Jeff Weddle

Scumbag Jesus

What a lovely place for thugs 
and Jesus we have become,
especially since Jesus is now 
a killer and a rapist, 
a scumbag of avarice. 
The Lord knows we are very special, 
since nobody knows more 
about God and guns 
than we do 
and we alone can tell the world 
to bow down before us. 
Well, the world minus Russia, 
since they own us now, 
and maybe minus China, 
since they also have a claim, 
or the various Middle Eastern states
since they give so much cash 
to our Dear Leader. 
What a lovely stink we have
from our festering rot,
or maybe let’s say 
it’s from the dirty poor. 
Scumbag Jesus knows 
the impoverished and their needs 
are disgusting. 
Their bodies are only good 
for the pleasure of their betters, 
and only if they have strong backs 
or nice tits. Very young nice tits, 
especially so. 
Everyone dies at the end, 
so why be concerned? 
Scumbag Jesus sure isn’t. 
All the health care in the world 
won’t change that, 
so let’s just stop coddling the poor. 
The very, very rich have to eat, too, 
so we must be humane 
and cut their taxes to nothing.
Scumbag Jesus knows a thing or two 
about the burdens of wealth, 
since he and his dad 
have many mansions, 
and the upkeep is a bitch. 
So, he approves, just as he approves 
of the president’s secret police 
snatching people off the streets 
for torture and prison. 
Scumbag Jesus loves that most of all. 
Scumbag Jesus hates the libs, though,
as he hates the poor, 
and he hates everyone 
not born in America, 
also most people born here, 
since we are getting poorer by the day. 
One more thing:
Scumbag Jesus told me,
when we were drinking a beer 
the other night, 
that he made dicks for stabbing pussies 
and pussies for making babies 
and getting grabbed by celebrities, 
so the trans abominations
best stop their sinful ways. 
Scumbag Jesus won’t be taking your shit. 
He has no fucks to give. 
He’ll see you in Hell, 
waving the Stars and Stripes, 
and swinging his holy dick 
like a motherfucker.
Scumbag Jesus is proud to be an American, 
where at least he knows he’s free.