Scott C. Holstad

Icy Home Remedy Works Out Best 

I had been on a two-week drunk
trying to get over a longtime girlfriend
when I ran into her old roommate 
in a hidden-away piano bar 600 miles
away from where they shared a condo
and where I’d last seen them.

The likelihood of that?

She was sweet and very cute but
I’d always kept a distance as things
had become rocky enough without
my inadvertently complicating things.

She looked good and we spent 
a few minutes catching up before
talking about getting together,
going out on the town for some fun,
then agreeing to a date that coming
weekend. On the designated night, 
we got massively hammered and
started humping the hell out of 
each other while dancing at a gay 
bar. I found out later that evening 
that she liked having three ice cubes 
slid into her cunt before getting fucked 
doggy style. Something about the 
cockhead banging them deeper 
inside her really set her off.
It took weeks for the rug burns 
to wear off and allow me to walk
normally again but it turned out 
the pain my body endured that
night was the best damn tonic
I’ve ever found. Saved myself
thousands of dollars in therapy.