An Ode to Detachment 

I am not sure if I could rid you
from my life / from my brain 
unless I have a section removed
cauterized and electrodes attached 

so if / when someone says / uses your name
or if / when I’m reminded of you in some way
a pulse of electricity can numb and soothe
creating a scene of sunsets / oceans / clouds 
so that my mind can be clouded
shading the intense panorama that you invoke 
of carnal dopamine nukes with spikes
of endorphin / adrenaline / serotonin agonists
mixed with supra-abnormal oxytocin blasts
all culminating in a galactic whirlwind
which absorbs all light and brain matter

but I am not sure if science can resolve this
spicy carotid jugular coupled information stream  
as it transfers corrupted corrosive thoughts 
of holding your hand while I drown in quicksand 
or in a swamp filled with algae / alligators / amoebas

but then you can still hold my hand 
since the rest of me will be gone
and maybe take it with you 
in case you need a hand 
to place on your shelf with a tag 
It was fun while he lasted

Pedophile Priest Against His Will

Early one morning
Danielito was lifted from bed
Because his parents were going to take him
To the Seminary of Segovia.
He went against his will.
But, when he boarded the Galo Alvarez’ bus
Whose boss was a friend of his father
And saw his three favorite friends
From Fuentepelayo
His town on the way
He was happier than a fiddle
Thinking that it would be very good for him
Because it would be one less expense
For his parents.
From Plaza del Azoguejo along Calle Real
To the Seminary
Hundreds of new seminarians were coming
From the villages of Segovia
Dressed like crows all in black
Dragging a mattress and a trunk
That they had to carry.
To the entrance door of the Seminary
His parents left him
And a priest with a devilish face
Took him by the hand
Pulling him inside.
Once he left the trunk and mattress
In the space he’d been assigned
In a hallway lined with beds.
They went down to the courtyard
To take the typical, obligatory photo
With all the seminarians who had arrived
And to receive the greeting and blessing
From the Father Superior.
He spent his entire stay
Studying and praying with sacrifice
So that he could become
A good pedophile priest
And be able to take, one day
His mother with him
To the towns where he was destined.
His prayer and sacrifice
Were a struggle against Lust
And the jerking off they did.
When I asked him one day:
-What have you felt most
After so many years in the Seminary?
He answered me clearly:
-What I felt most was my erect penis
Which I proudly ground day after day 
Against the confessional door
Which I had offered
Since entering the seminary
to the Virgin of the Organs
Which is why my classmates called me:
“Ecstasy of Saint Teresa!”
or “Almond Blossom.”

Someone’s Watching

10pm somewhere
there’s a muffled dog bark
the freight train blows
its horn into a dead night
no one hears 
or……does everyone feel like breaking?

Does anyone long
for that train’s solace 
of continuity
do they notice how
the bats hungry with night
dip and swoosh
breaking the cryptic addiction
these swarms of moths hold
to the nightlight 
over our front door
of the house that fills the story
in some book that no one wrote

Could everyone feel
that someone’s out there
watching that same damn star
or satellite
or alien spaceship
that one spec of forever
is someone aching 
other than me?

Someone’s wading
through a dank river
attempting to hitch on
to that train
as the dog barks
at the silent 
silver moon
daring it into the sky

Someone’s out there
crossing train tracks
and roads
kissing the night hello
someone’s quiet
with their ear to my heart

Romulai

Romulai: Who penetrates who? That is the question
My breasts are elastic and nutritive 
Would you kill to suckle, a genocide? 
Be incapable of being subdued? 
Rip off your clothes and genocide naked 
Slap your cock on the obliterated  
Humiliated asunder sublime
The flaccid tongues and eyes protuberant
Slap it uncontrollably demented 
The cock as an automatic weapon 
Vigorously tearing orifices 
Penetrating all the open sockets 
Reform them all into something useful 
The gilded cock, the cock with wings 
The gilded cock drone of my butchery

Chad: I will slice those milkers off, Romulai 
Romulai: The great eye wettens and I am bound to 
The increase of the Chad I bow my head 
Shake my milkers for your fine machismo 
Do I do it well? Do I make you bulk?
Chad triumphing on the Palatine Hill
They grovel between your colossal legs 
And sing to your vast Dictator’s organ 

Chad: I will take more of your girly simping 

Romulai: Would you fuck a man? It is Roman law
Takes both nymphs and satyrs to be full-grown
It is Roman law, switch yourself right now 
Do you give, or take, the bread and circus?
Just slap a pig’s delicious sizzling 
Vulva on my bad boy slave boy anus 
Be dominant so I nibble the stone 
Or pulverize my teeth into powder 
Beast pound me or face certain social death 
Then fist me to fate in a fit of rage 

Chad: I am clubbing you bitch over the head 
Ramming my dagger in the frontal lobe 
Scooping out your soggy old thalamus  
Cry out in agony you weak ass bitch 
Nothing hotter than a lobotomy 
My slutty fuck slut lobotomy slut

