Dave Cullern

Mr Almost

I’ll give up the fags
This evening

The booze in a couple
Of days

Start writing that novel
A week Tuesday, gives me time to buy
A new pen
A new desk
A new chair

I’ll go running in my new running shoes
Next week
Do press ups and sit ups
And squats

I’ll even take the leap
And find a therapist, talk about
Starting fresh, that’s what my problem is,
Probably the week after that

I’ll cook vegetables for my dinner from
The third of next month,
Watch calories from then on,
I’ll probably only have a few a day
After that,
Be skinny by the end of the year

I gave up the class A’s
Yesterday
And I’ve done really well with that

So I think I’m ready to test
The limitations of my ageing body
In multiple ways
Starting first thing next month

I’ll get to doing yoga, magick, meditation
All that eastern stuff
But not until I’ve got all of
This other shit out of the way

I’m not a fucking
Miracle man.