Ivan Kass

Porcelain

Anna looked like a Victoria’s Secret angel and one of the porcelain dolls of his mother’s china cabinet, and a very fuckable renaissance angel, Mike thought, as he saw the young, petite woman walk into the bar. 

She had long blonde hair, with a slight curl, and a curvaceous body that was clearly designed for him, Mike Peters specifically, to pick up and fuck against a wall with his vigorous, robust, 6’3 body and 8 inch cock. 

A fucktoy, he thought, stiffening in his business casual khakis, to be used by anyone, but also specifically for him. (Anna and Mike had been introduced at an alternative lifestyle mixer by a mutual friend.) 

Anna was 5’2, and slender, which meant that Mike could pick her up and do whatever he wanted with her, which was very attractive. Mike already loved that Anna was so much smaller than him. Like a sickly deer, grazing at the edge of the meadow, ready to be destroyed by him, a ravenous alpha wolf. 

“Hello.” Anna sat down next to him at the bar. Pencil skirt. White block heels. She smelled like a woman. Musk, iris, violet. He tutted to himself. This girl was playing at being an adult. “How was your day? We just finished up a project at my job.”  

“Oh, fine. The usual. Nothing I want to talk about on dates” (Mike had yelled at the department’s administrative assistant for not giving the PDF attachments specific names, and had gotten a light talking to from HR regarding the incident with the graphic designer.) “Did you say you were in school?”

“No, I’ve been working for a while.” She looked at him with her big innocent blue eyes.

“So young.” 

She smiled. “I’m friends with Crystal, you know. You can’t be that much older, can you?” 

Mike was 42. “What will you be drinking tonight?” 

“Oh, whatever, a whisky sour, a rose.” 

The bartender came, and carded Anna, to Mike’s pleasure. Mike then ordered Anna a Dirty Shirley Temple, winking at her. Anna nodded at him, with a nervous smile.

Anna had fragile ankles, Mike saw, porcelain doll ankles, bony, and clearly paper white (like her face, white as a sheet) under Anna’s stockings. He thought about how easy it would be to grip her narrow bones in his big hairy hands, his bludgeoning fingers snaking around her, making it impossible for her to escape, like a helpless maiden in a Victorian movie, casting him as the virile, powerful man. 

They talked about work, and the outer technicalities of kink, for a while, Mike talking at length about the leatherwork convention he was going to. Mike’s phone buzzed. An email from work – the administrative assistant had put in her two weeks. He snorted, and ordered another drink. 

Anna didn’t drink as much as Mike would have liked, but she made an affirmative noise when Mike suggested they go for a walk, and to his pleasure she appeared uncomfortable walking in her heels after a few blocks. 

“Won’t you come in for some tea?” Mike asked. 

Anna looked Mike up and down, as if appraising him. (Anna was, in her head, doing internal calculus as if the man would be worth the trouble – supposedly, he was very good in bed, but Anna was increasingly imagining Mike had only strictly technical abilities. Crystal would be annoyed if Anna did not have a glowing review of Mike, but Crystal had not gotten laid in the normie world for several years.) 

“Do you have oolong?” 

Mike grinned his alpha wolf predator grin, and imagined her porcelain skin shattering into pieces, breaking under his fists and feet. (He did not have oolong tea.)

***

The first thing Mike noticed, when Anna’s hands were on his massive eight inch cock, were how cold her hands were. They were bony and fragile, the way Mike liked his women’s hands, easily snappable in theory, but Anna’s hands were almost purple, and like ice, like she’d stuck her hands in a snowbank before jerking him off. He shuddered.

Anna looked up, stopping mid stroke, her Princess Elsa grip on the downside of the shaft.

“What’s up?” 

Mike shuddered. “Your hands are very cold.” 

“Oh, right, sorry, should we stop?” 

“Use your mouth.” 

He wanted to throw her off, force her down, mouth fuck her, but Crystal had taken him to a few workshops, and that was disapproved of without asking. “I want to fuck your slutty little mouth.” 

Anna looked up at him, blinking a few times, he imagined with a slutty, innocent, college-girl sultry act, but was actually with disbelief. 

“Um.”

She was actually wondering how far he would go, how much he would say to an acquaintance he’d been match-made with. “Give me a second.” She gave him a few instructions, and rolled her neck around a few times on her shoulders. There was an audible crack. 

Anna’s mouth was warm and wet, thank god, although Mike half expected it to be just as frozen as her hands. For the briefest second, Mike sat back and enjoyed it, enjoyed this tiny woman sucking him off, his hands over her hand, as if he were pushing her down on it (he had been strictly informed not to.) As if he were overtaking her, destroying her, undoing her, with spit and cum dripping down her pretty top and tights… 

Anna stopped and rolled her neck again. “Oral is really rough on my neck.” She said. “I just can’t do it like I used to, honestly.” 

“Used to?” 

“I’m not a teenager anymore.” She laughed, more to herself than him. “Unless you want to venmo me the chiropractor copay for tomorrow. I get so tight and it’s like my back turns into this spider of pain and I can barely work…” 

Mike exhaled. Fragile little fuckdolls were not supposed to have cold hands. Fragile little fuckdolls were not supposed to go to chiropractors. Fuckdolls were supposed to be tiny, perfect, and able to take any physical assault 42 year old men deemed appropriate for sexual acts and not ask for copays to be venmo’d afterwards. Christ, a fuckdoll was supposed to be the parent’s insurance problem, not his. Fuckdolls weren’t even supposed to know what insurance was. 

“Let’s just fuck.” 

“Can you get me off first?” 

Mike performed his high technical performance of clit rubbing with a mixture of lube and a high powered vibrator, with a rote routine he’d gotten down. He had some dirty talk, but Anna had actually asked him to stop talking. 

The fucking was fine, once they’d gotten to it, although Anna had complained about the positions several times, and eventually insisted on a sensible, efficient method that felt best for her, and certainly did not flower herself open to his maximum cock-coverage preferences. To Mike’s great disappointment, while Anna was slender, she had some weight and muscles somewhere, and was not actually a person-sized fleshlight that he could pick up on his cock and spin around to his every whim. Anna’s cunt was as warm as her mouth, but to Mike, her cunt might as well have been covered in frost, for all that it catered to him. 

He was close. He thrust harder, like he was going to impale her, and she made a very unsexy sound. 

“Ow, dude, that hurts.” 

“I’m close.”

He remembered the workshop at the kink convention. People got angry about unwanted pain during sex. This would result in hysterical tattooed women writing angry blog posts about him. then he wouldn’t be as popular at alternative lifestyle parties, he pulled out. “I’ll finish myself off.” 

“Okay.” 

She sat up, to Mike’s eyes with frigid, priggish thirst, but to another’s eyes would be watching with a glazed spectator glance, the way someone watches an old man argue with a bus driver at nine in the morning. 

As Mike came, he had the strangest thought, about the time he broke his mother’s china cabinet when he was a teenager. It had been an accident, and yet, after the act had been done, he’d taken such a pleasure in crushing the doll’s faces under his boots, shattering the delicately crafted faces, shards crunching and cracking and breaking. His mother had been heartbroken. She’d never collected dolls after that. It gave him a certain pleasure, the same way he’d been elated when she’d dropped out of grad school, to keep an eye on him and his little sister, after the fire happened. 

***

Mike got a light talking-to, the next day about work, about the administrative assistant quitting. 

“You can’t just treat the support staff like they’re disposable,” The HR girl told him. “We’re trying to reduce turnover, I’m sure this one won’t leave a glassdoor review, because it was her first job, but the next one might.” 

Mike snorted. $15 an hour was disposable. “Of course.” 

He found himself in a thrift store on his break, drawn to the ceramics aisle. He found a small porcelain doll, with blonde hair and a vaguely sultry air. He bought it, and took it to the parking lot, and stomped on it until it was nothing but powder. 

Alex S. Johnson

Mistress of Graves

Jordan Kingfisher bent over the drinking fountain, her head swimming with the latest discoveries she’d made at the HP Lovecraft archives at Brown University. Her long, thick black hair–which she often described as “Jewish grandmother hair”–flowed down her back. Clad in a hoody with a pattern of interlocking diamonds down the back and the logo of the post-punk band Puke Graveyard down the front, Jordan very much wanted to share her findings with the shy boy who lived on her dorm floor. 

At the same time, there was something about him that put her off. Something uncanny.

She wiped the back of her mouth, turned around in her tunnel vision way and nearly plowed right into the shy boy in question.

“Ross!” she blurted out. He blushed crimson when he looked into her dark brown eyes. She had that effect on both sexes, stunning them with her nearly alarming beauty. 

“I was actually going to…to…Facebook you” he finally managed after struggling to find his words. 

She smiled and reached out to pat his shoulder. She realized that at this moment they both felt awkward.

“But you’re right down the hall from me,” she said. A flood of relief poured through her. She looked again at him and something clicked in her head. He wasn’t actually that bad looking. He looked like a cousin of hers that she had only seen once at her Bat Mitzvah before his parents had taken him to live on a kibbutz in Israel. A few months later he’d been killed in a bombing raid by Hammas.

“That’s true,” he said. “But it’s complicated. Involves…those equations Professor Eldritch described as ‘esoteric’ in his Kabbalah seminar. I think I saw you there.”

“Yup, that was me,” she said. “Eldritch is a fascinating man. Well, maybe we should sit down and have a coffee like normal, civilized people instead of standing here blocking traffic.” She apologized as a hurrying freshman clutching an armful of books tripped and sprawled on his back in the hallway like a Franz Kafka bug, even though technically he was just a klutz and his accident had nothing to do with her.