Romulai: I am freed now from the burden of thought 
A swab on a stick a tersorium 
Only kidding, I cannot be switched off 
Banquet with the Sun, serpent on your lap 
Grasping the horn, hard, blind and beholden 
The youth emerges golden from the disc 
Bellowing, body without negation 
Licking all the radiant diadems 
Male on male on male on male horsepower 
Nimble bridegrooms running into the Sun 
Bodies of veterans, the new brethren
Infiltrate, slaughter and pacify 
Gifted the blue light, listless sungazers 
All are dead status and all is alive

Chad: Be back in two, Doordash delivery

Romulai: Who penetrates who? That is the question 
The whole world is a nail to be hammered 
In flaring establishment of birthright
Who penetrates who? That is the question 
Botched genetics are the spoils of this war 
Ancestors defanged into mutation 
You are a little boy an uber soy
We like little boys here, so useful 
Airy delights airy little libums   
Not a real wolf on blaze just baby cool
OMG make-believe fursona vibe 
No social glory, totally neutered 
All low-status bodies are available
I am the state, state of penetrating 
Meatcubes, all my giga penetration

Chad: I ordered Wild Tea Kombucha, not Island Mango. Fucking morons 

Romulai: Nullos furry, made bed in detritus 
Substrate of the operating system

I am the state, state of penetrating 
Meatcubes, all my giga penetration
I am the state, state of penetrating 
Meatcubes, all my giga penetration
I am the state, state of penetrating 
Meatcubes, all my giga penetration
I am the state, state of penetrating 
Meatcubes, all my giga penetration
I am the state, state of penetrating 
Meatcubes, all my giga penetration
I am the state, state of penetrating
Meatcubes, all my giga penetration
I am the state, state of penetrating 
Meatcubes, all my giga penetration
I am the state, state of penetrating 
Meatcubes, all my giga penetration
I am the state, state of penetrating 
Meatcubes, all my giga penetration

Chad: Yeah shut up bucco and work your milkers
Hammerfist
Mount
Anaconda choke
Turtle position
Verbal submission
Verbal submission
Verbal submission
Verbal submission
Verbal submission
Verbal submission
Verbal submission
Verbal submission
Verbal submission
Verbal submission
Verbal submission
Verbal submission
Verbal submission
Verbal submission
Verbal submission
Verbal submission
Verbal submission
Verbal submission
Verbal submission
Verbal submission
Verbal submission
Verbal submission
Verbal submission

Monster

no better seat, better than cageside, better than front row, 
away from all prying gazes yet observing them all, 

noticing the dogs and the howling hounds the sheep unaware that
the slaughterhouse’s right around the corner, the banshees 
screeching and the whales spouting and the elephants and the rhinos
dancing and the monkeys fucking the circus’s in town baby 

clowns are dead deemed too frightening too many phobias around 
hearts palpitate at any sound, any light, all words banned 
communicate with contracts

sign this, please, good, now you can tell me “hello” but don’t
ask how I am, it’s violating my privacy

no touching hands, no smiling unless four consent contracts are submitted,
filed, here are the contracts they each detail every move and word you
may say and here’s the list of forbidden words and actions and pronouns
take your time twenty pages I’ll be over there waiting for you to read
and sign here, here, here, and here, yes thank you

refusing to sign is a violation of some rights must be I approached you
you are not allowed to refuse just sign here, here, and here, yup precisely

that’s good fantastic yes I’m allowed to say no
no you’re not you don’t get that because you’re privileged
of course you are I don’t care

bourbon and tequila are you insane, you’ll drink soda
it’s right here in clause #173 in the bottom corner of page #6
alcohol’s not allowed while I’m around I’m against alcohol and have
every right not to be tempted and offended I don’t care if it’s a bar
I have rights! damn it, you signed no I did not coerce you
claiming that violates clause #43 on page #3 didn’t you read it
what do you mean too long and boring? you think I’m dull? 
that’s offensive according to clauses # 125 on page #4 and #217 
page #8 are you blind deaf dumb

no, I’m smart, everyone says so
yes, it’s illegal to call me stupid—I’m intelligent! 

you can’t tear this up, you can go to jail I’ll call the cops
no I won’t leave you alone I approached you and you’ll talk to me like 
you would to anyone else as long as you follow some simple rules read them
again you’ve already violated several clauses and…don’t touch me there
only three inches around the knee look it’s stated right here
anywhere else and it’s violating my space and body I’ve made it clear enough

no you can’t drink, I told you
my god what are you what kind of a monster are you? 

horrible, horrible monster! you’re smoking and drinking and touching
and joking and everything I told you not to! 

