Daniel de Culla

The Goddess’ Body

The pure girl walked
From Río Vena to Burgos’ Cathedral
To hear the twelve o’clock mass
Celebrated by the Archbishop.
Behind her followed
A young man who had been courting her
Since they left the Comuneros Institute
To go to the University.
He kept saying to her:
-Our Father God
Who art in heaven…
What a beautiful girl
What beautiful eyes!
Your ass is a swallow’s nest
Where my little bird dreams of nesting.
The girl became arrogant
As if she were a thirty-year-old woman
When she was nineteen.
She said to him:
The garden that I have
The one you call a swallow’s nest
Has many names
And the one that best suits it
Is “the ruin of men.
I hate my female form
For the God who made us
Or whoever was her master
Made me with a split ass
And there, in her two assholes
King Cupid places his flag
Like the Carthusian monks and nuns
They take up their half-sheet
To light up their nights of meaning
As it happened to Saint John of the Cross
And Saint Teresa of Jesus.
I don’t want to get married.
I want to remain single
To dress saints and pray
To the Virgin of Consolation.
However, as I believe
In that true song that says:
“You must love the one who loves you
And love whoever loves you.
I’m going to let you 
Put your joint up to my arsehole
So you can see what a drag I take
And what smoke it makes 
When I open and close it. 
Through the passageway that runs
From Calle La Paloma to Llana de Afuera
Next to the Flora’ s fountain
She bent down very cautiously
As if she were going to pick up a stone
Showing him the pussy
That was without textile
As was necessary
Taking advantage of him 
To put the joint in it.
With her anus
She didn’t take one drag
But three.
Then he took the joint
That began to burn between her lips.
He said to her:
-I know you’ll never be my girlfriend
Because you want to remain chaste and pure.
I’m very grateful to you
Because this joint, now
Is doing me a lot of good.

Alex S. Johnson 

An Interview with Tara Vanflower of Darkwave Legends Lycia 

ASJ: Tara, your journey with Lycia began in October 1994. How did you find your way to this particular sound, this blend of the ethereal and the melancholic that defines darkwave?

TVF: Lycia as an entity was well developed prior to my involvement. I was a fan first, and remain a fan of Mike’s to this day. I think the combination/culmination of life experiences and our collective interests just lends itself to darker elements. 

ASJ: I’m always curious how artists find their niche, that unique space where their creativity truly flourishes. The band can well be considered one of the foundational and formative bands for both the ‘90s development of Darkwave and later Ethereal Wave. What keeps that “weird drive” inside of you that makes you have to continue?

TVF: I can’t speak for the other members of Lycia, but for myself it’s this sense of losing time. We’re dying every second we’re alive and I feel like I can’t just quit. Fight the dying of the light, and all of that. I don’t do a lot of music these days, and Lycia is on hiatus. It’s a weird feeling not being active musically. I do have other projects, but something always feels like it’s missing when Lycia is asleep. 

ASJ: Beyond Lycia, you’ve also carved a distinct path with your solo work, albums like This Womb Like Liquid Honey and My Little Fire-Filled Heart. These albums have been described as experimental, even genre-defying. How does your approach to creating solo music differ from your collaborative work with Lycia? What freedoms or challenges do you find in venturing out on your own, sonically speaking? Do you have any plans to ever record another solo album?

TVF: When I’m working within the Lycia framework I know it’s a collective. So there’s a different sense of priority and obligation, as well as working within other people’s tribal domain. It’s a cohesive, collaborative, vision. There’s sense and order to it, a structure. One can’t throw a wrench into that machine, so to speak. When I wrote my solo albums I threw away any structure. There were no rules. There was no prior framework, no preconceived notions, no obligations. I am also not a traditional musician, so even trying to attempt a structure is pointless for me. I kind of see my music as more just storytelling. As if I’m taking my words and creating an audio movie with them. I want you to hear what I see in my head, much the same way I craft a world through writing. Music is me telling the audio story, writing the soundtrack… writing books is writing the story. All of it is my attempt to convey what’s inside my head, what’s playing on the screen in there.

ASJ: Shifting gears, let’s talk about your writing. You’re the author of the Violet series, among other works. You’ve mentioned that the first book, Violent Violet, stemmed from a vivid dream. Can you elaborate on how that dream translated into the story? What is it about dreams that sparks your creative process? 

TVF: I have always been a very vivid dreamer. I’ve gotten a lot of ideas from dreams, even daydreams. The first Violet book was sparked by a really detailed and movie-like dream I had one night. As I was recounting it to Mike I just quit halfway through and decided I would write it instead. No one wants to hear someone else talking in detail about their dreams! But of course as the story unfolded it became much, much larger and more elaborate, but the premise was still there tucked inside. Many snippets in my books/lyrics stem from dreams, or real life events that felt very dreamlike. 

ASJ: When did you first start writing? Does your music inspire your writing? 

TVF: I started writing as a teenager. I think the first “big thing” I wrote was a Lost Boys fanfic. HAHAHA It was actually several hundred pages long and well thought out. I wish I still had that! But my friend would spend the night in high school and we would write these fun stories back and forth about adventures we wished we had. I had notebooks full of these stories and others that I would write myself, along with poetry. It has always been about escapism in one form or another. Music does not inspire my writing, it’s more the other way around. Except in the case of Lycia, or other collabs. Then the music comes first and inspires the vision.

