J.J. Campbell

i think i finally found the right drugs

and in my dreams
i’m elvis straining
on the toilet, wondering
when peanut butter
and banana beat out
pussy as my favorite
thing to eat
 
suddenly, pam grier
saunters into the room
 
explaining to me all the
reasons why we could
never work as a couple
 
she slides me her room
key and begs me to come
prove her wrong
 
my juices start to flow
 
this is a challenge i’ve
been dying to accept for
forty fucking years now
 
i get up and start to march
to her room, all the while
 
forgetting to wipe
 
i wake up and grab a pen
 
laughing
 
someone somewhere
will see the metaphor
here and will hopefully
be laughing as well