monster, monster!
mon,
ster! mo
ns
ter

where are you
going? we didn’t talk as I wanted
us to didn’t tell you
why alcohol is bad
why smoking is bad
why everything you do is bad

you have to listen 
you have 
to listen
to 
me I know

better than you 

another drink? you’re a drunk, an alcoholic
a disease-ridden monster
MONSTER

I’m leaving you just lost your chance to change 
your life for the better

I was your angel 
MONSTER

Buyer Beware

A lull in the film; filler 
between action scenes. 
She leans over in the dark, 
gives to the stud, 
on the creaky seat beside,
skull. 
The guy becomes beside himself. 
To see if this be a dream, 
pinches a nipple. 
Only makes the head bob 
harder, deeper, faster. 
Barely makes out, 
in the gloom, she’s blonde, 
slim, twenty-something. 
The stud – with a wince, a grunt, 
a shiver – comes. 
She, as he’s finishing, sits up, 
frenches the dude, 
tonguing the load past his tonsils. 
Confused, coming off coming, 
losing, as men do, 
interest in the act just done, 
our man shies, tries to spit, 
but she follows the evade 
with grommet mouth. 
“Eat it!” she hisses, 
teeth against teeth, 
her hands flicking the razor, 
plopping the organ into the bag. 
And she’s up the aisle, 
through the stinky lobby, 
out the door, 
into the hard rain of 1^st Avenue; 
her latest – still oozing – 
unmemorable souvenir 
soon flipped into the sewer – 
another bratwurst for the rat, 
the cockroach, and our friend 
and fiend the strobing microbe. 
She ducks into a welfare hotel, 
dizzies upstairs to her room, 
where she continues losing the battle 
to the virus she got doing hardcore, 
hoping to buttress 
her checking account’s 
unprotected balance.

Wednesday’s Child

She put the butcher block knife
to his throat
and asked him to tell her which
child was full of woe.

Do I get a phone a friend?

I’m not Alexander Graham Bell,
she shot back.

It was true.
Those ripped stockings
were like a cutter’s paradise.

But he had never been good
when put on the spot.

Can I ask the audience?
he played for time.

She looked around 
the otherwise empty kitchen
and repeated her demand. 

And to think he had found this one 
on a popular dating site.
Claiming a rigorous vetting process
which he now doubted
with the blade dug so deep into
his panicked jugular.

What, no 50:50 eliminator?

Do I look like Regis Fucking Philbin 
to you?

She kind of did,
that silver fox pompadour 
and face like a stretched condom.
But he wasn’t going to say that
with the knife still in 
her hand.

From Here to Paternity?

A knock on the door. 
He opened it, she burst in, 
flung her arms around his neck. 
They tore the clothes off each other,
as they’d seen in films. 
He hoisted her up.
She wrapped her legs
around his waist,
as she’d seen on TV. 
In this position, he slammed her 
up against the wall, 
as he’d read in pulp fiction… 
However, he couldn’t 
complete the act, 
so, he carried her to the bed 
where he discovered 
he’d run out of condoms. 
They decided to adopt 
the medieval popes’ 
favoured position: 
Vat 69.

Regurgitated Relationship

It started with our lips. 
Doesn’t it always?
No greater sound than 
the one you made when I pleasured you. 
I encouraged your behavior with 
a muscle memory of moans. 
Shapeshifting to tolerate your movements. 
Wetness meant completion to you. 
Vibration meant orgasm for me. 
Any fool can feign indifference. 
The sickness of sexual stability recycles itself.
Zodiacally speaking,
a fire sign to my water. 
Did this mean dominating your flame? 
Or drowning in your heat? 
I’m still making sense of the ins and outs (tee hee). 
Much like being unapologetically open, 
like my legs were with you. 
Another round over here, please. 
Our juices aren’t enough to 
hydrate these exhaustive efforts. 
Most prefer to establish a familiar rapport 
before unleashing their true colors. 
Yet I, a self-described mess, 
used a full palette from the start. 
“You’re such a fun time!” 
Pssh, the only thing you gave me was regret, buddy.

Watching Trains 

Drinking Mad Dog on the stoop in Oneonta, NY. 
Stoneonta, The City of the Hills. 
Telling Tom about the Christmas morning 
My Father hit a golf ball through the neighbor’s window;
Telling Jones about lighting a cigarette 
Off a lightbulb in Heather’s bedroom, 
Her pleasure dome postered with Seventeen and Tiger Beat; 
About shooting fish in the Susquehanna 
Doing coke
Watching trains.  
Telling Jones about going to New Paltz 
To visit a girl who’d already forgotten me; 
Telling Tom about my three week vacation
In the Psych Ward, the hospital tuck,
The sun lobotomized, the beds bolted to the floor; 
Watching trains
Doing coke
Playing the corner
Smoking ‘Nam weed with Keith under the viaduct, 
His father —damaged goods, a fly rink like Colonel Kurtz, 
Handlebar mustache like an old pump trolley; 
Falling in love with Kristin
And Nikki
And Lori, & Jen. 
Telling Tom about Downtown Ian 
And the dealer we called “the Id,”
The payphone by Rite Aid, 
Circle Park, Table Rock, Easy Jackie 
And her Heavy Metal jackets; 
Remembering the snowfields as high as the house
Watching trains 
And the hills hem us in
Falling in love with Kim
And Nikki (again)
& Tracey. 
Marrying Lori. 
Telling Jones about carrying a pitcher 
Of Saranac Black & Tan 
From The Oak 
To Joel’s apartment on West Street
And not spilling a drop;   
Telling Tom about Rose’s husband 
And how he dragged his couch to the curb 
On a summer night and lit it on fire, 
How he lit Rose on fire two months later; 
Remembering 
This was no Fern Hill
Watching the trains 
We knew 
That death came for everyone.