ASJ: I am always curious to learn about the genesis of a creative work, the spark that ignites the imagination. As you have said, “I love writing and am very passionate and devoted to my characters. My goal is to give them justice, to tell their story in their voice and in the detail they deserve, and to recreate their world as accurately as possible. I want you to know them as well as I know them.”

TVF: These people and their world is very, very real to me. I would not go as far as to say they’re tulpas, but they’re real enough that I feel them around me. Sometimes I picture certain characters pacing back and forth in my mind waiting for me to come and talk to them again because they have so much to show me. Others sit quietly, waiting their turn. Still others awaken new every day and I feel rushed to get to them first. Violet, in particular, is standing with her arms crossed over her chest tapping her foot as we speak. She doesn’t like to be ignored and she has A LOT to say.

ASJ: Many of your stories delve into the darker aspects of human existence, exploring themes of fear, mortality, and the supernatural, particularly vampires. What draws you to these themes? What is it about vampires that fascinates you? Is there a particular allure to these creatures of the night?

TVF: I have been bizarrely cognizant of the march towards death since I was a very small child. Every second is a lost moment and it tortures me if I look too closely at it. I used to sit and make myself cry thinking about all of this stuff when I was a kid. I panic myself often in the middle of the night. The reality that one day I picked my son up for the last time and didn’t even realize it when it happened. That one day will be the last this, that, etc. That everything I wanted to be when I was young is too late to achieve. Etc Etc. on and on. So yeah, I have always been morose. Time means absolutely nothing to a vampire, nor does sickness, or human obligations and rules. I think that’s probably while they appeal to me. They’re here, but separated from the human world we’re forced to endure. I don’t know, man. I am all about escapism.

ASJ: Are vampires your favorite monster? How do you bring “human” quality to the vampires you write about?

TVF: Vampires are absolutely my favorite. Just like human beings, vampires are just as varied. I think if you had years and years, sometimes thousands of years, worth of experiences you would have to become tortured mentally. You would have to become enlightened. And on the flipside, maybe numb to it all, angry, filled with rage and hate. The range would be every bit as all over the place as it would be for humans, but MORE because of the gift of time. I would like to think a creature who observed it all would evolve and have insights more broad, and with more depth, than we could achieve in the paltry amount of allotted time we’re given. But I suppose there’s also something to be said for the naivety of youth. None of us really knows anything. Anyone who thinks themselves wise is a fool. My vampires like to torture themselves. But that’s no doubt a reflection on the person telling their story.

ASJ: I’m also curious as to your thoughts on the work of the other musicians and dark fiction authors in the book, including Poppy Z. Brite, who wrote the Foreword, Carmilla Voiez, Nancy Kilpatrick, John Shirley, Caitlin R. Kienan, Kari Lee Krome of the Runaways fame, your mentor Jarboe, Athan Maroulis of Black Tape for A Blue Girl and Spahn Ranch, and, of course, David J. Haskins, who although he doesn’t appear in this book (aside from a blurb), provided an original poem to my William S. Burroughs tribute. 

TVF: This is kind of an odd question for me because I don’t really have opinions about other people and their work, or who they are, etc. I don’t know any of them on a personal level, outside of Jarboe, who has been a blessing in my life for decades. I really don’t focus on what other people are doing for the most part. I’m just over here in my little corner doing my own thing. I support everyone following their own path. I am a big supporter of EVERYONE creating. We all have the capacity. It’s other humans who convinced us otherwise.

ASJ: Your poem/song lyric, “Death, My Lover,” appears in my anthology White on White: A Literary Tribute to Bauhaus. What was your inspiration for this particular piece? It’s a striking and evocative work, and I’m interested in the story behind it. 

TVF: This was truly an homage to my youth and the time I spent learning about this seductive dark music world. In particular, moments with one particular friend who introduced me to so much of the music that shaped and changed my life then. I could picture it in my head as I listened to Bauhaus and wrote. The dark, smokey rooms, music playing, feeling like life meant something. It was exciting then. Everything was new to me. Long before I had any idea I would ever make music myself one day.

ASJ: Finally, in this digital age, social media has become an integral part of an artist’s life. What are your thoughts on the role of social media for artists and musicians? What do you think is the best thing about social media for artists and musicians and conversely, what is the worst? How do you navigate the challenges and opportunities it presents? What is the downside? What platforms do you find most useful for connecting with your audience? And of course, are there any ridiculous stories to share?

TVF: I would say the benefits and the downfalls are probably actually one and the same! I love connecting with people, but connecting with people can also lead to really awful things. The best and worst of the internet. I have a security system and cameras all over my house because of this bullshit. But on the flip side I’ve met so many incredible people. I think it’s great because as an artist you’re no longer beholden to a record label etc to shape your vision and control it. I can go do it myself. I can release music on Bandcamp, or publish on Amazon, or any other number of platforms, and have zero input from some entity second guessing or attempting to control me, with their fingers greedily taking the bulk of the pie for themselves. No one can tell me “you need to change that cover because my girlfriend doesn’t like it”. I can do it all myself and sink or swim on my own. I won’t be controlled artistically. This is why I don’t pursue putting shackles on myself. I’m probably never going to reach any sort of success because of it, but at least it’s all me, good and bad. I have a million ridiculous stories I could share! And I think I like Instagram the best because it’s basically all visual. It feels like there’s less drama on that app, or maybe that’s just the piece I carved out for myself.

