Ezhno Martin

victimless slime

In case you were wondering
(and I’m sure more than a few are)

if you want to pound your pussy
with the backside of your hairbrush
and moan my name
or maybe grow your bush out
so you can tether paper-mache
effigies of Ezhno
to you sweetest spotI’m more than ok with that
No need to feel ashamed
if you find yourself
grinding and gushing on pillowcases

you’ve duct taped high-gloss photos
of my face on
or writing my name on your vibrator
so you can watch Ezhno
slip inside you
Everybody likes to have a little sexy time with themselves
and it’s no one’s fault
so many people are dreaming of me
while they are doing it
including evidently
you
So remember
I’m a gracious goo fairy
I don’t leave so little to the imagination
by any mistake
I take great joy
provoking puddles in your sheets
maybe I even get off sometimes
thinking about all that victimless slime
that’s being made about me
so I make a little of myown
why would I stifle fantasies
just because it isn’t meant to be in reality?I mean
can you imagine
actually sleeping with everyone you’d ever thought about naked?

That’s ludicrous
ludicrous like
the thought of Joesph Stalin personally strangling
35 million Russians because he couldn’t stand the thought
of anyone else getting to do the deed
But
I like boobies
and big fat white asses
my computer
and multiple external hard drives
comprise the chubby chasers pornographic Library of Congress

and in my exhaustive search
I have probably seen you naked
or at least I like to pretend
so there is no shame
in cum fresh squeezed to fantasies of strange
we all have a spank bank
overflowing with people we never mean to bang
So slap it beat it twist it buzz it bang it yank it
taste your sweet slime afterwards
and pretend it’s been mixed with my pimp juice
because when you are alone
anything goes
and it doesn’t do me any harm
if in that sick head of yours
I’m being held down
while you and seventeen of your closest friends
take turns pegging me
while dressed like Rainbow-Bright PegasusesYou make that Pearl Jam

And don’t worry about it being awkward

when you see me in public
I do it too
I’m a chronic dreamer
so I’ve probably done it thinking of you

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