“Sounds good,” said shy boy.

She knew if it were up to shy boy, he would actually just sink down into his argyle socks and then vanish further until he was a pair of scuttling claws, so Jordan took the lead. Adjusting her crammed backpack on her shoulders, and wincing slightly at the pulled muscle from an old tennis injury, she guided them both to a table at O’ Malley’s, a cafe franchise in the Brown student union.

They had been sitting down interlocking eyes and vision like Russian dolls in a quantum field before she realized that they hadn’t ordered any beverages. “Could you…could you please get me a medium latte, and whatever you would like? I hope this is enough.” She fished a folded, inked ten dollar bill out of her Surprise Pussy purse.

“Are you sure? That’s very kind of you,” he said.

“Don’t worry about it. My aunt sent me a care package and some surplus funds. She knows how I tend to buy books with whatever money I make at the library…she’s very generous that way.” She looked up, realizing he was frozen in front of her.

“Is there anything wrong?” she asked.

“Yes and no,” he said. He hesitated. “You remember that one slide Eldiritch showed in his PowerPoint, the one that looked like a red eye, only…”

“It was a three star system. Algol. Or ‘All Ghoul,’ as he likes to call it. Corny.” She snort-laughed, feeling like a dork.

“That’s funny!” he said. “Well, I’m going to get those drinks for us.” He took the crumpled bill from her and headed towards the back of the line. It was right after noon and classes were letting out. 

“Those who surrender their souls to Her will dwell in eternal darkness,” came a distorted voice somewhere out of range.

She looked up and saw that a man with a megaphone was surrounded by campus security. He was wearing an optical yellow vinyl jacket and had a deranged look in his eyes.

Then she heard the scream.

His scream. 

Her vision shuddered forward. In the shock of the moment, she could see herself as though filmed from above. Then she was moving in slow motion, rippling fractals of her body tearing away from her.

Slowly, ever so slowly, her legs made of melting sludge, she made her way to the periphery of the security guard huddle. 

Ross Green was lying still on the ground, her ten dollar bill clutched in his skinny hand. Some kind of viscous fluid was leaking out of his ear.

Within a foot of his body was a pamphlet. Adrenaline coursing through her body, Jordan understood the pamphlet to be something the religious fanatic had been distributing. As if in a trance, she bent down and picked it up.

She couldn’t make heads or tails of it at first. The photo on the cover was a blurred reproduction of a turn of the century print of one of the entrance ways to the Paris catacombs. When she looked at the photo more carefully, she realized that embedded within that picture was another–the outline of a woman. 

“She’s the mistress of graves!” screamed the fanatic suddenly, tearing free of the security guards. He came right up to her. His eyes were imploring.

“Do not heed her call!” he said. “She will drag you to hell. Your soul will be trapped in an astral prison of her own devising, and darkness will abide in you forever.”

“That’s fucking ridiculous,” she said indignantly. Her logical brain was shooting through possibilities for what had just occurred. “And I hope you didn’t have anything to do with…” she knelt down and felt for Ross’s pulse. It was thready, but he was still there.

At that moment Ross rose shakily to his feet, and the security guards reclaimed the crazy man. “I’m so sorry,” said one of the guards, whom she recognized from the Federal Hill shopping center where she went to indulge her fetish for rare Puke Graveyard 12 inch sides. “He’s obviously off his meds, you know?”

“Yeah, I know,” said Ross. “I hope he’s going to be ok.”

Although Jordan knew very little about shy boy, his compassion for other misfits was something she admired about him. She had internalized her mother’s judgmentalism and was much more harsh.

The security guards marched the fanatic away.

“What’s that you’re holding?” asked Ross.

Jordan handed him the pamphlet. He peered at it through his Coke bottle lenses. 

“That’s the Mistress of Graves,” he said, flatly. When Jordan looked into his eyes, they were whirling discs, like something out of a 1950s science fiction film. 

“Who is the Mistress of Graves?” she asked.

“Never…ask that question.”

She snapped her fingers in front of his face. “Wake up,” she said irritably. “I asked you a question.”

“Never ask…that question.”

Suddenly her brain categorized its contents. She flashed on Algol, the star pair with a companion, and then a black mass began to play in her head as though it had been shot into her skull with a beam gun. Bloody, nude acolytes masturbated themselves and one another. On a jade table a young girl was bound and gagged. A priestess was intoning strange chants in a language Jordan had never heard before in her life. It felt more like a binary code, a series of dots and dashes. She felt a strange surge in her groin…fucking wet is more like it. Her pussy burned with desire and flash points of carnal pleasure spread through every cell of her body.

And then the images and sounds and psychic invasion left her head as quickly as they had entered. 

Ross smiled shyly. “Oh fuck, that was weird. I thought I’d lost you for a second.”

“Don’t worry about it,” said Jordan, trying desperately to stop the flying golden filaments in her brain. “What were you saying just now about the…what was it…the Mistress of Graves?”

“I don’t know anything about that,” he said. And sounded like he meant it.

“Do you want to go into town…” they both began to speak at once, their words tumbling over one another. So many impressions surged between them. They had much to discuss. Inhibitions to shed. Dances to dance. 

On their way out the door, Ross dropped the pamphlet on the floor. 

The Mistress of Graves stared up at the parade of Brown students. She was smiling a black and terrible smile. Her lips parted and her tongue flickered out.

After a journey of millenia across light years, she was back on earth, and ready once more to spike humanity on a sacrificial pole.

Robert Creekmore

Sole Survivor

The catkin flowers on the low-hanging branches of a centuries-old pecan tree tickle the back of Hugh Albertson’s neck as he frantically scans the ground underneath them. The old flashlight with a brittle red exterior casts a dim orange glow that flickers erratically every few seconds. It’s already hot in eastern North Carolina even though it’s only early May. Gnats and mosquitos swarm around the faint beam, creating a vortex manufactured with tiny buzzing exoskeletons. Despite this, the way the pecan tree’s frilly, long, green flowers bounce individually across his cheek and scalp transport him back to that day.

***

It was during a family reunion at his great-aunt Bonnie’s farmhouse in the spring of nineteen-eighty-five. A month before, she had deep-pile, harvest-gold-colored carpet installed throughout. To Hugh’s five-year-old self, the softness of the fibers was an invitation to slide across the floor on his chest like a penguin. Even the stairs had been carpeted. He tackled those and kept sliding through the upstairs hallway, then underneath the guest bed.

Great-aunt Bonnie owned a calico cat who, for years, had used the underside of this bed’s boxspring as her secret domain. The feline’s sharp claws had shredded the fabric leaving it hanging in his young face, as the catkin flowers do now. 

The door opened. 

The thick wood concealed by the new carpet groaned with an antique sigh. It was his older cousin Amelia. He could tell by her shoes. They were open-toe, leather sandals. Her toenails had been meticulously painted a pink that was not dissimilar to that of Pepto Bismal. Hugh kept quiet, observing like a spy. 

For a while, she sat on the edge of the bed. Her bare legs dangled over the side, as she kicked them anxiously. Each time one foot came down, her Achilles tendon was mere inches from young Hugh’s face. Intrigued, he kept quiet. 

Minutes later, Hugh recognized the stride of another cousin, Kelvin. He didn’t know their ages, just that they were teenagers, which meant they were not quite adults, but a lot closer than he was. 

For some reason, Kelvin is barefoot. His feet were tan because he wore flip-flops from Saint Patrick’s Day to Halloween. Hugh could see the v-shaped white streaks left over from them, accented by dark toe hair. 

Neither spoke. Whatever was happening had already been agreed upon beforehand. Amelia stood to face Kelvin, who was quite a bit taller. Hugh sees that they’re close enough that her knees are touching his shins. 

Suddenly, Amelia turned around so that her pink toenails were so close that Hugh could see the streaks left over from the tiny brush used to apply the polish. Her feet grew further apart and cousin Kelvin’s shorts were around his ankles. 

Noises came from both of them that Hugh had never heard before. The bed creaked from the weight of Amelia’s torso being moved back and forth as Kelvin bumped into her repeatedly for reasons Hugh didn’t understand.

This excited his brain, sending numbing sparks underneath Hugh’s skin that gave way to a warm sensation in each extremity. Without hesitation, Hugh scooched forward and placed one of his tiny hands onto each of Cousin Amelia’s nearly bare feet. She flinched slightly but didn’t stop. Instead, she slid her sandals off as the peculiar dance continued, letting little Hugh hold her bare feet until both his cousins released moaning sighs. Kelvin left first, leaving Amelia sitting on the bed, putting her sandals back on.

“Hugh, I know it’s you. If you tell anyone what just happened, I’ll kill your mama.”

As she walked away, Hugh sobbed, facedown into the carpet.

***

Hugh didn’t think about what happened much afterward. At thirteen, though, when most of the other boys looked girls up and down, Hugh was only looking down. This realization, ironically occurred in winter. At school, Hugh stared at the girls’ cold-weather shoes, imagining their bare feet. In the spring, he became mesmerized by the appearance of open-toed shoes on the girls in his classes. His yearning was so overwhelming that Hugh’s grades noticeably dropped. They took a sharp upturn when he learned there was a field of medicine just for feet, podiatry. Why not? He had always excelled in biology.  

