Ronan Barbour

Blondie 

sun sets on the skyscraper 
gold glowing out from some of the many windows 
there are people in there
murderers, perhaps 
there are people down here too, murders perhaps
but who cares about that 
for now I am intrigued by what goes on in the boardrooms and bathrooms and conference rooms of that big impressive tower
looming tall just beyond the other face of the famous Hollywood sign hill 
glowing behind it like a great Mars red dune this time of evening 

the gold lighted windows together make an indifferent face
as the cool new evening backdrop bears the dark blue of mythic California promise 
it’s the same out there by the sea, I’m sure
where death encircles the missing heart of Venice like vultures dressed as shadows

it’s always that dark blue painted around black palm trees
that haunts the thought of leaving L.A.

I imagine the mythic woman’s face framed in that magic mystique night
and know the touch of that colour goes very deep down 
between my lungs

I would kill myself in Oklahoma 
I would never be found again in Nebraska 
I’ve lived in Europe, I’ve loved in Europe 
I wonder again 
and again 
if this could be 
the last year in L.A.  

where do you go sounds the echo by the door
when every other place seems to make so much sense 

maybe it’s in your blood now, you wonder 
as you intoxicate yourself towards early death 
perhaps that was always 
just the point  
perhaps you never got it and never could 
and it’s all just one long dumb dream to be awakened into the worst practical nightmare

a body drops crashing into a pool nearby 
a gun goes off or is it a car
neighbours nearby make no sense as they make sounds
teenagers and children avoid me and only  
mothers to newborns give me kind smile 
only because they catch me looking too long

that’s alright 

I wonder how the hell they’re doing up there 
in that great big tower
even as I wonder too 
how I ever found that deep dark blue 
so true