Casey Renee Kiser

Jane of The Jungle

I remember Him, Him 
and him 
They’d beat on their chests 
and claim my swirling-drain heart;
Claim me with echoed ego,
Mark me as ‘rescued’
But every branch I’d reach for 
after that    would snap
So many branches
when they all just kept a one-track mind
…AVOID EMOTION…
I remember myself too-
Me, myself and I reporting for duty
Surely, with all my personalities,
I can get one of these motherfuckers 
to warm up around here
(words directly from my childhood trauma)
I’m lost again in my constant need to mother

Emotionally unavailable men-
sexy hearts in barbed wire lace
lit up my black hole

Can’t commit, can’t decide on anything
except to hold back? Well honey, 
you’ve got a chance with me!
Feel nothing (give a bit) Say nothing (give a bit)
Admit nothing, push-pull, PUSH-PULL
And I laugh at the fact 
that I never believed in wearing a watch
‘Cause all I get is
motherfuckers wasting my time

Turns out, a jungle man is an idealized good time
but they get boring faster than I can say,
oh, my hero…
Wearing their mommy issues like animal skin,
so, they can pretend they’ve conquered them
Protecting the honor of their toxic mothers
while attempting to dodge every call, every visit
Soaking up mommy’s gossip gush and rumor rush
I’d blow kisses 
while they’d throw banana peels at my feet. 
Trained monkeys!

Still, I’d wrap myself around their thumbs
when they weren’t sucking them
Gimme more, gimme more baby, 
ANY DAY NOW…

Oh yeah, I was Jane of The Jungle,  
swinging from tiny moment to tiny moment
of which I related
Grasping tight to the in-betweens, 
the bones they threw, I’d bury deep

Getting fucked till I was pretty
by distant eyes, 
I remember when I had the energy
But I am choosing now to forget

Finally, clean and dry, I wave 
good-bye to the spin cycle;
to the mucky jungle
with pitted eyes
from a cloud
above
the asylum

Yeah, 
I wear the ‘crazy ex’ label proudly.
I WORKED HARD FOR IT.

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