Saint Danielon
Saint Danielon was on his way to sainthood
In the Seminaries of Madrid and Segovia
Where the struggle against the flesh and its lust
Was the most longed-for victory.
He prayed and made sacrifices
In the mysticism of his soul and his ass.
Among his sacrifices were:
“When I go to bed
I sleep on the mattress
To drive in the irons and rings.
At midnight
I masturbate like a donkey
Even with my hands tied.
In the morning, when it is midday
Praying on my knees
On very hard chickpeas
I levitate better than any saint
Raising it to the Lord
To fall after the seventh mansion
With my pants wet and ejaculated.
My fellow seminarians
Are very envious of me
Seeing that my imminent ascent to the altars
Is closer every day in this life
Envious of seeing
How my penis grows more each day.”
Senior seminarians
Went to their spiritual director to tell him:
-Look, Father Liborio
Danielón isn’t fulfilling his duty
To curb and subdue his lust.
-If our beloved Danielón
Can’t overcome temptation
He doesn’t ask anything of you
Not even your arsehole.
Let him be
But let him go to confession.
Danielón has two great books with him
From which you should learn:
The Bible, full of love affairs
Obscenities, lies, plunder
Incest, and whoring
And Voltaire’s Philosophical Dictionary
Where he attacks superstition, metaphysics
Religious dogmas
And the dangers of authoritarian governments.
Make your own as Danielón does
Voltaire’s famous phrase:
“Think for yourself and let
Others enjoy the privilege of doing so as well.”
One day Danielón left the Seminary
Without even saying goodbye
To the superior and confessor
Encouraged by his brothers-in-law
Who were a pair of lecherous womanizers
Who gave him a sketch of Madrid
With the places marked in color where he could find
The best and worst prostitutes.
He, not being stupid
Wanted to find out about the places by experimenting.
Near the Seminary
They pointed out the back
Of the Royal Basilica of San Francisco el Grande
Which stands out for its majestic dome
And its art collection
With Goya and Zurbarán’s works
With an observation in black pen:
“It’s not worth it.
The prostitutes fuck with their legs spread wide
On a rock, and for a peseta (a penny).
There’s a long line, and you have to take your dick out.”
They also pointed out the Plaza Mayor
And the Habsburg Quarter
Between the Sol and Opera metro stations
With this observation:
“The women aren’t bad
But they cost an arm and a leg.”
They also pointed out
Tirso de Molina Square, the Rastro flea market
And Ballesta Street
Located between Malasaña, Gran Vía, and Chueca
With this observation:
“Areas of divine, eternal prostitution
Where prostitutes advertise themselves
As sellers of sweets and contraband tobacco:
“Sunflower seeds, chewing gum, candy, tobacco
There’s a plan”
At the price of two or three pesetas.”
They also highlighted Paseo de la Habana
And Orense Street
With this observation:
“High-class whores
But with vaginas as ugly as those of the monkeys
At the Zoo in Casa de Campo
At a price of five to ten pesetas.”
Danielón decided to find one
In Tirso de Molina Square
Or the Rastro flea market.
Passing in front of
The Royal Collegiate Church of Saint Isidro
And Our Lady of Good Counsel
He saw a very attractive woman coming out
And, standing next to her
He said her:
-I’ll lick your cunt and fuck it so.
She looked at him and smiled, replying:
-Come and follow me.
We went to Tirso de Molina Square.
There, in the doorway, were three hunks waiting.
The whore told them:
-I’ll finish with this one right away.
He just got out of the seminary.
Danielón acted like a real macho man.
He rode her like a donkey
Leaving her cunt a beautiful mess
With the meringue of his ejaculation all over her.
She left her legs spread wide
With all the meringue still there.
The three hunks from the doorway appeared
With their hard pricks
Together and inside her cunt
Continuing fucking and enjoying her.
Horror Sleaze Trash 