The years clicked past. Hugh kept his desires a secret, satisfying himself alone with women’s shoe catalogs. After three years at UNC, he’d never been with a woman, let alone even been on a date. But, during his junior year that changed when Hugh met a freshman girl who became unexpectedly infatuated with him. Eventually, Hugh confessed his desires to her. She found the idea repellant but said yes and began allowing him to lick her feet prior to intercourse. 

Around this time, Hugh received a phone call from his mother concerning Cousin, Amelia. She had died at only thirty-four. He hadn’t seen her since he was little, so Hugh was flabbergasted when he found himself sobbing on the other end of the line. The pathologist said in his report that Amelia had died of a heart attack brought on by methamphetamine abuse. 

During his senior year, Hugh began to contemplate what Amelia’s body now looked like inside her coffin. How had she changed in the past year? These thoughts instantly aroused him. Hugh wanted to feel the tepid, dead flesh of her feet between his teeth.

One evening, not long after, when Hugh and his partner were becoming intimate, he began to lick her sweaty, unwashed feet, only to be startled by a horrible, high-pitched scream. It took a few seconds to process that he was the reason. Hugh had sunk his teeth deep into the arch of the unfortunate young woman’s left foot. She hurried back to her dorm, never reporting the incident out of embarrassment. He’d never see her again. 

Hugh graduated with honors and went on to study podiatry at Kent State. 

***

By the time he turned thirty-four, Hugh had been practicing podiatric medicine for four years back home in Raleigh, a forty-minute drive to his great-aunt Bonnie’s house, where it all began.

During the ensuing years, Hugh never had another girlfriend. The realization he was now the same age as his cousin when she died set something off inside of him. An urge grew. He didn’t have to kill them himself, just read the obituary section of small regional newspapers.  

Hugh traded in his Honda Civic for a black Dodge Ram pickup with four-wheel drive, in case he lost traction on the grass backing down to a fresh gravesite. His goal was to find a recently buried young woman located in a remote cemetery. He would dig up his first corpse later that year.

Hugh hadn’t done any kind of physical labor since his teen years, making the excavation take longer than expected. He opened the casket with a crowbar, exposing the body of a young woman of nineteen who died due to an unexplained cardiac arrest.

She was a brunette girl with sharp features, in a stiff white dress. Because the body was only displayed from the waist up, she already had bare feet. As not to make noise, Hugh didn’t bring anything mechanical to excise them. He used a surgical-grade bone saw to make through-cuts directly above the ankles. Yellowish embalming fluid leaked out of her body and onto the lining of the coffin. The vapors burned Hugh’s eyes. He placed each foot in its own freezer bag and put them in a small Igloo cooler filled with ice, storing it on the floorboard of his truck directly behind the driver’s seat. With the casket closed Hugh’s euphoria wained. He began to sense his muscles screaming from the effort he had exerted. But the task of returning the dirt remained. This chore wasn’t optional. Hugh had to cover his tracks.  

At home, when Hugh opened the bag, the gray, dead feet still reeked of a sharp chemical smell. He used a large syringe to push water through the veins of each, flushing the remaining liquid out and down the bathtub drain. 

After thoroughly drying both, Hugh laid them out on a cutting board. The right foot, he stored in a vacuum-sealed freezer bag using a Food Saver his mother gifted him but he rarely used. Once it’s tucked away in the back of the freezer, Hugh held up the girl’s left foot to inspect it with admiration.

“Almost like hers,” he whispered aloud. 

Hugh rummaged around underneath his bathroom sink looking for a bottle of nail polish. It’s the exact same garish pink his cousin Amelia wore on that fateful day. He had purchased it years ago on a lark when it caught his eye in a drug store. Hugh shook the old bottle vigorously. The small BB inside rattled the clumpy mixture back to life. After the initial light coating, he let the paint dry, then applied a second with the precision you’d expect from someone who performed delicate surgeries weekly.

Task completed, Hugh escorted his prize to the bedroom. Unlike the rest of the house, which had bare oak floors, his bedroom was outfitted with deep-pile, harvest-gold carpet. It was reminiscent of his great-aunt Bonnie’s house circa nineteen-eighty-five. The bed was king-size and sat on a custom-made, tall bedframe.  

Naked, he crawled underneath after gently laying the dismembered left foot on the floor next to the edge of the bed. At first, he oriented the foot as Amelia’s were on that day, pink toes toward him. While entranced, Hugh began pleasuring himself. Soon, he found himself picking the dismembered appendage up and sinking his teeth across the inside arch. He gnawed the ragged skin, feeling the delicate bones underneath as they ground between his teeth. Salivating like Pavlov’s dog, Hugh turned to his side and made a deposit onto an already crispy patch of carpet. 

Finished, Hugh stored the left foot in the refrigerator to keep it fresh. Over the next two weeks, he performed the same ritual several times a day, often leaving gaps in his appointment book, which allowed him to return home to do so. 

When the foot began to rot, Hugh put in a call to a friend from Kent State. Carl was a veterinary student at the same time Hugh studied podiatry. Outside of class, one of his hobbies was osteology. Carl collected dead animals. He stripped off their flesh and articulated the remaining skeletons to be displayed and used as teaching models. The process required the use of Dermestid beetles. They slowly pick through each morsel of putrid flesh until only bone remains. Carl shipped a box with about one hundred of these little critters to Hugh’s doorstep.

The setup was easy, a ten-gallon fish tank with wood chips in the bottom. Hugh placed it up in his basement with a heat lamp to keep them warm. The process was slow at first, but once the beetle colony grew, flesh vanished at a clip. When it was finished, Hugh soaked the bones in hydrogen peroxide for a week to whiten them. With tips from his university acquaintance, Hugh was able to perfectly articulate the young woman’s foot using wire, and small springs. 

He flagrantly kept it on his desk at work. Though, being that he’s a podiatrist, it didn’t look out of place. Ethically acquired human bones can legally be purchased in the United States. Usually by universities and garden variety eccentrics. Two months passed before Hugh began feeling the urge again. He defrosted the girl’s right foot overnight in his refrigerator. 

Once he got a whiff of dead flesh, two more weeks of mania set in, which manifested repeatedly under Hugh’s bed. Inevitably, the rot began to take hold. Once the smell shifted from fresh death to putridity, their flesh became useless sexually. Hugh articulated it and the foot joined its twin on his desk. 

He knew that the urge would return, likely within a few months. Hugh was determined to judiciously prepare instead of acting impulsively. In the interim, he joined a gym, in hopes of not wearing out as quickly while digging in the future. 

A month later, Hugh began shopping through the obituary section. Another month passed before he found a suitable candidate, buried in a small graveyard near Castalia. Two days later, Hugh dug up the body of the newly deceased girl and removed his dead quarry. Now that he was physically stronger and more confident, the process took much less time. 

This cycle continued for two years. Every two months, a body meeting the correct requirements appeared. 

***

Today, Hugh has an entire shelf in his office dedicated to eight pairs of articulated feet and counting. He intends for it to grow, but his winning streak inevitably comes to an end.

***

  It’s been six months since Hugh’s last ‘excavation’ as he’s begun calling them. But faced with waning choices, Hugh considers the unthinkable. What if he made the woman dead instead of waiting? Acquiring a pre-deceased specimen of such a young age who isn’t riddled with disease or mangled in an accident is nearly impossible. Perhaps they’d be in larger population areas, but he can’t risk operating outside of very rural graveyards. If fate has stopped giving him what he needs, Hugh will take what he feels owed.

Dating websites would leave a trail. Instead, on weekends, Hugh begins frequenting local bars. The physical transition of his body from the past two years of fitness training has garnered plenty of women’s attention. However, it has to be the right woman. 

For another six months, Hugh populates the same singles bars, biding his time and getting a feel for it. Then, one Saturday night, in stumbles a perfect specimen. The spitting image of his deceased cousin, Amelia. She’s wearing open-toe sandals, toenails painted the same Pepto-pink. Hugh’s heart begins pounding so hard that his carotid arteries visibly pulse on both sides of his neck. This is his opportunity. She’s utterly plastered. 

Hugh begins planning his approach. But there’s no need. She makes uncomfortably long eye contact with him as she clumsily makes her way to his booth, where he’s sitting alone drinking a domestic beer. Without talking, she slides herself onto the bench seat, right next to him, hemming Hugh in between her and the wall. 

“Hey babe,” she says slurring, “Don’t you want to buy me a drink?”

“I reckon I can manage that. Just let me up and I’ll head over to the bar and pick up whatever you want.”

She slides her hand down the inside of Hugh’s thigh, making him jump with nervous energy.

“Thanks, sugar,” she says as she awkwardly moves aside. 

Standing next to the table, Hugh says, “I almost forgot to ask what you’d like?”

“I want a gin and tonic,” she says slurring. 

On his way back from the bar, Hugh empties a white powder he prepared ahead of time into the icy highball glass, mixing it with the tiny straw the bartender left in the drink.

Instead of returning to the same bench seat as her, Hugh sits on the other side of the booth. 

He drinks in tense silence as this intoxicated woman slides off her shoes under the table and begins running her feet up and down his legs. 

Coyly she looks at Hugh and asks, “Do you like that?”

“Yes,” he replies stiffly.

“If you want, I’ll let you suck my toes,” she says, sliding a foot toward his groin.

This goes on for another fifteen minutes, as Hugh finishes his beer. 

“I’m ready to go, if you are, big man,” she says, flirtatiously.

He approaches the bar and cashes out his tab, all the while, thoughts of her blood smeared across his shiny bone saw parade through Hugh’s mind.

Wobbly legs carry the pair out to Hugh’s Dodge Ram. 