ASJ: One final question: you told me you were excited about multiple forthcoming collaborations, which you can’t really talk about. What is most attractive to you about collaborative work?

TVF: I find it intriguing to bounce ideas off other people. I especially love tip-toeing into someone else’s world. Especially if it’s a world I’m not normally crawling around in. It’s funny because I think I get pigeonholed as this sort of “ethereal” type, but in my real world I don’t particularly connect to “nice” music. I listen to more dark and aggressive music than I do “heavenly”.  That’s one of the reasons I’m particularly happy with the heavier projects I’ve had a chance to partake in through the years. People have a lot of misconceptions about Lycia in that regard due to marketing from past labels. My own voice betrays me in this regard too. But back to collaborating, I love working with other people with different visions who come from the same/similar place. Sometimes just talking about a subject with someone will spur ideas hidden in the depths. Or you can utilize parts of yourself that aren’t really appropriate in other outlets. 

ASJ: Thanks so much for doing this interview!

TVF: Thank you for giving enough of a fuck to ask! 🙂

Charles Rammelkamp

It’s Just a Fucking Poem

When I read my poem about the shaving kit
my former sister-in-law gave me
at my high school graduation –
Claudette, three years older than me,
hadn’t yet married Mark then,
but they were engaged –
comparing it to a doctor’s bag
and also to a Medieval reliquary,
packed not with safety razor,
shaving cream, toothbrush and comb
but pills, blood pressure cuff, stethoscope,
on the one hand, crucifix, saints’ bones,
bits of clothing, on the other

Rebecca Wertz, one of my classmates,
complained that I had to choose 
one or the other.

“There’s just too much pressure.
The poem can’t carry that much weight.
Choose one metaphor or the other, not both.”

Our other classmates piled on,
sharks sensing blood, chum in the water,
getting their participation points from Nadia,
the teacher, who likewise nodded sagely.

You’re not allowed to respond to comments 
in these poetry workshops, 
just nod and be grateful, 

revise, rinse and repeat.
It’s why we’re here, to improve our work.

But goddammit, this was a poem
about my brother’s failed marriage,
the shaving kit itself a metaphor.
Nobody said even a word about that.

Daniel Burnbridge

In the Midst of the Garden

And out of the ground made the Lord God to grow every tree that is pleasant to the sight, and good for food; the tree of life also in the midst of the garden, and the tree of knowledge of good and evil.

— Genesis 2:9 King James Version


‘Have some,’ said the billionaire, laughed. Perfect white teeth. Face dead drained of color. ‘Not what you expected?’ he said. ‘Pizza on a Gulfstream. Probably expected caviar or something,’ he said. ‘Champagne. Salmon terrines. Things like that.’

‘You never have nice things on the Stream,’ said the attorney, leaned back on soft leather, steepled his fingers. ‘No surprise there.’

‘You should try it,’ insisted the billionaire. ‘Flown all the way from Naples. Some fancy pizzeria. Blasted in the microwave,’ he giggled.

‘An insult to Italian cuisine, no doubt,’ said the attorney. He smiled, but his eyes did not follow suit. His mind was elsewhere.

‘You like the plane?’ asked the billionaire.

‘It’s fantastic,’ said the attorney. ‘You ask me each time we fly on it,’ he said.

‘I know,’ said the billionaire. ‘It’s a nouveau riche thing. One never stops wondering whether others appreciate how well you’ve done for yourself.’

‘You inherited,’ said the attorney. ‘You’ve been flying in jets since you were a baby.’

‘That’s what makes it funny,’ said the billionaire. ‘Why it’s a joke.’

‘I don’t get it,’ said the attorney.

The billionaire shrugged, took a slice of pizza, looked at it longingly, dropped it back in the box.

‘At least you’re losing weight,’ said the attorney. ‘Your paunch is gone,’ he pointed, and the billionaire laughed. The laugh seemed painful, labored. It sounded like shattered glass in a paper bag.

‘Down a hundred from two hundred pounds,’ said the billionaire. ‘In less than a year. You have an asshole’s sense of humor,’ he said.

‘I am an asshole,’ said the attorney.

‘Once I’m dead and you control the trust you can use the plane whenever you please,’ said the billionaire. ‘Go all Richie Rich,’ he said.

‘Listen,’ said the attorney. ‘I’m clear on the paperwork. I did it myself. Planes and yachts and share portfolios. But you haven’t answered the other question,’ he said. ‘The one that really tickles my fancy.’

‘I’m dying,’ said the billionaire.

‘Not that. I know that,’ said the attorney, looked at the bloated face. ‘Looks like you’ve been dead a while,’ he said. ‘That’s not the question, and you know it.’

‘About the beneficiary,’ said the billionaire.

‘Yes,’ said the attorney. ‘The son you don’t have. If you had a son, I would have known,’ he said.

‘You’ll meet him soon enough,’ said the billionaire. ‘After I’ve died. It’s all been arranged. You’ll raise him like we’d agreed,’ he said.

‘There’s something wrong about this,’ said the attorney. ‘You won’t give me more than that?’ he asked. ‘Just a story full of holes?’

‘I give you what you need,’ said the billionaire. ‘When he’s grown, he’ll take over. That’s enough. You don’t need to know everything. Everything that matters is in the paperwork.’

‘I’ll raise a child and preserve your wealth,’ said the attorney. ‘That’s no small thing. It’s your entire legacy. Maybe I’m entitled to know,’ he said.

