Michael D. Goscinski

yoga

for years
i laughed at the yoga people
the weird contortions
rapid breathing
clothing
foam bricks
monotone instruction videos
and mats
all to feel better and relieve stress
but that all changed one day
in the walk-in closet

i swear this was the longest
period any woman
had ever had
one for the record books
the lack of sex
driving me insane
i couldn’t take it anymore
i attacked her in the closet
fortunately
she grabbed a rolled-up yoga mat
for us to fuck on

what we did in there
could best be described
as team yoga for nudists
with positions such as
the doggy, the plough, and cum cobra
when we finished
i noticed the puddles of fresh blood
on the now speckled yoga mat
and realized it had worked
i was now relaxed, free of stress,
and anxiously awaiting my next
yoga session

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