“I think I’ve had too much to drink. I don’t know if I can … if I can drive,” Hugh mumbles.

“Don’t worry, baby. I can.”

“Are you sure?” Hugh says disoriented.

“Just give me directions, and I’ll get us there.”

“Okay,” he says staggering even more.

Buckled into the front passenger seat of his truck, the overwhelming urge to sleep presses down upon him.

“I forgot to ask,” Hugh says, “what’s your name?”

“My name is Amelia,” the woman says, seemly far less intoxicated than a few minutes before. 

Those are the last words Hugh hears before darkness envelopes him. 

***

Hugh wakes up, face down in the grass, his nose inches away from the young woman’s pink toenails. 

“Not so alluring now, are they? You’re probably a bit confused at the moment. You downed an entire beer full of Rohypnol.”

“What?”  

You know, roofies. The date rape drug. It’s the same thing you put in my gin and tonic. The one I didn’t touch. But you were too distracted to notice. In fact, I haven’t had a single drink all night.” 

As Hugh orients himself, he realizes his hands are cuffed behind his back and chained to ankle irons. Fear runs through his veins, cold like alcohol evaporating off bare skin.

“What do you want?” Hugh says, tension straining his voice.    

“I’ve been watching you for some time now. Do you think it’s a coincidence that such perfect specimens continued to line up? No, Hugh. The bones of those women you so intricately articulated are my trophies, not yours. Each of them I plied with copious amounts of liquor. After making love, I injected an overdose of insulin beneath one of their large toenails. Each was assumed to have died of unspecified cardiac events brought on by excessive alcohol consumption.”

“Where am I?”

“The old Battleboro cemetery. The place you dug up the fourth girl.”

“Let me go,” Hugh says, “We can work together.”

“Oh, we already have. My mother told me about you. I was conceived that day at great-aunt Bonnie’s back in nineteen-eighty-five. The child of incest. It would seem sociopathy runs thick in our blood, doubly so in mine.”

“Amelia never had a child.”

“That you knew of. The shame of a teenage pregnancy brought on by cousin-fucking was too much for my grandmother to bear. She sent my mom away, and I was adopted after my birth. It wasn’t until I turned eighteen that I tracked down my biological mother. My adoptive parents named me after her. I suppose they felt that I should keep a small piece of Amelia with me.”

“What you do want?” Hugh cries.

“To watch you suffer and take back what’s mine.”

“The feet?”

“All seven sets.”

“There are eight.”

“The first girl wasn’t mine, just happenstance. But, when I saw what you did, digging up that young girl’s body, the thought of possessing what you had taken worked its way into my mind like a sliver of wood jammed under a fingernail. Had I taken my victim’s feet myself, before they were buried, each would have been investigated as murders. No. I let you do the hard work.”

“I have money. I can⸺”

“I don’t care. Not everything is for sale, Hugh.”

“If they arrest me, they’re going to also connect the murders to you.”

“I took the liberty of leaving vials of insulin in your refrigerator, fresh needles, as well as the ones I used on each girl, which contain traces of their DNA. After leaving the bar, we visited your office and I took what was mine. The police have already been tipped off. You are going to be caught.”

“What about the first girl? She belongs to me.”

“The pieces of her feet have been scattered around the graveyard. I’m going to put a key in your hand. Get free and you can go looking. There’s probably less than an hour remaining. I left a note in your handwriting begging the police to stop you. All you can do now is collect your bones and run.”

“Why shouldn’t I just run?”

“Because I know you won’t leave her. These girls were your only company and solace. Believe me, I understand. But every game must have a winner.”

Amelia drops an old, red, plastic flashlight in front of Hugh’s face.

After placing the key in his left hand, she sarcastically says, “Good luck,” and walks off into the night.

Hugh flops around, having a fit trying to work the key into the hole of the right cuff. For several minutes it’s just out of reach but eventually, he gets it to slide into place. Hugh turns it, releasing his right hand. This causes the chain connecting the handcuffs to his legs to fall away. It doesn’t take much effort to free his left hand, and then each ankle. 

Frantically, Hugh examines the ground under the old-growth pecan trees. Piece by piece, he collects the errant bones, keeping track until he’s missing only one, the second metatarsal of the right foot. Scanning erratically, his flashlight beam glances across the trunk of one of the large trees. Leaning up against it is the younger Amelia. 

“It took you long enough. Is this what you’re looking for?” she says, holding the bone between the pointer and middle finger of her right hand.

Hugh’s confidence grows. He’s taller and stronger.

Walking toward Amelia, Hugh shouts, “Give it back, you cunt!”

“Come get it,” she taunts.

Hugh charges, running at her with full force. Amelia turns the bone around, exposing an end that has been cut on the bias and sharpened. Just as Hugh reaches her, she punches him in the face, driving the bone through his left eye, causing him to fall onto his back, screaming in pain. Without hesitation, she stomps the bone further into his skull with her right foot, still clad in open-toe shoes.

Amelia doesn’t stop. Her feet slam onto his face over and over, bloodying him until each of Hugh’s breaths manifests a gurgle. Then there’s quiet.  

A demented grin paints itself across Amelia’s face as she sees herself reflected in the stainless steel blade of Hugh’s bone saw. She gets to work, forcing the blade through the tender skin just above his left ankle, then grinding into bone. The serrated stainless steel makes short work of it. Then she repeats the act, taking his right foot as well. With her prizes in hand, Amelia leaves Hugh where he fell. 

After hoisting herself into his truck, she drives off just as a line of blue lights comes into view through distant foliage. As Amelia accelerates onto Highway Ninety-Five via the Gold Rock exit, she cannot help but pull out Hugh’s left foot and grind it between her sharp teeth.

Alex S. Johnson

The Doom Hippies Vs. Harvard

“What appears to be the problem?” Jade McKenna peered through horned-rim glasses at the body pile up. “I thought we had trained the Final Dogs to eat the bodies…”

She paused and dabbed at her face. Something was wrong, Something was very wrong.

It had all begun with the addition of The Doom Hippies, a collection of dark satire by Alex S. Johnson, to the collection at the Widener Library. The author had donated the book and added a sigil written in his own blood as well as an embedded curse. Subsequently, havoc spread through Harvard like snaking fingers of Mandelbrot juice. The entire student body was infected. Green juices poured copiously from genitalia. Minds were at first subtly inflamed, then engorged, with phallic juts bursting through foreheads and spearing dead babies through stained class widows. Eyes crackled with emerald fire like icicles stored in the dendrites of Notre Dame cathedral as it walked to and fro in an ever-widening circle of chaos stars. 

“I actually did no such thing,” Johnson said in her right ear. “And frankly, it’s Craig Thomas’s fault. It’s on him. He was so enthusiastic to get the book from me, especially after he read the product description on amazon. I think it was the story ‘Vampussy’ that did it.”

“Granted, yes, it was probably…that story, or maybe it was his story ‘Walpurgisnatch’ that Kari Lee Krome put him up to.”

“But ‘Walpurgisnatch” isn’t in The Doom Hippies,” Johnson reminded her. “It’s in the forthcoming sequel, The Doom Hippies III: Cancelled and Deleted Tales. The one you’ve got in your hand right now.”

McKenna reached out as though her hand was on a spring attachment and swatted Johnson’s busy ghost like a mosquito.

“Get away from me, you Haunto-Fiction motherfucker. You’re as bad as Jordan Gallader. Lots of you ghosts have been swarming the Harvard hive mind  of late.”

“Bitch, I ain’t dead yet.”

“So you’re undead. Honestly, it doesn’t matter to my busty curvy sexy Sadie self in the slightest. Now if you don’t mind, I’m going back to my porno librarian job.” She said all this in a husky voice while passing her hands over her D cups.

Johnson’s engorged astral cock spurted white hot jissom on the dendrites of Berlin in the 70s, when a coke-addled David Bowie had fled the grim scene that spawned the Thin White Duke. McKenna smeared her ivory fine tuned hands through his spunk on purpose at first, then down her face, then down her titties, finally resting on a bust of Phallus constructed in absentia around a wire sculpture invoked by Dr. Anton Shreck as he constructed Lemmy Kilmister’s hot body double in 5.0 Dolby stereo.

“I’m so horny right now,” whispered Johnson directly into McKenna’s sordid, depraved cunt. “I’m horny for you, I’m horny for posterity, I’m horny for fame, I’m excited to be here, I’m wanting more and more and more of the wonderful cool blue neon fire of possessing the hive mind, as the final king and reigning champeen at the bittersuites to Succubi…fire…fire…fire is cool.”

“Whatever,” said McKenna. “Me for some o’ that gore candy and animal tranqs.” She thrust the ubiquitous copy of The Doom Hippies away from her, the one that so many redeemed Catholic schoolgirls had used to emancipate themselves from their inhibitions, and glanced at herself in the male gaze mirror of Johnson’s erotic obsessions. She was bound to a wheel with a bit gag in her mouth, blood dripping down her body. She felt objectified in the most wonderful and liberating way.

The Widener Library’s cum-crusted copy of honorary Dr. Johnson’s dark satire monsterpiece grew stilts and a hedgerow of soft parades, beginning its epic trek across the Himalayas in an attempt to replicate itself at the foundation of reality.

T.W. Crone

Last Dance

Sheri entered the Starbucks and ran her red-nailed hand through her platinum blonde hair. As Billie Holliday sang “As Time Goes By” from speakers overhead, her pink heels snagged on the rubber entry mat, and she stumbled forward, catching her designer sunglasses before they fell on the beige floor tiles.