‘You’ll get your reward,’ said the billionaire. There was something menacing in his voice. ‘More than. You’ll be richer than you have any business being,’ he said.

‘How do you know I won’t screw you over?’ asked the attorney, a little shadow-smile on his lips.

The billionaire coughed. There was blood. He dabbed at it with a handkerchief, stared at the red and black spots. It took him a while to catch his breath. He looked out the little round windows at the pillow clouds outside. Then he leaned over, put a hand on the attorney’s knee, made deliberately dramatic eye contact. ‘I’ve retained others as well,’ he said, with a wink. ‘You’re not the only one. You know how this works. I’m not a fool,’ he said.

The attorney shrugged. He’d expected nothing less. Checks and balances.

‘You’re my dearest friend and I love you,’ said the billionaire. ‘You and your extraordinary billables,’ he said.

For a while, the plane thumped quietly on turbulence, each man an island.

‘Where are we going?’ asked the attorney.

‘Where am I going,’ said the billionaire.

‘OK, then,’ said the attorney. ‘Where are you going?’

‘The tract,’ said the billionaire, and the attorney rolled his eyes.

‘That frost-bitten patch of shit land,’ said the attorney, shook his head in disbelief.

‘The very same,’ said the billionaire.

‘They won’t sell,’ said the attorney. ‘You know that, right? They’ve been living there time immemorial. For them the money is an abstract thing. You’ve offered ten times more than market,’ he said. ‘They haven’t even budged.’

‘I’m making them a deal,’ said the billionaire. ‘A better one.’

‘Is that what the satchel is for?’ asked the attorney, nodded at the leather bag at the billionaires feet.

‘It’s a gift,’ said the billionaire.

‘For whom?’

‘None of your business,’ said the billionaire, with a refractory little smirk.

‘A lot of secrets,’ said the attorney. ‘Even for you. It makes me worry.’

‘Not secrets,’ said the billionaire. ‘Some things are just private.’

‘Even from me?’ said the attorney. ‘It’s always been my business to know,’ he said. ‘It’s why you trust me enough to do this for you.’

‘Some things are private,’ said the billionaire.

‘Like offering a fortune for land that’s practically worthless, and creating a trust for a child that doesn’t exist, and a dodgy bag with an undisclosed gift,’ said the attorney.

‘Exactly like that,’ said the billionaire.

‘Maybe I’m starting to think you’re losing your marbles,’ said the attorney.

‘Come now,’ said the billionaire, shook his head. Even that looked painful. ‘You don’t think that.’

The attorney stood up, poured himself a drink from the bar up the aisle. Beams of light slanted crepuscular, played on the cabin’s interior.

‘You’re right,’ said the attorney. ‘I’m just curious. Doesn’t matter. I’m committed. I gave my word and the papers are signed,’ he said. ‘Even if you’re mad as a hatter.’

‘Good,’ said the billionaire. ‘You’re wearing me out. I don’t think I have a lot of wear left.’ He reclined with a long rattling sigh, fumbled with a pillow under his neck. He pressed a button. For the nurse. For his medication.

To help escape his body for a while.

‘I’m sorry this happened to you,’ said the attorney. ‘I can’t believe there’s nothing to be done.’

‘We’ll see about that,’ said the billionaire.

***

They met in a forest, in a timber structure among darkening trees, floor to ceiling aluminum windows watching the world.

It was twilight and the day was long-shadowed and cool.

The billionaire’s Range Rover sped in with intent, as though to sweep all obstacles from its way. But there was no one there. No obstacles whatsoever. Just a quiet gray-gravel path, a couple of watchful lazing cats, red cedar, the shy chatter of woodland creatures. Somewhere down a green-grassed slope, a river murmured, and mountains crowned the distance, snow-capped, heavy with time.

The billionaire was alone. Which was a rarity. It took him a while to get out of the car. By the time he was done he was covered in sweat and his heart was racing. His body felt like it was made of cardboard and phlegm. It was a bitter thing. He fought back tears. A year ago, he ran five miles a day. He had felt immortal. Now he could hardly stand.

There was no one to meet him. Also a rarity. Probably intended as a slight.

One foot in front of the other, like an infant or very old man, the billionaire made his way. Twenty feet that felt like a mile. He had to put all his weight against the door to get it to open. He sort of stumbled inside, arms flailing.

It was bright inside. White-washed. The billionaire blinked. Rubbed his eyes. The place smelled of new paint. An unwholesome smell that promised a headache.

There were business-chic shades of calming pastel, colorful scatter cushions, a large boardroom table. There were faux leather seats and a deep-piled carpet and conference-style charging points and bottled water and keto bars. A little espresso machine. Note pads and pens.

Not unlike his own boardroom in his high-rise headquarters. Not what he’d expected. He had a picture in his head. Of some sort of hut with a muddy entrance. Of wood fires and smoke. Of wrinkled old people and angry, glaring youths. Loincloth. Things like that.

The billionaire thought there was a smell of woodsmoke in the air. Something acrid. But he wasn’t sure. His illness played with his senses.

The woman stood facing the setting sun, cerise on her cheeks. She was slight and short. With her ash white hair tied severely in the nape of her neck, she seemed very old. She was wearing an expensive-looking ivory pantsuit. She turned to him, her face serene. Her eyes showed deep crow’s feet, but her skin was smooth and rosy. She looked like she could live forever or keel over anytime.

