Karl Koweski

a shameful uniformity

I can’t quantify my hatred
for the Cub Scouts,
but it is always there,
seething,
just below the surface.

those brightly colored merit badges
and bullshit ribbons,
pseudo survivalist camping trips,
pinewood derby races
rewarding the children
possessing the most industrious fathers.

the cub scouts,
a militaristic outreach program
with the sole aim
of selling Orville Reddenbacher popcorn
to the clueless masses.

so reminiscent of that other
haven for pedophiles,
the Klu Klux Klan
charging $200 to join
another $250 for the fancy robes
then, every year they change the
design of the hem forcing you
to buy new robes if you wish
to remain au currant with your jackass
buddies, only to finally discover
you still have to do a bake sale
and sell rebel flag bumper stickers
just so your klavern can afford
to attend the hate rally
sponsored by the local Chik-Fil-A
down in Pawntatawk, Mississippi.

everything is a racket.