“Have a nice trip?” a familiar voice snarked.  Sheri looked up and found her bestie, Coco, a chocolate-skinned beauty with big hair wearing a tight red jumpsuit, beckoning her to the community table. “Yo, bitch, get over here!”

Removing her troublesome footwear, Sheri walked over and dumped them on the table. She looked up to a heavy-set barista with acne behind the counter. “Excuse me, sir?” She squinted cartoonishly. “Oh, ma’am, could I get a hot, tall white chocolate mocha with whipped cream, please?” she said, blinking her long lashes rapidly. The barista frowned and nodded. Sheri sat at the table across from her bestie, crossing her long, creamy legs to prevent giving anyone a free look up her short black mini-skirt.

“So bitch, how ya doin’?” Coco said once her friend settled.

“Just got another five hundie tip.”

“What? You little slut. You’d better hope they don’t find you’re doing more than private dances.” Coco shot her friend a wry smile and sipped her tall drink that had more in common with a milkshake than coffee.

“Hey, I don’t do anything extra.”

Coco’s eyes squinted with doubt.

“Seriously, I just whisper sweet nothings in their ear and imply something ‘special’ might happen if they put in a large tip and show me on the app.”

Coco finished a long sip as the barista arrived at the table and set down Sheri’s milky drink.

“Thank you, dear.” Sheri handed the server a fifty-dollar bill and then shooed them away. They smirked and headed back to the counter.

“You are so mean to her. That karma gonna get you,” Coco said, wagging a long finger.

Sheri rolled her eyes.

“So kiss and tell bitch,” Coco said, leaning forward. “How do you get the big tips without putting out and without getting complaints.” She lowered her voice to a whisper. “I also notice you don’t get no repeat business neither.”

Sheri’s smile cooled. “Life after Life” started playing. “I just pick the disgusting, reclusive ones with stalker vibes that no one else will service. They just appreciate me is all. Once they’ve seen my moves, those memories last them the rest of their lives.” She took a long sip from her drink.

“That’s bullshit, and you know it. Just fucking tell bitch.”

Sheri locked gazes with Coco.

“Welcome to Starbucks!” several baristas chimed as a new patron entered. The two working women didn’t move or blink.

Sheri placed her drink on the table, wiping some of the whiteness from her lips. “I do my research.” Her friend cocked her Q-tipped head like a confused dog. “They have health issues. I make sure my lap dance is their last.” Her phone buzzed. “Well, would you lookie there?” She showed the screen to her friend. “Another creep with a heart condition who doesn’t trust banks and has no friends to care what might have happened before he was found dead.” She put her glasses on, took a final sip from her drink, grabbed her shoes off the table, and strolled to the door.

Sheri glanced back to see Coco’s mouth still silently agape.

“Bye, bitch.”

Robert Creekmore

The Christmas Pickle

As my court-mandated therapist, Dr. Calkins rattles on, I imagine her in a schoolgirl outfit tied facedown.

The words she directs at me waft past my ears into a sea of blankness. Soon, all I can hear is the sound of a paddle hitting her bare buttocks so hard that it makes visible ripples like little tidal waves in the surrounding skin.

“Herman, are you listening?”

“Yeah,” I reply flatly. 

I restrain myself. This whore doesn’t realize she’s speaking to a high-quality man. I call her that to myself because there is no husband to be found in the myriad of family photos decorating her paltry office. Only she, two children, and a labradoodle. All I can think is that she’s like that dog, only without a firm hand on her leash. 

In her forties now, she hit the wall more than a decade ago. Her illegitimate children are the repellent toppings on this sad crone, slut pie. If she were honest, there would be seven cats, empty wine bottles, and a substantially proportioned dildo in the frame. 

For me, all this bullshit started six months ago when my ex-girlfriend, Bonnie, brought me up on bogus charges.

What you have to understand is, that my dad owns a car dealership. Not some dirt lot on an alternate highway. It’s fucking huge. He’s rich, and by proxy, so am I. Everyone at NC State knows this. Mostly because I tell them. Before freshman year, they bought me a house directly across the street from campus. Don’t get jealous. It’s a cramped, four-bedroom hovel. Worse yet, they only pay for maid service once a week. 

My folks live one town over in Cary. I don’t think they wanted me at home anymore. Either way, why would I want to crawl behind the peasants every morning in my BMW M8? I already have too many points on my license from having to weave through their economy cars and minivans. Regardless of my proximity, I haven’t registered for a morning class since sophomore year. Unfortunately, that’s slowed me down. I’m a third-year senior.

Bonnie pursued me because she knew my parents were affluent. She’s eighteen, which places her halfway through her prime reproductive years. I’d prefer fresher eggs, but the judge said he couldn’t help me next time. I’m still not supposed to be more than fifteen hundred feet from a middle school. Even at this older age, she’s still impressionable enough to be molded into a submissive wife.   

I spent a small fortune on fancy dinners, jewelry, and flowers. I even endured musical theater. That kind of money and effort buys access. At first, I was a gentleman about it. But, if you get in the way of what belongs to me, I will take it. Now here I am in trouble for using my property, her body. 

I’ve become a social pariah since Bonnie and her parents began misusing the court to impugn my character. Some call me an incel. I’m starting to like the label. I consider it a synonym for alpha male.  

In the fallout, even some of my tight bros have bailed. All their absence has done is expose thems as the beta-cuck pussies they always were. Good riddance.

In private I’ve turned to the internet for my needs, specifically a pair of camgirls. Miss Scarlett is a six-foot-tall, muscular redhead. Her co-star, Midge, is a slight, four-foot-ten Brunette. She’s the submissive, and Scarlett the dom. 

It infuriates me that I love it, so I make sure to remind them what sluts they are. My hummungous tips keep me from banishment. But, I can tell by the looks on their faces the insults hurt. Good. 

Sadly, I can’t say those kinds of things in Dr. Calkins’s office. Can I?

I bite my lip.

Don’t do it, I think to myself.

Then it comes out anyway.

“What, you couldn’t even keep the marriage together for the dog?” I say to my therapist after thirty minutes of silence on my behalf.

“Excuse me?” Dr. Calkins says, shocked at my audacity.

“I don’t know what you mean,” I reply.

“Your insinuation about my marriage.”

“I’m sorry, your monthly must have drawn too much blood from your brain. I don’t recall.”

“My montly?”

“I didn’t say that. Do you feel okay?”

“You’re dismissed, Herman. I’ll be speaking to the judge on Monday morning.”

“So will my father, over a golf game on Sunday afternoon. What’s your handicap?”

“I don’t play—”

“Discussions at the country club mean more than your silly phone calls. I don’t know why. It must be all the sunshine.”

She stares dumbfounded as I walk out the door.

The judge unilaterally ignores Dr. Calkin’s complaints. 

I wore her down to tears multiple times over the next few months.

Our last session was directly before Thanksgiving. Her sobs were tragically delicious. I wanted to grab her face with both hands and lick the tears from her red cheeks. 

No longer on probation, I can take on other pursuits. The following week, one presents itself. 

Miss Scarlett and Midge announce their annual Christmas pickle. Each year, they pick a random city in the United States. An assistant hides a plastic pickle ornament at a well-known landmark. Afterward, the girls drop hints about its location. This year, serendipitously, they’ve chosen Raleigh. Over the years the prizes have mostly consisted of sex toys, typically fuckable silicon replicas of their pussies. But this year, it’s a threesome live on camera Christmas morning. No holds barred; raw dog.

The chat room went wild upon the announcement, with members typing that they were booking flights and hotel rooms on the spot.

The clue is, You spin me right round, right round, in a historic park.

Knowing the city, it didn’t take much time to break. I visited Pullen Park in the early hours of the morning and quickly found the coveted ornament under the antique carousel. On it was a handwritten email address.  

A few quick messages between myself and their assistant verify that I am the winner. Arrangements are made. I’m set to go live with them in three weeks.

The meet-up location is a split-level ranch house in North Raleigh.

They greet me at the door wearing robes. They’re gorgeous and smell wonderful. I hate them for it.

I’m led down to the basement. It’s not their regular studio. There’s soundproof foam lining the walls and ceiling. It makes sense. The neighbor kids shouldn’t have to hear the shrieking orgasms I’m going to give them while opening their Christmas presents. I’m not a monster, after all.

After shutting and locking the door behind them, both drop their robes, revealing matching white lingerie. 

Hurriedly, I strip naked.

“The little captain is ready, I see,” Miss Scarlett says, observing my glorious erection.

“If you are,” I reply, trying to keep it cool.

“First, we want to spank you a little. Not hard, just for show. The audience will love it.

“It’s not my thing, but why the fuck not,” I say.

They strap me facedown to a giant wooden cross resting at a forty-five-degree angle on a custom rack. 

Secured, Miss Scarlett retrieves a large VHS camera mounted on a tripod.

“Why the antique?” I say jokingly.

“VHS doesn’t have metadata, which means no forensic evidence,” Midge replies.

A television is wheeled out. Midge places a tape into a VCR the size of two cinderblocks. On the screen appears the face of Dr. Calkins.

“Herman, now that I have your attention, allow me to tell you about my husband. While I was pregnant with my youngest, he was diagnosed with neuroblastoma. He survived long enough to hold his infant daughter once. The day after her birth, he became too weak to leave bed. A week later, the love of my life was gone.” 

“I don’t keep pictures of him in my office because seeing them rips my heart out. On the upside, his massive life insurance policy made financing this special film possible. Herman, women are exhausted with men like yourself. There are far too many, and too few reckonings. But, on rare occasions, they come. Today is yours.”