There was something cheeky about her solitariness, no doubt. The message not lost on him. Their show of confidence. No need to send the works, they said. This single little lady could handle him, they said. This was not what they’d agreed to. It smacked of bad faith. The boardroom could seat thirty. Easy.

‘I expected to meet the elders,’ said the billionaire. ‘I’ve come a long way. I don’t have time to waste,’ he said.

The woman walked over. The way she sashayed, one foot crossing the other, made him think of a feline. Smooth, soft-pawed, sheathed claws. She took him by the arm, helped him over to two Hello Kitty tub chairs and a small coffee table facing the red setting sun. She seemed to take his weight without effort. He resented this. He was probably half her age. It made him feel like a wraith, a shadow. It made him think he’d made a mistake coming here. On his own. That he had overestimated himself.

And the strange smokey smell did not help, did not put his mind at ease.

‘I thought we could sit here,’ said the woman, in a warm, low-pitched voice. A little husky. Charming. ‘The boardroom seems excessive for just the two of us,’ she said.

‘I asked a question,’ said the billionaire. But he sat. He was exhausted.

‘I speak for the elders,’ said the woman. ‘For all of them. Whatever assurances I give you, you can bank on,’ she said. Her smile thinned. Something glinted hawkish in her eyes. ‘What’s in the satchel?’ she asked.

‘That’s for later,’ said the billionaire, trying to project a strength he did not feel. ‘First, let’s speak.’

‘We’ve spoken before,’ said the woman.

‘I don’t remember that,’ said the billionaire.

‘We’ve spoken before,’ said the woman. ‘You’ve been trying to buy our land for a long time,’ she said. ‘I can’t see the point of this meeting. I thought you might finally accept our refusal if we give it in person.’

‘The deal is different this time,’ said the billionaire. ‘I’m not coming for the land. Not now. Maybe later.’

‘You want the land because you want the tree,’ said the woman. ‘We all know that. You can’t have it,’ she said. ‘There’s no amount of money that will change that.’

‘Like I said,’ said the billionaire, ‘this is a different deal. A more focused one. I’m ill,’ he said. ‘I’m sure you can see that. I’ll be dead soon unless you agree to help me,’ he said.

‘I see,’ said the woman.

The billionaire blinked and coughed. There was smoke in the room. He was sure of it now. He could see it. A thin blue veil. Smelling lively and green.

‘That’s a difficult thing,’ said the woman. ‘A difficult negotiation. Dangerous, even.’

The billionaire tried to get up, but his limbs had no strength. He heard voices behind him. Weak voices. Like from afar. But heading their way.

‘What’s this?’ said the billionaire. ‘You’re drugging me,’ he said.

The woman laughed and the approaching voices seemed to coalesce in that laugh. ‘Things are different here to what you’re accustomed to,’ she said. ‘There’s no treachery, except for what you bring with you.’

‘No,’ said the billionaire, shook his head stubbornly. ‘I’m not here for your Zen bullshit,’ he said.

‘You can leave,’ said the woman. ‘If you want.’

The billionaire felt anger swell. Anger riding on fear.

He thought he could take it by force, if they refused to help. He could take the tree. He could steal it. He had people that could do things like that. It won’t be easy. It won’t be legal. There were risks. But it could be done.

He stood up. With all the strength he still felt in his heart. Tall and strong. But his body did not follow. He stood there, looking down at himself, at the bald spot at the back of his head. He thought he looked worn out and ugly.

The billionaire blinked, and the boardroom was gone. He was sitting in a large hutch, much like he’d imagined before the meeting. He had a headache. He closed his eyes, but he could still see. His body felt distant. Like it had gone somewhere. He felt like a feather on an updraft.

‘This is not right,’ said the billionaire. ‘You’ve done something to me,’ he said.

‘What do you want?’ asked the woman.

‘You know what I want,’ said the billionaire. ‘I want to use the tree. I want to live.’

‘No,’ said the woman. ‘You don’t understand.’

But the billionaire felt ready for this. He had expected them to say that. He thought he understood better than they did. He thought he understood perfectly well. Unencumbered by their peasant morality, he felt, he was free to look at it all with a clear open mind.

***

‘I know everything about the tree,’ said the billionaire. ‘I know it was an ordinary tree. Long ago. One of many on the river. One day,’ he said, ‘it was struck by a light like lightning that came from a dark thing hovering in the clouds. A light that was warm and blinding and that scorched the land and killed everyone in the valley. And I know the light cracked the bole of the tree and made a fissure, and that the tree’s roots lifted away from the soil, and that the roots became hard and gnarled like muscle. And then the tree grew and grew till it was larger than any other tree, and its trunk turned red like blood and its leaves black-blue.

‘For a long time,’ said the billionaire, ‘everyone kept clear of the tree because it was strange and it scared them and it seemed to whisper and move. They thought it might be sacred. Or cursed. Or both. They remembered the death it had brought when the light struck, which seemed like a warning.

‘Now this is probably more fiction than fact,’ said the billionaire. ‘But it seems there was a war and there were bodies choking up the river, some of them washing onto the roots of the tree. And the story goes there was a wounded man that crawled into the fissure because he’d thought no one would look for him there. And they say he’d died there from his wounds, and that the fissure drew him in and that the tree consumed him.

‘But you know all this,’ laughed the billionaire, something unhinged in his voice. ‘And as interesting as all this is, it’s the next bit that clinches it, isn’t it?

