Catfish McDaris

The Most Beautiful Lady in Albuquerque

Bianca lived north of Albuquerque in the quaint little town of Corrales. She had a small adobe house with a wood burning stove and two fireplaces, Juanito had built for her. She worked for a rich family, caring for their horses and tending their garden. They had chickens and an orchard of apple and plum trees. Her boyfriend, Buffalo played in a country and western band. Buffalo had moved from New York to New Mexico to avoid the fierce winters. He knew about plants and herbs. Buffalo was currently reading Stalking the Wild Asparagus by Euell Gibbons. He’d found an abundance of asparagus spears under almost every tree in the orchard. Steamed with butter, garlic, and peppers, the asparagus was delicious. Bianca shared the spears with the owners of the ranch, the Smithe’s. They were usually only in New Mexico in the winters, being mostly snow birds from Boston.  

Juanito was Bianca’s brother, he stayed most weekends with her and Buffalo. He worked for the Santa Fe National Forest Service as a surveyor for timber roads and a forest firefighter. Juanito would leave Santa Fe every Monday to spend the week in the forests, staying in government quarters or in motels. He never rented an apartment, so he had a few ladies he stayed with or he’d head south to his sister’s. Juanito’s main lady was a scientist in Los Alamos, she was a bit too serious for him. Her name was Brenda and she loved sex, but needed to be loosened up. Brenda was a brunette with a dynamite figure and a brain to match.  

Juanito spoke Spanish everyday on his job, he was the only Anglo. His crew was made up of five men including the crew chief. They would depart from Santa Fe in four wheel drive trucks and head north, unless there was a fire to be fought. The crew often saw an old lady in a sombrero carrying an easel and paint box. She would be out walking near Abiquiu or Ghost Ranch or Taos. Juanito asked about her, they said she was Georgia O’Keeffe, an old gringa painter.  

Buffalo’s band was playing at a honky tonk in Albuquerque, he asked Juanito if he wanted to come hear them play. Bianca never went when he played because all the ladies loved his singing and usually wanted the whole enchilada. Juanito never failed to make an acquaintance, when he turned on the charm. The Smithe’s asked Juanito to build them a patio with native stone and a barbeque pit, so he spent a few months coming every weekend to Corrales. There were many rich people that had haciendas and kept horses in the village.  

John owned the biggest and most famous rock and roll club in Albuquerque. He was basically rolling in money. He liked the very best pot, liquor, and horses, plus he lived with a Playboy bunny. Toni was a centerfold and Playmate of the year. She was beautiful, lovely, perfect, and when she grinned at you, you were a gone goose. Her hair was golden blonde, upstairs and down.  

Juanito happened to pass by John and Toni’s bedroom while delivering weed and she was naked. She made no move to cover herself, she just laughed and smiled mischievously. Toni fell backwards onto the bed and let her legs fall apart revealing heaven on earth with a royal invitation. Juanito was kind of frozen like a statue staring, he had a crowbar erection. He knew right then he was going to tap that ass like a keg of Old Milwaukee.  

John asked Bianca to ride his new horse, she asked if he’d been saddle broken. John said, the horse was gentle and tame. Bianca got on the horse and it reared and started galloping wildly away, John was almost shitting himself laughing. Juanito jumped in his truck and chased down his sister on the unbroken horse. Juanito wanted to stomp John face in, Bianca talked him out of it. John had lots of cop friends and low life amigos. Bianca had a good thing in Corrales. That’s when Juanito starting making his plans for revenge, he plotted and schemed and was diligent and patient. 

Juanito spent a weekend with Brenda in Los Alamos. He explained what had happened to his sister. Brenda was reluctant at first to help Juanito with his plan, but after some extra special love making, she agreed.  

Toni started receiving flowers with poems of love. Juanito asked her to come to Bianca’s house to hear Buffalo’s band practice. He taught her all the latest western dance steps. It wasn’t long before he had her eating sugar cubes and apples from his hand like a fine filly. Soon, Juanito was making passionate love to Toni, while John was taking care of his bar. Finally, one night Juanito helped Toni pack her clothes and they drove north. They camped for a few days in the mountains, near a hot springs, it was a paradise of sheer bliss. Juanito told her about his plan for her to stay with Brenda and take some college courses. Toni agreed if she liked Brenda and they got along. She was fed up with John being a tyrant and tired being a kept woman.  

Brenda and Toni hit it off like long lost sisters. They traded off making love to Juanito. He could’ve had them both together, but he preferred to concentrate on one lady at a time. Winter soon came, John had heard rumors that Juanito had played back door man on him, making off with his woman. There was never any real proof of the cuckold. That came later, like having his ugly nose rubbed in horse shit. 

The forests became impassible in winter, so Juanito was laid off for four months of the year. Juanito decided to visit some folks back east and take some turquoise jewelry to sell. Brenda and Toni drove him to the airport in Albuquerque. Juanito felt like a king walking through the airport crowds with his two gorgeous ladies. Men rubbernecked with lust, women gawked with envy. There were reporters and cameramen there for the band Jethro Tull’s arrival. 

They took photos of Juanito, Toni, and Brenda. The ladies were all over Juanito. Toni was recognized as a Playboy centerfold. The next day the headline in the Albuquerque Tribune read: The Most Beautiful Lady in Albuquerque.  

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