow” marks the long-awaited new release from HST’s oldest friend and founding editor.

DOWNLOAD IT HERE

Lee Kirk

Such Unholy Shapes

All three of us had our hands outstretched touching the cold spot and then it happened. The acid kicked in, widening my eyes like breakfast plates.

‘Look Kev, this is going too fast for me. You obviously know what your doing but I’m sorry this is freaking me out.’ I say, pulling the plum-red robe hood back.

‘What do you mean? Are you not game? We have come so far. We have made a break-through!’

‘Aye to what though? We don’t know what this cold spot really is.’

‘He’s right,’ says Matthew, lightning another cigarette, pulling the hood of his robe back, revealing a stubbled, pock-marked face.

Kev shouts ‘Your both breaking the intent! Leave your robes as they are. Can you not smoke please?’

Matthew inhales longer on it, then blows out a plume.

Kev pulls his robe hood back. His eyes magnified through the lens of his glasses. The left lens is blood-smeared.

He repeats ‘Matthew can you not smoke when we are trying to make contact!’

The acid had its grip on Matthew, you can see a menace work behind his eyes.

He says ‘Should it not be warm and inviting this celestial realm? Ouija boards are full of shit. I believe you spoke to someone Kev, but we have been misguided… Look! over there at all that death. All we get is a cold spot?’

I think we should stop I said shaking my head at Matthew.

Kev just looks at both of us.

I say ‘Look man, I’m feeling this trip. I need to lie down now.’

‘It’s not for lying down, I got us the acid to focus on the intent. That was the point of the chant,’ says Kev.

Earlier Matthew and I followed Kev’s voice with the chant notations. It was simple, more like a mantra. We did this for three hours.

The sacrifices were hard. It had to be personal or otherwise the ritual would fail. I went first and picked my dog Eerie, Matthew chose his Mum and Kev his ex-boyfriend.

‘To the new life!’ I said as I dropped a boulder from shoulder height right on Eerie’s head. Red mush poured out his mouth all over the wild garlic stemmed next to the glen.

Matt got his Mum during housekeeping, said her screams were muffled by the Dyson 40000 model but she saw him in the reflection of the half-moon mirror.

Kev’s kill was Marcus, his ex-slut boyfriend who gave him chlamydia. Marcus had a black bin bag pulled over his head while the hammer smacked all around until it softened.

Anyway. We, were stationed at the entrance to the communal living room. My words were coming out slurred. I didn’t even understand them anymore. I left the chalk circle. Walked past the sacrificial bodies lying head to toe starshaped. I fell on the couch with many-sized cushions, exhausted. Drained. Empty.

‘I love you both,’ Kev shouts ‘But, you need to understand what we are doing is very real. When it opens you will understand and witness its almighty glory!’

The muted television glows behind him. The static frost crackles silently illuminating the white walls with a majestic spectral glow.

Kev loses his balance, knocking the pyramid stacked empty beer-cans onto the floor, beer dribbles onto the ouija-board fashioned from old bathroom tiles. Kev reaches for his rucksack, pulling out a Polaroid camera. The acid has him now. I just lay there between the cushions, staring at the cold spot. Something terrible is coming from that spot, in the form of geometries? then a white flash before my eyes.

CLICK!

I turn to the flash and see Kev pointing the polaroid at the cold spot.

‘Kev man, can you not take any photos of me in this state,’ says Matthew with a furious sneer.

‘It is my duty to archive this moment. It’s content for the website!’

CLICK!

‘I told you to stop that’ said Matthew, pushing Kev.

‘Matt calm down, I’m ju…’

‘I TOLD YOU, DON’T TAKE ANY FUCKEN PICTURES!’

I see the geometries meld into a little black hole that silently grows into a huge 8-foot oval shape behind Matthew, just as he moves forward punching Kev twice in the face, Kev cups his nose, screams and lunges at Matthew pulling him down while smacking with his left fist into the side of Matthew’s face. They both roll back and forth on the ground, punching savagely into each other.

Something sifts within the infinite depth of the oval, a long black thin arm stretches from the hole.

Reaching over the hand touches Kev’s back as rolls on top Matthew. He raises his left fist to strike again. The portal disappears. The television switches off as Kev’s eyes turn red.

He looks down at Matthew. Strikes down with the left, grabbing the jugular, white-knuckled, squeezing all his fingers deep inside making loud tearing sounds. Matthew’s gagging drowns out the flesh sounds as blood shoots out in all directions; over me, over the bodies, the walls and the carpet.

I pull myself up from the couch, swaying with psychedelic intoxication. I fall back on the cushions.

Kev’s red eyes stare towards me as he rises.

‘TO THE NEW LIFE.’

He walks towards me.

I should probably scream but I don’t know how to.

K.W. Peery

Six Twisted Hours

From
the ravaged
caned seat
of this ole
tiger oak
rockin’ chair
I pour
three more
fat fingers
of single barrel
and listen
to Leon
tickle those
ivories
on Queen
of the
Roller Derby

I guess
this is
the best
I’m willin’
to get
since the
Tuesday blues
have already
saturated my
frontal lobe
and there’s
at least
six twisted
hours
of day
drinkin’ left
before the
next fuckin’
thunderstorm
finds me

Fire On The Mountain, by Doug Draime

FOTM by Doug Draime

Holy&intoxicated Publications is proud to present its latest chapbook,
‘Fire On The Mountain’, by the late great legendary Doug Draime.

Print run of only 50 copies:
30 copies available from dougdraime.com
($5:00 plus p&p)
20 copies available from johndrobinson@yahoo.co.uk
(£5:00 plus p&p)

 Available May 1st, 2019

Many thanks to John D. Robinson for publishing this chap. It is a testament to Doug’s timeless spirit that lives on in his poetry to have this published three plus years after his death. Going through the collection was a journey for Aaron and I, some of which brought tears to our eyes and a heaviness of heart. A Flower For You On Savage Creek Road was the first poem I read by Doug. It appeared in a local paper and I thought at the time, how sweet to be loved like that! I remember hoping someday a man will write poetry for me. Lori was Aaron and Shawn’s mother. She passed away in 2003 and Aaron and Shawn did not see this poem until I gave it to them after Doug’s death. Doug shared a lot about his writing with me and I  edited much of his work over the years. That being said, some of the selections are new and some have been published. I hope you enjoy reading and rereading these selections.

— Carol Draime

Brief Perversions, by Jesse Koenig

BP by Jess Koenig

90 pages
Burdock Press

Brief Perversions is a collection of flash fiction and prose poetry. The title of the collection reflects the brevity of the individual pieces and the various twists they often take. On a broader level, the title also reflects the collection’s theme of life as a brief perversion, as a short and twisted journey.

Many of the pieces engage with pop culture in various ways—alluding to and quoting celebrities, songs, poems, novels, textbooks, commercial products, cereal boxes, etc. In addition, many pieces call into question aspects of western culture (our treatment of the elderly, the emphasis on physical attractiveness, the reality vs. the fairy-tale of love, male-dominated politics, and much more), hopefully without moralizing. That is, the collection, ideally, is a philosophical conversation about what society values and what many of us consider normal.

BUY A COPY HERE