‘Because,’ said the billionaire, ‘came spring, the tree bore a single great fruit, and when the fruit ripened it fell to the soil and burst, and there was a baby inside, and as the boy grew they learned it was the man that had died in the fissure.’

He paused. For effect. ‘The very same man,’ said the billionaire, his face tightening in a grimace, his eyes feverish. ‘Renewed. Born again. All his memories intact.’

He held his stomach and laughed. The laughing hurt, but he could not stop. He looked around the hutch for the woman, but could not see her. Somehow, he knew she was listening.

‘Imagine that!’ said the billionaire, with glee. ‘The tree had brought him back. All of him. Body and mind. As he grew, he remembered. Every detail of the life he’d had. He was fully, indubitably himself.

‘But the tree must eat,’ said the billionaire. ‘In the beginning, you put dead people in the fissure, but gave the roots nothing, and the fruit came through rotten and corrupt, or not at all. It’s trade, not a gift, you learned.

‘See?’ said the billionaire. ‘I know the stories. I know all about the tree. I’ve made it my business. I always know my business.’

***

‘You know a great deal,’ said the woman. In an instant, the hutch was gone and the smoke bore him along, and he could hear the river’s cool murmur.

The grass beneath him felt moist, smelled peppery and alive, made him think of childhood, of being young and strong, hale and fearless. He looked up at the black open sky, at the reckless sweep of the Milky Way, felt icy air bite its way into his broken lungs. He dug his fingers into the ground, reclined, closed his eyes. He wondered whether he had died or was dying.

‘You’ve drugged me,’ said the billionaire. ‘They’ll come for you if anything happens to me,’ he said, even though he wasn’t sure that was true, couldn’t remember whether he’d told anyone where he was going.

‘You spied on us,’ said the woman.

‘My drones fly quietly and out of sight,’ said the billionaire. ‘They see and hear everything. People speak. Tell each other stories. To their children. Around campfires. In boardrooms. In bed. Especially when they think no one’s listening. Most of it is nonsense. But if you listen well, you find stories that are true,’ he said.

‘Then you know what the tree demands?’ asked the woman. ‘For its roots. What it eats?’

‘Of course,’ said the billionaire. ‘It demands its due. As it should. It demands a body for a body. The tree’s a good businessman,’ laughed the billionaire. ‘I like that. Nothing is free. Reciprocity. Mutual benefit. It’s a very rational tree,’ he said.

The river had become full-throated. The way it may roar after a storm. The billionaire opened his eyes and looked at the tree. His breath misted in shallow little puffs. He rubbed his knuckles to keep them warm. The tree whispered. The woman felt like a weight in his mind.

The tree towered, its trunk like a Doric column, its roots squirming slowly, like earthworms. He could feel it watching. It seemed to move, bending ever so slightly, like it wanted to get a closer look.

‘And the rest,’ asked the woman. ‘Do you know the rest of the story? The bad part,’ she asked.

The billionaire shrugged, smiled patiently. ‘All that good and evil nonsense,’ he said. ‘I don’t buy into that. Never had. There’s nothing wrong with doing what it takes to survive,’ he said. ‘You took your due. You claimed what was presented to you. It was a gift. It would have been wasteful to leave it fallow. It would have been a profound ingratitude to have access to immortality, and turn your back on it. You did nothing wrong,’ he said.

‘For a long time none of us died,’ said the woman, her voice like water over smooth cool stones. ‘Some of us kept going for hundreds of years,’ she said. Then, softly, a shameful whisper: ‘We fed our babies to the tree,’ she said. ‘Where else to get bodies when no one dies? A life for a life. A body for a body. To keep ourselves going. It was wrong,’ she said. ‘It took us a long time to see that. We told ourselves justifying lies. But it was murder,’ she said.

The tree sort of twisted like it had an itch.

‘Now, we hardly ever use the tree,’ she said. ‘Except in deserving cases. There was a time we even thought of destroying it,’ she said.

‘You need bodies to feed the tree,’ said the billionaire, feeling things were going well for him. ‘For the roots to eat. I can fix that. I have access to bodies,’ he said. ‘People die all the time. For a thousand different reasons that’s no one’s fault. Things get lost,’ he said. ‘People make mistakes. Computers crash or get hacked. Bodies are signed out to go to places that do not expect them and where they never arrive. If you’re connected, there are many ways,’ he said.

He grinned. Pleased with his pitch. He looked for the woman and, sure enough, she was right there. Next to him. Had probably been all this time. For a while they sat together in cool white moonlight, bats flitting about on papery wings. The tree stretched and swayed like any old tree stirring in a breeze. Except, there was no wind.

‘I can help you,’ said the billionaire. ‘If you do this for me. If you give me to the tree. If you give me another chance at life. I can give you as many bodies as you want. You can live forever,’ he said. ‘All of you. Forever.’

‘What do you have in the bag?’ asked the woman.

The billionaire smiled, opened the bag, scooped from it a dead baby, its little body in a blue fetal curl, rigid, its face hard-lined and severe like that of a long-suffering old man. He laid it before the woman, happy to show he could deliver what he had promised.

‘His mother died this morning,’ said the billionaire. ‘In childbirth. Out on the streets in the middle of the night in a screaming gale in the freezing cold. Some homeless woman,’ he said. ‘They found the two of them together. She’d kept it as close as she could, but the nights are long this time of year. It never had a chance. Had been doomed from the outset. From the day of its conception. Happens all the time. I’m not a monster,’ said the billionaire. ‘It’s not like I killed it. But it’s dead and small and easy to travel with, and we might as well use it. This way, at least,’ he said, ‘its death serves a purpose. It did not die in vain.’