The TV goes to static. Midge pulls the tape out and then places a large neodymium magnet on top of it, permanently erasing the tape’s contents.

“Did you actually think you solved the riddle?” Midge says in her high-pitched voice, which turns into a cackle. No. The chat room you were in was made for your eyes only. The other participants were chatbots I programmed. This isn’t a prize. It’s a snuff film, and you’re the star.

I struggle but can’t budge.

Miss Scarlett hooks something to the foot of the cross. Then I hear the whir of an electric hoist as I’m pulled feet-first toward the ceiling. The cross hangs freely, allowing my inverted body to swing back and forth like a metronome. 

“Hold the cross still, Midge” I hear Mrs. Scarlett say. 

I scream as the blade shallowly pierces the center of my back. Searing pain courses through my body in pulses as the skin is meticulously peeled away. 

As I lose consciousness, I hear Midge say, “Be careful, Dr. Calkins wants enough hide to make a purse for her and Bonnie.”

Pieter Kohler

Reinhardt the Bull

The first splash hit Manfred’s face, and a forceful stream ran down the navy blue and black-striped tie resting like a ribbon of night on the white cotton shirt. Reinhardt spread his legs in the door of the stall. He had last worn a civilian tie to his mother’s funeral four years ago, but the lawyer owned a rack of silk ties in colours and designs to complement his tailor-made suits. Huddled against the marble wall under the showerhead, Manfred pulled his knees up as urine saturated his shirt and tie, followed by a drenching of the fine-wool fibres of the suit jacket. Reinhardt had allowed him to remove his Italian shoes, but not his socks, which matched the tie. He told Manfred to lower his knees while he pissed over the silver belt buckle and the lawyer’s groin. The man could do nothing to ward off the torrent. He had been ordered to keep his hands behind his back. Reinhardt directed the still-strong stream once more at the lawyer’s face. He had been saving it up for this moment. Open, he commanded.

The piss bubbled out of the man’s mouth and soaked his Van Dyke beard. He choked, spluttered, his face showered by the hot liquid, his eyes closed, his entire body trembling in a kind of private ecstasy, lapping, swallowing as much piss as Reinhardt aimed down his throat. “You pathetic pig, drink it; show me how much you love me, faggot!” Reinhardt shouted, obeying the lawyer’s wish to hear his commanding abuse while giving him a golden shower. His bladder finally drained; Reinhardt zipped up. A speculum designed to keep the mouth open, he decided would be useful for the next session. He had a couple at home, but he had already used them on other pisspigs, so the lawyer would have to buy his own. It wasn’t wise to share intimate toys.

Listening to the lawyer’s strange whimpers of satisfaction, Reinhardt dredged up a gob of spit, aimed it at Manfred’s still open mouth, and splattered his lips and chin. He sat on the toilet. The fabric of his fatigues tightened over muscular thighs. The lawyer shivered on the shower floor, licked his lips, hands behind his back, his tie and jacket saturated. Standing quickly, he smiled over the sheen of his military boots, which Manfred had earlier caressed and polished with his tongue.

What you ate affected the smell and taste of piss and semen, Reinhardt knew, so he avoided brassicas and asparagus before a session. Always careful about what he ate, he had consumed a protein drink and swallowed vitamin supplements before arriving at the condo, combined with two bottles of beer, which guaranteed the build up of piss. He wondered if Manfred tasted hops even as the odour of urine long exposed to the air intensified. He just paused above the lawyer, spitting again, wrinkling his nose against the smell. 

“Don’t move, my little pig, until I let you out.”

***

In the galley kitchen gleaming with granite countertop and steel appliances, Reinhardt opened the fridge door. Wanda was supposed to be home by now, as the couple had agreed to take time off work for fun. He could do anything he wanted with the lawyer, and he had every intention of pushing boundaries. What he wanted now was to fuck the lawyer’s wife, fast and hard, then fuck her again while her husband watched, ball-gagged and shackled. Since they met at the bar a couple of months ago, this was only his fourth visit to play dominant bull to the submissive couple.

He suspected Wanda delayed on purpose, his impatience adding to her excitement. After drinking another beer, he’d probably have to relieve himself. He’d piss on the lawyer again, maybe in the tub, or even on the white Berber carpet of the living room where he now stood. Make Manfred strip and spread himself like a flagellant before the altar on the beautiful rug; make him say a few worshipful words to his swell-muscled bull, who would then spray liquid gold over the naked body while Wanda protested. He might have to bind her to prevent interference. She’d like that, probably expected it, something she had mentioned in their preliminary discussions about scenarios, even if she lamented over her fine furnishings. 

Reinhardt heard the front door to the condo open. Was it time to give the cuckold Manfred permission to move? Lead Wanda into the washroom? Get her on all fours by the toilet, lift her skirt, and ram her cunt from behind like a German Shepherd mounting his bitch while Manfred huddled and soaked in the shower stall watching his bull in action? A couple of hours had passed already since his arrival. Preliminary play with the lawyer had taken up most of the time. Drenching the cuckpig had lasted less than a minute. Reinhardt sucked the beer down. He wanted his bladder full. He had been paid 800 Euros in advance for two hours, but if he really got into the action, he gladly extended a session, no extra charge.

Before Wanda touched his back, he smelled her perfume. When she pressed against him, Reinhardt flinched. Her arms reached around his chest, her faux fur coat sleeves bristling with static electricity. He would humiliate Manfred again while Wanda bore witness. That was part of the deal; that was what they both wanted, their bull taking control. He grabbed her hands to prevent them from rubbing his nipples.

“What’s the matter?”

“Nothing, bitch, just don’t. Get me a beer.”

He was rubbing his crotch as Wanda approached with a beer. He wondered about the height of the balcony to the waterless fountain almost directly below. Reinhardt grabbed Wanda’s neck; her body relaxed, stepped closer while he guzzled down half the bottle. He gripped her shoulder.

“Let’s go on the balcony.”

“It’s chilly outside.”

“Leave your coat on.”

He didn’t slide the glass door shut as he spun her around on the balcony and kissed, his unshaven cheeks abrading her smooth skin. Slipping his arms under her coat, he lifted Wanda onto the railing.

“What the…what are you doing?”

Holding her tight with one arm, he raised her left leg around his waist, secured her close to his chest, and fingered her under her dress. She struggled to break free, her struggle part of her fantasy, but he leaned her backwards over the railing, pushing three fingers into her cunt. Her scream Reinhardt interpreted as encouragement, not protest. In the tavern where they had first met after he had answered their queries on his personal website, and later negotiated the terms of the arrangement, they’d agreed on a safe word, uttered only when she wanted the action to stop. She was trapped by her own excitement over being precariously balanced on the balustrade. If Reinhardt let go of her waist, she’d somersault over and plummet several floors to her death. Removing his wet fingers, and with the prestidigitation of a magician, he retrieved a rubber from his pocket, tore open the package with his teeth, slipped it on, and pushed his cock into her receptive body. He preferred bareback, but she had insisted during their negotiations. Since they paid for him to do what they wanted, Reinhardt had agreed.  The customer was always right.

Her voice muffled by the whirring of an approaching helicopter. She was trying to scream between gasps for breath, so he picked up speed in his fucking. If the traffic helicopter pilot flew overhead, he’d see Wanda hunched over a balcony railing in a brown fur coat, hanging onto to a soldier who, despite the chill, wore only a green army-issue T-shirt and fatigues. Reinhardt raised his eyes, squinting in the late afternoon winter sun, loosening his hold on the woman who groaned and clung to his neck, both legs cinched so tightly around his waist that she’d hurtle over the railing with him firmly locked between her thighs if he didn’t maintain control. Death by fucking.

“Oh, please.” Wanda’s voice was scarcely audible; he couldn’t tell if she was begging for her life or for his cock. He kept up a steady and riveting thrust, his cock feeling as hard and big as Thor’s hammer. Her fur coat dropped off her shoulders and hung like a bearskin draped over the railing, her red hair coming loose from its pins. The helicopter hovered overhead. 

He released the woman, who instinctively clasped the cold iron railing, and jackhammered her cunt, sweat dribbling down the back of his neck even in the cold. He wanted to be finished, since he was getting bored, and besides, the husband was in need of more attention, and he decided that he’d only give the couple an extra hour, free. He slammed into Wanda, who screamed when he let go. Yes, she had admitted in the tavern, she wanted it hard. Her legs slipping away from his waist, her upper body began falling backwards, but Reinhardt pulled her up and off the railing and onto his explosive cock. He finished the hard fuck with three upward thrusts, lifting her off her feet, which kicked over a stand of dead plants in ceramic pots. They cracked on the concrete. The chopper lurked upward, swerving to the right. The condom dangled from his semi-flaccid dick, heavy with his superman spunk.

“Oh, please, don’t leave me, I’ll do anything,” Wanda whispered in his shoulder, slack and needy. Just like her husband waiting in the shower stall. There were so many things he planned on doing, so many things they didn’t even know they yearned for. He now owned them. They said they wanted a bull, ein Stier, to own them; that was part of the play, and the husband wanted to be humiliated, any way Reinhardt chose. With his face blushing over their drinks in the tavern, Manfred had whispered his desire for golden showers, as if confessing to a rare and abominable obsession. Craving to be cuckolded and degraded by a soldier wearing his boots, a common fantasy which Reinhardt took advantage of when the opportunities arose and charged more for his efforts. The wind picked up. Reinhardt shivered. He opened the door and gently pushed the wife inside, her coat falling to the floor, where it lay like a dead animal.

