Johnny Scarlotti


i drive off road
until i come across a flat wasteland
hundred degrees in AZ
no water
on E
no phone
there’s no going back
i smile
this’ll do
no humans in sight
might take a while to find me
which is alright
i imagine myself in a couple of months
being a dried out husk
maybe some vultures will pick me to the bones
i finger the barrel of my gun
then i see a bird in the distance
a big colorful bird
what the fuck is that
i aim my gun at it
i look through the scope
i think it’s a toucan
what the fuck is a toucan doing in Arizona
it sees me
and starts flying towards me
it must have escaped captivity
maybe a zoo
maybe a person’s house
it’s making distressed croaking noises
it flies down to me and sits on my shoulder
it’s all fucked up looking
like me
it rubs its beak on my cheek
i pet it
it cries
i cry
it’s OK
i’ll help you big guy

it’s alright
I’ll help you



2 thoughts on “Johnny Scarlotti

  1. You were NOT supposed to make me laugh with such an ending, you were NOT. However, I can’t even squelch the smirk which refuses to leave my face, the alleged friendly hand of Death too perfectly offered under such circumstances, when here I was expecting you to change your attitude. I declare! If this is on HP I’m gonna hafta put it in the “You Make Me Laugh” collection.

    Liked by 1 person

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