The woman sat inscrutable, her head angled so she could watch him, her eyes shimmering obsidian, like the night sky, full of stars.

The billionaire thought he saw something calculating there. And that seemed like a good thing. What he had feared was heated emotion, shock. Calculation served self-interest. It was what he’d been hoping for.

‘We can do a lot of good,’ said the billionaire. ‘You can use the tree to save yourselves,’ he said. ‘Everyone you care for. Everyone you consider deserving. But first you save me,’ he said. ‘That’s the deal.’

He waited in the quiet, listening to the river, waiting for the woman to say something. He did not want to overcook his pitch.

‘You’re reasoning is sound,’ said the woman.

‘Of course,’ said the billionaire.

‘It’s remarkable what one can achieve with reasoning,’ the woman said. ‘Long ago, we also reasoned. Until everything made sense. Until things appeared the way we wanted them to,’ she said.

The billionaire coughed. Dabbed at his mouth. ‘Are we on the same page, then?’ he asked. ‘You’ll put me in the tree. When it bears fruit, you’ll make sure I make my way home. When I’m old enough to remember myself, you’ll have whatever you need to feed the tree for as long as you want. You’ll live forever,’ he said. ‘Like in the old days.’

There came a breeze. It picked up fall fragrances and the smell of something dead in the river.

The tree no longer swayed. Not even a leave stirred. It stood in quiet anticipation. Like it was holding its breath.

‘We’ll give you to the tree,’ said the woman. ‘Like I said,’ she said, ‘we still use it. In deserving cases.’

***

The coughing fit came and refused to let up.

His chest jumbled with sharp stabbing things until his throat tasted like iron and he felt raw and empty. He rolled over on his side and pulled his legs into his chest and wheezed and wept, and blacked out a while.

When he came to, he found himself in an embrace. He smelled fecund soils and fragrances of things verdant and alive, and the embrace tightened.

The billionaire opened his eyes. Hesitantly. Scared he might start coughing again. He saw the woman, not far away, her white hair bright in the cool moonlight, bent over the fissure with the dead baby in her hands, watching him, her eyes dark like death itself.

And then he understood.

‘No!’ said the billionaire. Softly, breathlessly. ‘Take me out!’ he said, feeling the churning movement of a thousand hungry things, not far beneath.

The roots tightened, drew him in.

Ever, ever downward.

He tried to shout, to let out his fear, but his lungs were empty.

Then it was dark, and the moon was gone, and there was no air to breathe, and soft suffocating sand everywhere.

Brian Rosenberger

Whore of a Muse

At times, he wonders if it’s worth it.
Never knowing his audience, if and by whom, his work is read.
Still he hopes. Sitting at the typer, long lonely nights, listening to
Monster Magnet, Rollins, and Hank III, drunk on bourbon and Pepsi
And thoughts of what might-have-been and never-was,
And God-Damn-did-I-actually-do-that?
He eyeballs the midget, short skirt (like duh! it wouldn’t be a long skirt),
Those thick, welcoming thighs, her smile, red as Satan’s asshole courtesy
of Cherry Kool-Aid and cheap Russian vodka.
Is it worth it? Word after lonely word, struggling to get the syntax perfect.
He dons the latex raccoon mask and steps forward, memorizing the setting,
Cinnabon incense, and Slipknot posters, everything looks better by candlelight,
Images stored for later. What matter is the Now; his hard-on points the way.
Is it worth it? What he does for inspiration?
At this point, seeing the midget smile,
what comes after is gravy.

Jon Bennett

Pink Eye

“I’ll send you more pictures of my armpits
when I’m over this pink eye,” she texts
I accept this, as pleading
would only discourage her
“OK, talk to you later,
I have to check my cat,” I reply
The stray cat behind the dumpster
has eaten every scrap
of the tuna I left, even the paper label,
a tin can that bare speaks of starvation
but I’ve brought more
“That’s new,” I say, “you look ridiculous,”
for a sheet of sticky brown paper
has adhered to the cat’s side
The cat hisses when I try to remove it
so I open the cans
as it shows me its pink asshole
hopping into the brambles
when I get too close
We are both starving
but for different things.

Alex S. Johnson 

Lucretia My Reflection

Kandy Fontaine adjusted her green-tinged mustache, micro-tuning the nanotech processors. Today the ends flared like the holocentric village villain; tomorrow, or in the next instant, the ends would justify the mean streets her etheric form would wander. 

Truth be told? She was tired. Tired of playing the game. Tired of conforming. So very tired of witchery as usual.

Yes, she had become a cybermagus and a mistress of magick war. She invented Grimwar and enjoyed being the local admin, outsourcing responsibility for the other nodes to various randoms, some of them beastheads–the parrots she dug special. One parrot in particular had looped through several tunnel systems in timespace and had replaced practically its entire body, such as it was, with robotic parts. 

The chaosian play was good as it got, but Kandy realized that she could play forever and the sweetness would continue to follow the law, diminishing returns chasing themselves down the rat’s alleys where the dead men lost their phones.

Lucretia buzzed her.

“Kandy,” she said, pausing to dab at her Fuck Me Red ™ lipstick implants in the mirror. The nanotech particles caused her face to shimmer, and behind tincture of drug couture she became a princess with the keys to the seven worlds.