“Get me another beer, cunt. Bring it to the washroom. We’re not done yet.”

Matthew Licht

Un amour moche

Severine had a big nose and sky-high cheekbones. I only noticed the rest of her when she took off her dress. She wore her swimsuit underneath it. There were still bathing establishments along the Seine, in those days. She dived in without a splash, and disappeared below the dark, turbulent water.

Her father had bought her an apartment on a twisted street that led into Place des Vosges. Even her huge, luminous dwelling existed to intimidate and oppress.

Shortly after she’d installed me at her place, she said she had another lover, a Moroccan, or Algerian, in any case some former French colony. He knew how to sodomize her the way she needed it. The guy was married, with kids, so they could see each other every and then, when he could get away from his responsibilities. That evening, he was free.

This made me pretty angry.

Other evenings, she went for dinner at her parents’ place, in Passy. I wasn’t invited. 

To enrage her father, she’d told him she was living with a disreputable foreigner, a long-haired beatnik. To rub salt in the wound, she added that I’m half-Jewish.

She told her other boyfriend that part too, to madden the poor guy. I wanted to beat him up. I could’ve tailed Severine to find out where he lived, what he looked like. If he knew Severine’s address. All he had to do was show up there, and brain me with a tire iron. Her father would’ve doused us both with gasoline and roasted us alive, damn the consequences. He must’ve known some high-ranking cops.

None of this did anything to diminish my desire for Severine, which made her laugh, cruelly. I imagine she also made Ali, or Mustafa, or whatever the hell he was called, suffer. She tortured her father, who smiled in his army uniform from framed photos on the walls of her glorious pad. 

Those two couldn’t change their relationship with her. I could, and did. I left her a note, scrawled on the cover of her treasured first edition of Proust. Goodbye, you fabulous cunt.

Years later, I saw her again, in an out-of-focus snapshot on one of the so-called social networks. Still strangely gorgeous, with a few extra pounds on her, elegantly dressed, sitting on the lap of a gentlemen unmistakably from Parisian high society. There was nothing else on her page. No need for it. 

Whenever I return to Paris, my aimless rambles always end up in Place des Vosges, like an ant who follows the chemical trails left by his queen.

An artist friend describes Paris as a beautiful town full of ugly things. For me, Severine is Paris. Paris is Severine.

On the métro back to the airport, I always think, goodbye, you fabulous cunt.

J’aime Paris. 

Vive les femmes.

Alex S. Johnson

Ozzmandroid of Oz 

For Lesli Spivey and Michelle Fairchild

Kandy Fontaine, Slutty Detective, stood over the steaming guts-pile that had once been the body of her partner, Joe Oouroboros, late of Bone City PD.

“Oh dear,” she said to herself. “This is not good.”

Fontaine’s long-suffering boss, Sergeant Kent Buttklenche, stood over her, wishing there was a way he could legit grab her by that fine-ass pussay in a way that would honor the Orange Man.

“”Are you even paying attention to the crime scene at hand?” asked Fontaine. “Stop drooling over muh tittays and ass–just because I’m a Slutty Detective that dresses a propos is not an invitation for you to blatantly Big Bad Wolf muh bod. I’m a professional just like you.”

Sgt. Buttklench let our a strangled yelping sound from deep in his throat. He had been found out–so exciting, he’d need to visualize the scenario of his exposure in micro-detail later as he pumped furiously away at the mushroom shaped Man Cannon many had compared to that of The Orange Messiah.

“Yes, of course, Detective Slu–“

Detective Fontaine had meanwhile slipped on the nitrile collection gloves and was reaching into her late partner’s guttiwuts to nimbly seize on a clump of dishwater blond hair that had been repeatedly dyed blue black…

“Our perp would be in his 70s H.E.L.,” she ejaculated, spilling her white hot words helplessly over the scene of her hog-tied, ball-gagged delicious young body on a black velvet carpet. “Had E Lived,” she added, annotating herself. 

“Oh no, you didn’t just go there,” she said. The eye-daggers she sent her superior pierced his scrotum like a diamond bullet and kept on going, sending fragments to deeply embed themselves in his crotch.

Sgt. Buttklenche yelped and, unable to control the spasms of Butthurte that cored themsleves deep in his inner child–she knew exactly what it took to wound him–his well-seasoned (often with chives and exotic Orientalist spices) mind continued to process the evidence. 

“So what we’re saying,” he said at long last, “is that the Ozzy Mandroid has struck again.”

“Of course that’s what we’re saying,” spat out Detective Fontaine, “Captain Obvious.”

“That’s Sergeant Captain…to…” Sgt. Buttklenche was babbling freely. “I just let loose a thin trickle of butt-hurt butt-jizz that’s leaking out muh ass like you and your sisters in the Muff-Dive Sorority just cream-pied me with a whole bunch of infected prison spunk in a turkey baster.”

“Yuppers,” said Fontaine, but she was distracted.

A long shadow had poured itself across her peripheral vision. Something abominable had joined the scene. The perpetrator had returned, fresh from a return visit to Oz in which it had re-visited all its old stomping grounds and stomped them once more into Abstract Expressionism, with special emphasis on Ozma of Oz and the Tik Tok Man of Oz. Ozzmandroid hated the pair, who he had seen fucking to the Zeena Shreck piece “Bring Me the Head of FW Murnau, Alex S.Johnson, you brave and brilliant lad who brought it first in the pages of HORROR SLEAZE TRASH: PROSE IN POOR TASTE.” Their cum-fest had re-ignited past trauma he had from reading Johnson’s other work, such as the novelette “Ozzymandias of Oz.” While wildly inaccurate, Johnson’s work struck him as, in the end, the only fictional tribute to him that had any sort of impact whatsoever. 

“Vengeance from the grave, killed the people you once saved, is that correct,” said Detective Fontaine. As she did so, she lay on her back and throttled her sopping clit like they were going to stop making them. “Amirite.” 

“Why yes…how could you fucking tell…I love you all…fuck my former life…being a…Ozmandroid is a great relief and much fucking better than having the Parkinson’s shakes. I feel better than fine. I am the Iron Man they promised you.”

“Ozzmandroid, you are the master of metal and the true metal god,” said now-Sergeant Fontaine, her superior having succumbed to his delicate crotch condition and imploded spontaneous.

“Fucking thank you,” said Ozzmandroid. He paused to scrape some iridescent flung pieces of Buttklenche off his heavy boots of lead. “I just wanted to play rock and roll, you know? Then when Lemmy left…”

The two of them cried tears of blood.

Suddenly God appeared in the heavens above. He reached out with the Iron Fist. At first the two were sore afraid, but the fist held a rose.

“I fucking love you and miss you desperately, mate,” said Ozzmandroid.

“Oh, don’t be such a fucking pussy,” said God, swatting at a cluster of flies that had landed on his muttonchops. “You ARE the Iron Man.”

A floating doppelganger of the director of Lucifer Rising, Kenneth Anger himself, drifted into view. The sky cracked open like a vortex and a sliver of black nightmare flew down from the sky and speared Sgt. Fontaine into the Ozzmandroid.

“I think I’m going to ascend both of you to Heaven n’ Hell along with my matey Ronnie James Dio,” said God.

“Good cross check in ecstasy, mate,” said God. 

Nico suddenly appeared, her eyes bug eyed wide open with pinned pupils laser-pointed at the trio from her sunken Death Space where she resided permanently in the dark with guttering black candles and a rictus grin perma-frosting her face like a marble index out of William Wordsworth.

“I’m zo happy you vill be choining ussss for all too-morrow’s paaaaties….” Nico cackled, then passed out once more.

Ben Newell

Guilt Trip

The ATM was a drive-thru, sparing me the hassle of getting out of my old Honda. I had used this very machine an hour and a half ago. A two-hundred-dollar withdrawal from my checking account. The money was already gone; now it belonged to the blonde escort in the smoke-colored Charger riding my ass.

I owed “Sexy Sammy” fifty bucks. The two hundred had gotten me your standard suck and fuck. I had pumped away between her chunky thighs, pulled out, and dumped my load on her sizable tits. I had finished like this with other sex workers, perhaps three or four, with no problems whatsoever. 

But Sammy—well, she wasn’t having it . . . 

No sooner had I emptied my ball bag than she frowned and said, “That’ll cost you extra.” I had laughed dismissively. “I ain’t kiddin’, baby,” she had continued. “You paid for half and half. I didn’t say nothin’ about you poppin’ off on my titties.”

She hadn’t been joking. She had, however, been full of shit. But I was hesitant to protest. Her online ad had read Totally Independent Provider, but that could’ve been more BS, and the last thing I needed was some irate pimp showing up at my apartment to collect. 

This is why a lot of guys preferred the incall; they didn’t want the girl to know where they lived. Incalls were cheaper, but the risk of a sting operation was much greater when you went to her location, usually a motel. One too many episodes of COPS had given me a fear of walking into a trap, hence my willingness to pay extra and have the party at my place. 

Now, inserting my debit card into the slot, I regretted this decision. Fifty dollars was nothing to sneeze at. Still, I didn’t want to get my ass kicked, or worse. It all hinged on her ad, and whether or not I believed her claim of independence. 

Sitting there behind the wheel, my finger roved over the keypad. I regarded the computerized screen as if it were a smear of fresh dog shit on the sole of my shoe. I felt emasculated, felt like a total pussy for going along with this without so much as a peep of dissent. We had agreed on two hundred dollars for head and straight sex, which she had provided. I had paid her. End of story. I didn’t owe the bitch a goddamned dime. 

