Kandy Fontaine: Slutty Cenobite Detective
Kandy Fontaine was chilling with a vape and doomscrolling on the ‘net when she caught the flicker of something forbidden on her screen.
Specifically, a text message which appeared to have leaked through from her Onion subrouter she used to access the dark web.
“Time to play?” read the text.
“Positively,” typed back Detective Fontaine.
The texts came fast and furious then: an invitation to the dance. Demons or angels, depending. The box. It floated six inches in front of her laptop screen, made of interlocking nodes of data that glowed a phosphorescent green. Inside lurked bondaged creatures, hotties, coolies, lukewarms, all from another, grim dimension, all promising pleasures and terrors and soul-shredding beyond the furthest reaches of even her, admittedly depraved, imagination.
Soon they stood in front of her. The legends, the one they called The Engineer, the Chatterer, all the archetypal crew.
“Your suffering will be legen-” began the one known as the Hellpriest.
Kandy put up a black leather gloved hand. “Got it. Even in hell, legendary, my suffering. Make it so. I’m game. Rip me multiple holes, fold them back, fuck them, smear me across many dimensions, shred my pussy, bind and flay and gag me, do watcha do. I’m game, I’m hip, and wet af.”
“No, seriously,” said the dark lord, known to Fandom–and later, in THE SCARLET GOSPELS-as Pinhead, for obvious reasons.
“Seriously?”
“Seriously, we will fucking TEAR YOUR SOUL APART.”
“I like what we’re saying here,” said Detective Fontaine, pulling aside her soaked panties so the Hellpriest could espy her glistening labia. “I want you to. Do the thing. For sport. Send me to Hell. Do your worst.”
“Wait,” said the Hellpriest. He consulted with one of his lieutenants in soft, androgynous syllables. Then: “how did you access us without the Lament Configuration?”
“Wait-I thought I did,” said Kandy. “Maybe you could ask an admin. Do you have those…where you are?”
“No admins, please, it’s…too mundane.” But Kandy could tell his heart wasn’t in it.
“So, you’re confused, I don’t give a fuck, just bend me over and give me a proper hell-rogering. So fucking wet, muh dude. Ready to be thoroughly soul-ripped. Hang me up like a side of meat. Do the needful.”
The Hellpriest coughed. “Actually, do you think we might take a rain check, or just…not?” Kandy’s greed for torture was obviously freaking him out.
“Well…what? Do you want ME to do EVERYTHING?”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean…well, why don’t I just show you…such sights.” And with those words, Kandy’s skin flowed with glowing grid lines that intersected at discrete intervals where nails had been driven. Soon every inch of her flesh had been thoroughly worked over, and she looked like a lab experiment gone terribly wrong, all glistening red muscle meat and no lips.
“Fuck me you’re weird!” said Pinhead. “Ok so look, and this is…completely unprecedented, but…we’re going to voluntarily…return…only…this is embarrassing, but…could you send us back?”
“No.”
“No???”
She touched the Hellpriest’s chest, which opened up beneath her hand. She reached inside and pulled out his heart, held the muscle up to her gory lips for a moment, then began to chew. “Fuck that’s tasty!” she exclaimed.
“Noooooo….”
“Yessssss,” she said, mocking him.
Pinhead’s flesh began to disappear in shreds and reappear in Kandy’s body. Soon she had completely ingested him into her own protean form. She belched and began to rapidly rub her clitoris while lubricating herself with a fine mixture of the Hellpriest’s soul-essence and his fleshly part.
His loyal followers parted like a sea, and she began to incorporate herself into the matrix of the Hell Kingdom. At some point no real difference could be discerned between her and Hell itself.
From her nodal throne she texted her partner, Detective Joe Oroborus.
“Wouldst like to live delicously af? And bring the crank and DMT? But this time, no carpet garf please.”
Kandy Fontaine, Slutty Cenobite Detective, reigned in Hell until she got bored. Then she returned to the mundane realm and engaged in the usual desultory shenanigans.
Horror Sleaze Trash 