“My reflection or yours,” said Lucretia quizically. Kandy’s pussy pulsed and warmth spread along her limbs, but she also recalled that the last time she and Lucretia hooked up–some gentech prince in vircher space thought it might be fun to watch their avatars fuck–she’d felt degraded and used, and not in the good way.

“Honesty, or…”

“Girl, you know I’m always honest,” said Lucretia. Which was a damn lie.

GhostDance at 5 zm was key to their reconciliation. They met at Shirleyz City of Dizbusters beneath the lava flow of Death Moon Omega. Both hit the Strobe heavily beforehand and their eyes glittered with skull-clots that chased each other in circles. Holograms of Dr. Gruje Panasky followed them down the streets and byways of adventure that snaked, split and became avenues of sin. 

“We have to stop doing this to one another,” said Kandy finally as their avatars melted back into the writhing pixelated black silkworm bedsheets. “We’re too much alike, and that means one of these days we’re going to jolene one another.”

“D’ya mean like that story where jolenes formed an alliance within the body of a single cyberwhore?”

“Kind of, yes.”

“But that has less than nothing to do with us. Think about this in relation to any response. What kind of feedback response did you get from your therapist the last time you discussed us?”

Kandy didn’t want to go down that road, and said as much. She kissed Lucretia one final time on those lips that were always fading to cyanosis…fantastic flavor, she thought, strawberry switchblend. 

Lucretia pulled out a single blade. It shivered between them. Kandy discovered she no longer had feelings either way. She could die then and be through with all of it.

“Do it,” she said. “I’m ready. Do both of us.”

“I’m ready too,” said Lucretia.

Afterwards they found themselves walking in comfortable silence along the beach of the Luminous Shore, as the other ghosts flickered and zipped in and out of their peripheral vision.

“Twas always thus,” said Kandy after awhile.

“Indeed,” said Lucretia.

“What exactly was up with that gentech prince?” asked Kandy, not really interested in the answer.

“Hell if I know,” said Lucretia. Her chrome skull was becoming more exposed, while Kandy’s was just growing in.

Salvatore Difalco

What The Mouth Tells

She said, You have scars in your mouth.
I guess the mouth goes through things
in the course of a life. The attempt to
emulate Chuck Smith and uncap a beer
bottle with your teeth; the lobster dinner
at Gerlinde’s cottage after six shots 
of Courvoisier; the three day blow
via Wilson and an eight-ball cut
with powdered glass it felt like;
never mind the session with a lady
from the Red Zone who found 
your lurid longing almost off-putting. 

How bad is it? I asked Amy the hygienist,
who amiably declared I had nothing 
to worry about except oral cancer.

I departed the clinic with a smile
less yellow than an hour before and my
thoughts adrift, recalling Chuck Smith
for instance, who married my cousin Maria
and is still kicking around albeit 
with dentures; and I wondered 
what ever happened to lovely Gerlinde
who my best friend Andy abandoned.
And what ever happened to Andy,
who split for the north without warning?
And Wilson is probably married with kids 
and wearing a girdle and feeling 
pretty good about how things turned 
out for him, given everything. 

And the lady from the Red Zone
back then already jaundiced 
likely grew too cynical
to profitably ply her trade,
not unlike that john many years ago 
who paid her in five dollar bills
for a taste of humiliation
and said that life, too, made him sick.

Casey Renee Kiser

Fck Me Like a Dyed FlwR

I’ve heard it all but please,
tell me how you know about blending
colors as they run
down this kind of masterpiece;
The finest piece of ass you’ve seen since
running behind at the museum
With all the things running 

down my legs,
tell me you know how to keep the dead
petals from falling all at once
Tell me you know something I don’t 
Your look is killer but I already know
about dying

Have you ever seen the rose 
that grew up between the wolf’s teeth,
but in two worlds-
Up from under the foolery of the wool;
then back 
under the day-drinking trailer park clouds, 
where slashed tires just say afterparty
The rose that grew from inside
a pinball machine, always getting slammed
on both sides by sore losers
Get a good look Daddy,
Is that what you said to call you
Should I do a three-sixty and wink 

morse code come fvck me
Can you get me so wet, my dye 
will challenge my mascara to run,
run, run, run faster
than my cold feet ever could. I know,

You need a gal
with a deathwish, a gal that bloomed 
in the noose fields of mind fuckery, 
in the sad sac 
of bad company, and still aced that escape
artistry. Well, fuck you,

if you think you’re coming over at all
to fvck me. This black blood rose is real,
and worthy of more than your stupid
fantasy. Get out of my garden
and take your dollar store paintbrush

Brooks Lindberg

The Three Halves to Sainthood:

I.
A prophet seeks to change the world.
A saint, themself.

I spare neither myself nor others
following my nose.

II.
A prophet blushes at their sins.
A saint, at none.
But both feast on sins
and famish in their absence.

The difference is a matter of gluttony.

I gorge on oysters, pussy, argument, honeycomb.

III.
A prophet needs a devil to overcome.
A saint, their will.

I throw my skinny body into cold ocean—sickness, old age, and death are all I brawl
while knowing this:
I lose.

You do too.

IV. 
I consecrate the earth—
your eyes
your dry skin
every worm in every bowel.

I shall not live posthumously—
I love you now.

Give me a call.

If we are wretched creatures
then friend
fuck salvation.