Johnny Scarlotti

dam i wish i had a mcchicken… 

i sit down on the curb
remembering that great scene in the movie american history x
* so hungry *
look at the ground
a rolly bug (!)
pick it up
watch it on my palm 

a young one approaches
are you really jesus christ reincarnated? she asks,
pointing to the words on my shirt
sure am.  
mom told me you are just a very sick man
well, what do you think? i ask her 
hmm, she thinks.. 
while i put the bug in my mouth
ew! she squeels
mmm! i say
what’s it taste like? 
a mcchicky, i tell her 

JENNY COME HERE RIGHT THIS INSTANT! her mom is screaming 
jenny says bye jesus! 
see u later jenny 
i watch her run 
her dress blowing up in the wind
revealing very white panties
i tongue bits of the bug from my teeth 
tastes like pussy

pro tip: if ur really hungry u can eat rollypollies to keep ur energy up 
suburban bear grills

i walk on
through a neighborhood
passing great big houses
perfectly manicured green lawns
cherry blossom trees 
barking dogs
behind big gates
a muscle man is washing his BMW
shirtless
he stares at me
i stare back
i take off my shirt 
he asks what are you staring at?
i say i’m staring at a mcchicken 
what did you say, buddy?
you heard me loud and clear, chum 
listen pal, if you don’t move along, i’m going to call the cops…
i see a lady pass by in the window behind him  
i point her out, 
i tell him i’m going to move a long thick schlong
up that bitch!

i lick my lips 

i’m jesus christ i can do anything i want