“Fuck this,” I muttered, plucking my card from the machine. I threw my car in drive. The Charger’s headlights made me squint as I peered in the rearview mirror, squint at Sammy, her face twisted with rage, as she got out of the car and rushed toward my open window. 

“Get back here, motherfucker!” 

I sped away, leaving her standing there in a short black dress which allowed for easy access. You wouldn’t have known from looking at her that she had a clit ring. 

Or maybe you would. 

***

I spent the remainder of my conscious night drinking beer and peeking through dusty miniblinds. My nerves were shot. I was a paranoid mess. Every car sound in the parking lot made my heart race. I imagined the worst, imagined some enraged flesh-peddler kicking down my door and pistol whipping me in front of the sofa. 

This went on for hours. It was just past two in the morning when I started to feel better. And this wasn’t just from being drunk, which I most certainly was. Sammy had had plenty of time to inform her pimp of what had happened. He could’ve come over and kicked my ass a dozen times already. This led me to believe that her ad had been on the level. Totally Independent Provider, I thought. The truth. She worked alone. 

Granted, she could always come back with some other guy, her boyfriend and/or dealer. But this was unlikely. She was too busy serving clients, too busy making payments on that smoke-colored Charger and feeding her opioid habit. 

By the time I got in bed and turned off the light I was feeling much better, convinced that I had gambled and won.

***

I opened my eyes to a hangover and somebody knocking loudly on my door. I preferred the former to the latter. Hangovers were nothing new. A late morning visitor, on a Sunday no less, was entirely unfamiliar territory.  

Fearing the worst, I got out of bed and padded across dirty carpet in my T-shirt and boxers. Imagine my relief when I pressed my eye to the peephole and saw Indu, my Indian neighbor, out on the landing. I unlocked the deadbolt and opened the door. 

Indu had moved in a few months prior. We had little contact. I heard her coming and going, smelled her cooking, saw her packages piled in front of the door. Indu didn’t own a car. She had everything delivered. The few times I had seen her around the property she wore a backpack and walked with a fast and purposeful stride, like she knew exactly where she was going and how long it would take to get there. 

“Sorry to disturb you,” she said, her face etched with concern, her manner tentative. “You drive the red car?” 

“Yeah,” I replied. 

“Somebody busted the window . . .” 

I was nonplussed. My head foggy, legs weak. I needed a big glass of water and some coffee. 

“The police are on their way,” Indu told me.

That woke me up. “The police?” 

“I just called them. I’m surprised somebody didn’t notice it earlier . . .” 

I wasn’t. The tenants at the Las Palmas Apartment Homes tended to mind their own business. If somebody had even spotted my window, they had probably attributed it to a volatile domestic dispute, the wicked handiwork of a disgruntled spouse or girlfriend; in essence, none of their concern. 

I wanted to slap Indu for being a model citizen. She had unwittingly compounded my problem in a big way. Cops, I thought with a sinking feeling. Fucking great. I left her on the landing while I went to my bedroom and put on some shorts and sneakers. Then I followed her down the exterior stairs to the parking lot. 

My poor old Honda had seen better days. The driver’s side window had taken a serious ass whipping. Spiderwebbed glass remained in the frame, but enough had broken away to allow the bastard to reach inside and unlock the door. 

I crouched and peered into the cabin. The stench punched me in the face. “Jesus Christ!” I winced and retreated in disgust. 

Indu stood a few feet behind me, blessedly oblivious of the revolting odor. Lucky for her, there was no wind to speak of, not even the slightest breeze to carry the smell of fresh shit. 

I couldn’t believe it. The window, yeah. I could see Sammy coming back in the early morning hours to vent her anger on my glass. Keyed paint. Slashed tires. I could see all of that and more. But this . . . 

The deranged prossie had taken a dump on the driver’s seat. 

Despite having pulled away at the first noxious whiff, I doubled over and gagged. My hangover didn’t help matters, this and the brutal heat conspiring to make me puke on the pavement. 

“Ohhh,” Indu remarked. 

Poor girl. She was getting more than she had bargained for. Did she regret knocking on my door, regret involving herself in this tawdry affair of her neighbor’s? I imagined so.  

This was no way to spend a Sunday. 

***

No sooner had I stopped puking than the police arrived. The first officer on the scene was young and rangy, his hair buzzed like a soldier’s. He was polite and thorough. 

“I called,” Indu spoke first, then answered the officer’s opening questions, explaining exactly how she had come to discover my damaged car. I pictured the whole thing as she talked. Indu walking down the stairs, weighted down with that backpack of hers, going God knows where, when she suddenly spots my car and stops in her tracks. Out comes her smartphone and we’re off to the fucking races . . . 

I wouldn’t go so far as to call a hooker taking a dump in my car a godsend, but it did spark a line of investigatory reasoning which worked to my advantage. 

“This was personal,” the officer said, more to himself than me. “Overkill . . .” 

The word hung there between us. He was fishing, hoping I would open up and come clean. 

“Yeah,” I said, looking at my sneakers and scratching the back of my head, “Thing is—um—I’m pretty sure—well, yeah—I know who did it . . .” 

Meanwhile, backup had arrived. The second officer was black, heavy, old. He approached my car, stopping in his tracks when the white officer said, “I wouldn’t get too close, Monty. She don’t exactly smell like roses . . .” 

Arms crossed, the white officer stood there before me and listened patiently while I fed him a line of bullshit about an angry ex-girlfriend. 

“We broke up last week,” I told him. 

“Who broke up with who?” he asked me. 

“I broke it off,” I said

“Does she still live here?” 

“No way.” I shook my head for emphasis. “I kicked Gina out.”  

He asked me if I wanted to press charges. I hemmed and hawed, acting like I was really torn on the matter, acting like it was just chewing me up inside. 

“It’s entirely up to you,” he stated. 

“No,” I finally told him. “Gina’s got enough problems. I don’t want her to go to jail . . .” 

He scowled at my car, then met my eyes. “You’re a better man than me. Good luck, buddy.” 

His silent colleague seemed amused yet hardly surprised by the whole affair. No doubt he had seen it all. Both officers, I knew, had lost all respect for me. And I couldn’t blame them. What kind of man lets his ex-girlfriend get off scot-free after she breaks in his car and craps on the driver’s seat? 

By the time both cruisers wheeled out of the parking lot, Indu had returned to the safety and sanity of her own apartment. I went back to mine and searched the cabinets for cleaning supplies. I was in luck. I found a canister of Lysol fabric disinfectant which I had bought some months prior after coming home from work and finding rat feces on the couch. I didn’t have disposable rubber gloves, so I just used my yellow dishwashing gloves. Best of all, I had a mask left over from the pandemic. 

It was a foul job. The heat made it damn near unbearable. But I got thorough it without throwing up a second time. 

My cloth seats were black. You could hardly tell where Sammy had dropped a deuce. You could still smell it though; the Lysol helped yet failed to totally mask the odor. I opened up the last of my black trash bags and spread it out on the driver’s seat. Windows lowered, sunroof open, I drove to the dumpster and thew away two soiled rags, the gloves, my mask, and some jagged pieces of safety glass. 

I started to drive back to my apartment, then decided against this. My car needed to air out. I got a 20 oz. Gatorade at the corner store, then hit the interstate and put my old Honda through her paces. She shimmied at 60 mph, so I stayed in the right lane and kept her at 55, content to let the other motorists, of which there were few, pass me by as the wind whipped my hair. 

The trash bag was a temporary fix until I could get a proper seat cover. The sooner the better, I reasoned, taking the next exit and circling back the way I had come. AutoZone had just what the doctor ordered. The beaded seat covers were tan and breathable. Ideal, the florid clerk told me, for hot weather. I threw in a cheapo pine-scented air freshener. Everything came to just under forty bucks. The seat covers were thirty-five, a small price to pay for placing a protective barrier between my bony ass and a seat Sammy had used for a toilet. 

***

I stopped at a red light several blocks from my apartment, eager to get home, take a shower, and eat something, when I noticed the billboard . . . 

PORNOGRAPHY: GATEWAY TO HUMAN TRAFFICKING, the sign read, text above the closeup of a young lady’s face. Her terrified eyes met mine. Her mouth was covered with duct tape. At the bottom of the sign was a hotline to call should I suspect something of this sort. 

Despite driving through the intersection several times a week, I had never noticed the sign. Of course, it could have been new. Or I could have been lost in my own thoughts.  

I raised the Gatorade to my mouth, swilled the dregs. My stomach grumbled. I tried not to look at the young lady’s eyes, but they were like a magnet for my gaze. Even when I managed to look away for a second or two, glancing at the traffic light or the road ahead, I could feel her looking at me. 

The knuckles of my left hand had turned white on the steering wheel. The light was taking forever. I shifted in my seat. The beads massaged my back. What with the Gatorade and the new seat covers, I should have felt better than I did. 

Sammy was no victim. If anything, she should thank me for refusing to press charges. Because she was definitely the culprit. A guy would have rapped on my door or waited for me in the parking lot. Sammy was flying solo. Nobody was holding her against her will, nobody was making her do something she didn’t want to do. She wasn’t like the young lady on the billboard, her situation was entirely—

A bleating horn made me jerk. Heart hammering, pulse pounding, I regarded the SUV in my rearview mirror. 

“Okay, okay. Chill out, asshole . . .” 

I drove through the intersection, no longer in a hurry to get home, no longer in a hurry to do much of anything.